35 Rules For The Modern Man

This is an excerpt from a list I came across quite awhile ago online, and was happy to have a friend remind me of it on Facebook earlier. I think it provides a good set of guidelines for the modern man in order to be our best selves, so I wanted to share it on here. To the point and effective. Enjoy!

rules5

Stop talking about where you went to college.

Always carry cash. Keep some in your front pocket.

Rebel from business casual. Burn your khakis and wear a suit or jeans.

Never stay out after midnight three nights in a row … unless something really good comes up on the third night.

You will regret your tattoos.

Never date an ex of your friend.

When the bartender asks, you should already know what you want to drink.

If you perspire, wear a damn undershirt.

When people don’t invite you to a party, you really shouldn’t go. And sometimes even when you are invited, you shouldn’t go.

People are tired of you being the funny, drunk guy.

When in doubt, always kiss the girl.

rules6

No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.

There’s always another level. Just be content knowing that you are still better off than most who have ever lived.

You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.

Ask for a salad instead of fries.

Don’t split a check.

Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.

When a bartender buys you a round, tip double.

The cliché is that having money is about not wasting time. But in reality, money is about facilitating spontaneity.

Do not use an electric razor.

Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.

Buy a tuxedo before you are thirty. Stay that size.

Place-dropping is worse than name-dropping.

rules7

Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.

Staying angry is a waste of energy.

Always bring a bottle of something to the party.

If it’s got velvet ropes and lines, walk away unless you know someone.

Feigning unpretentiousness is worse than being pretentious. Cut it out with the vintage Polo and that ’83 Wagoneer in Nantucket.

The New Yorker is not high-brow. Neither is The Economist.

No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.

Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.

Read more. It allows you to borrow someone else’s brain, and will make you more interesting at a dinner party – provided that you don’t initiate conversation with, “So, who are you reading …”

Hookers aren’t cool, and remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.

Don’t ever say, “it is what it is.”

If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.

You can read the full list where it originally appeared, here.

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23 thoughts on “35 Rules For The Modern Man

  1. I love it. I know I’m a female, thus I’m not sure I agree with all of them, (my husband has tattoos), but I think this list could help many men go far. Its an awesome list for life!

  2. I’m honestly a little disappointed in this. I usually love your articles and I’m a big fan, but I don’t like alot of the things on the list. An exmple is that you will regret tattoos. That statement itself is outdated and rather rude. Now I do agree with a few, but I think it would have been better if you made your own version of this.

    • Well, I suppose it is a good thing that the only article you are disappointed in on this website was not written by me. 🙂

      Re-working it and creating my own is a good idea! Perhaps I will work on that this week.

      Thanks Anne!

      – James

  3. Rule 36 – Don’t worry about blog criticism. When you state your opinions, others will inevitably disagree. That is fine. I liked your post. My name is Bryce, I head up Man Skills Academy in SF. Would be great to connect with you regarding potential speaking engagements/partnership. What is the best way to get in touch?

  4. uh…why is no one commenting on the fact that this article suggests men be aggressive creeps towards women…oh wait..this is for the modern man..the modern man IS an aggressive creep that doesn’t know the definition of harassment, certainly not sexual harassment.

    so many incredibly sexist stereotypes i could vomit.

    • Could you point out where exactly there are any sort of suggestions about aggression or creepiness? This entire website is dedicated to the exact opposite – equality, love, and respect. This is evidenced in any of the other 500+ articles you could possibly click on.

      Granted, this article is not my original content, but I still certainly would not endorse it if I felt it even had any shred of aggression towards women.

      Thanks for your input,

      – James

      • 1. When in doubt, always kiss the girl.
        nope- when in doubt ask permission, never ever “assume” a woman even wants you anywhere near here, nonetheless violating her face unless she gives consent.

        2. No selfies. Aspire to experience photo-worthy moments in the company of a beautiful woman.
        nope- there’s absolutely nothing wrong with loving yourself and displaying that sense of self love and confidence, however there is definitely something very wrong with assuming modern men are all heterosexual.

        3. You can get away with a lot more if you’re the one buying the drinks.
        this one is absolutely DISGUSTING as it implies when on a date or in a bar buying drinks for someone, whether male or female, you are then OWED some sort of free pass for whatever offensive move you’re about to make.

        4. Don’t split a check.
        completely dated bullshit. many women can and WANT to pay for their own meals. do not deny us our independence by insisting we really need you to pay for our things.

        5. Pretty women who are unaccompanied want you to talk to them.
        NOPE. most pretty women (all women), especially if you share the attitudes of this author- want you to stay the fuck away from them. Assuming a woman wants a man to approach them is assuming a woman is only happy in the company of a man. Beyond this making assumptions about how “needy” women are you’re also assuming she’s interested in men.

        6. Desserts are for women. Order one and pretend you don’t mind that she’s eating yours.
        Desserts are for any person that wants to eat a fucking dessert. Stop portraying sweets as “feminine”

        7. Yes, of course you have to buy her dinner.
        nope- see #4, and add in the fact that this also assumes there is some sort of “trade” being implied. What exactly do you expect to receive, or feel you are owed by the purchase of a meal…?

        8. No-one cares if you are offended, so stop it.
        nope- you can most certainly be a male that is genuinely offended for good reason and should express such opinion…especially when you are being harassed by someone, being threatened by someone, dealing with racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. Express the shit out of your offense..you might educate someone or maybe prevent a hate crime.

        9. Never take an ex back. She tried to do better and is settling with you.
        Assuming again the modern man’s ex is female, that she left you (implies a little about the author’s state of “butthurt”, and that she left for reasons that aren’t legitimate such as abusive behavior, or the fact the man/author in question is a misogynist POS.

        10. Hookers aren’t cool, and remember, the free ones are a lot more expensive.
        Hooker is an incredibly offensive slur for a full service sex worker. A FEMALE sex worker specifically. Not only are most sex workers the coolest people you will never know- the “free ones” (what the actual fuck) implies ALL women are sex workers or are in some way simply trading sexual favors for financial status- not that i don’t know…maybe they enjoy sex…most likely not with this author though since he clearly has a lot to learn about women and I can say with about 99% confidence this author still can’t tell the clit from the inner or outer labia.

        11. If you believe in evolution, you should know something about how it works.
        Right..did you know that we evolved from being a polyamorous society in which women were actually viewed and treated as..gasp..equals? not stereotypes or property.

        If you need suggestions for literature to back any or all of these arguments, holler. I gotchu.

    • I didn’t say I necessarily agreed with all of your points. These are very short statements that could be taken multiple ways by multiple people. You are the only person who has complained about the content of the article, and thousands have read it.

      They are not my words, and it makes for good discussion. Some of it is better than others. So, I think I will leave it up.

      Thanks again!

      – James

    • Yeah but I didn’t write this. 🙂 If I am going to spend energy defending an article, it’s going to be one I wrote. Not a random list from someone else.

      Thanks again for your comments. Please feel free to read content I actually wrote, and then leave your thoughts.

      All the best,

      – James

      • i did- also all based on sexist stereotypes and misogyny. have YOU read anything you’ve written?

      • I suppose the better question is- have you read anything a woman has written? … try to do that..educate yourself on the damage these attitudes have caused us in this patriarchal society.

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