Women think men are complicated, and men think women are complicated. Could this be because we spend too much time trying to figure each other out and not enough time learning about each other? Too much time talking about each other and not enough time talking to each other?
I think if men would sit down and have meaningful conversations with women, to find out what makes them tick, what their passions and desires are, they would realize in reality, women aren’t really that complicated.
It goes both ways as well. But since women are more apt to open up about their feelings than men, we need to realize that we need to be more open and direct about how we feel and what we want. You could be the simplest person alive, but if you never express yourself, nobody will ever know.
So what are some things that men want women to know?
We really aren’t that complicated.
Yes, there it is. The entire idea of this article summed up in one point. It can be put this succinctly because when a woman’s mind starts to wander or overthink what may be going on with a man, this point is important to remember. Whatever path your mind has started down, take a few steps back and that’s probably where he is at.
We want to protect you.
I know, I know, equality. We know that you don’t need us, but we want you to want us. There are certain things that are embedded in our DNA, things that make men…men, and one of them is the desire to protect the woman in our life (all women…mothers, sisters, daughters, and especially significant others).
When I was a kid I had a fantasy of protecting a girl getting bullied on the playground. To be her knight in shining armor and save the day. To be the superhero.
As an adult, I realize that the same desire has remained within me, just not as fantastically dramatic. As men, we can ‘protect’ a woman by being her support system. By encouraging her in all areas of life (as she does for us), by taking care of her when she is sick. By standing by her side during hard times. By making her feel safe and secure. This is what a real superhero does.
To me, the biggest compliment a woman can give a man is that she feels safe around him. If she cannot sleep soundly with you, you are doing something wrong.
We really do think you look beautiful without makeup.
All men can appreciate the results of well-applied makeup, even if they don’t realize that’s what they’re appreciating. They probably don’t know anything about your shading and contouring, but damn, you look pretty.
You know when else you look pretty? When you first wake up. When you can’t possibly accept the fact that someone actually thinks you look good. When your hair is a mess. When you’ve just tossed on a t-shirt and sweatpants. It’s a different kind of “good” than when you are all dressed up ready to go out – but trust me, it’s still good.
Sometimes we really don’t know what we want.
No, this is not the same as being complicated. It’s not as if a man will tell you one thing he wants and secretly want another. Sometimes, we really don’t know. Do we want kids? Not really sure yet. Do we want to get married? I mean, maybe…I guess. Where are we going to want to be living in 10 years? It depends on how much money we make and where our family is.
Life is hard to figure out. We have goals, dreams, and ambitions, but we really don’t know how things are going to play out.
But here is the good news – if we are committed to you, we want you there by our side to watch how it all unfolds.
We’re not going to cheat on you.
How can I say this when men (and women) cheat all the time? Well, because I’m writing with the assumption that the man you’re with is a man of quality and can be trusted. If he wasn’t, you wouldn’t be committed to him, right? (Right?)
That being said, if we go out with our friends for a night or look a little too long at the waitress, it doesn’t mean anything bad is going to happen. A man who really loves you will understand that temporary physical satisfaction can never hold a candle to the satisfaction of the returned love of the woman he cares about.
We might flirt, it’s in our nature. We might hug a female friend for a few seconds longer than you’re comfortable with – but it doesn’t mean we would ever betray your trust or cross any lines. We are social, gregarious creatures – but we are committed to the one we love.
We want to make you happy (and for you to tell us how).
Sometimes, we might not know exactly how, but that’s not going to stop us from trying. To help us along, be open and honest about what you want. Some peoples’ minds are going in different directions right now – the heathens are thinking about this playing out in the bedroom, and the more innocent among us are thinking of telling us what kind of cake you want for your birthday, or something.
Guess what…both are right.
We are more than willing to do what it takes you keep you smiling, and we want to hear what it is.
We don’t like your ex boyfriend.
Whatever he did or whoever he is, he’s probably an idiot.
We seriously “didn’t mean it that way.”
Sometimes, the wrong thing comes out. The wrong word, or series of words, and it might sound bad. In some cases for some guys, really bad. If a guy immediately realizes what he said and tells you that’s not what he meant, he really didn’t. Try to cut him a little slack and let him explain himself.
We love it when you rest your head on our shoulder.
Honestly, do it more. Planes, trains, buses, wherever.
You are good enough.
If we have committed ourselves to you, it’s because you are what we want. We think you are beautiful. We think you are sexy. We think you are smart. We think you are funny. And if we didn’t, we would still be single.
Some men don’t tell the woman in their life how they feel often enough. Some just aren’t affectionate, and while I am doing my best to write about topics that encourage men to do better, and to be better, none of us can change a person’s nature.
So it’s important to realize that a man’s commitment to you might be his best way of showing you how much he loves you. Even if he doesn’t tell you every day: you are what he wants.
We want to know you appreciate us.
We don’t need any grand gestures or a tit-for-tat relationship, but even the kindest of people will begin to feel discouraged if their efforts go unnoticed. Take a moment every now and then to tell the man in your life that you appreciate what he does. Those simple words will make his day.
As men, we are working to do the best that we can. We understand that the woman in our life probably makes as much, if not more, as we do; but we still want to have the ability to provide, just the same. We want to be good boyfriends, husbands, and fathers. We want to be good brothers and good sons, and we want to make the people we care about proud.
We might not say these things out loud all the time, or even ever. But if you’re wondering what we’re thinking about when we’re staring off into space, this is probably it.
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