For today’s generation of men, finding the type of woman we can picture ourselves in a long term relationship with, marrying, and building a family with, can be a long and tiring one. Sometimes, discouraging. But it is important for us to understand that good women, while hard to find, are out there. The same can be said for men – but since I write from the male perspective (obviously), that is where this article will come from.
First, we need to open our hearts and minds to the possibility of actually being able to find the type of woman we can envision a future with. If we enter every dating scenario with the presumption that each woman will be like the last, we will always find a way for the relationship to fail and continue to ask ourselves why nothing ever works out and every scenario seems to be the same.
Once we do come across her, though, we have to put in the effort it takes to show her we are serious about her and are willing to go above and beyond the men in the past who have perhaps given her the same perception some of us have developed about our generation’s women.
When you find that type of woman – never let her go.
The type of woman who makes you smile just by thinking about her.
Not just when you talk to her, or when you are with her, or when you come across a photo of her online – but when you simply think of her (which is often) or see something that reminds you of her. You smile not just because of who she is, but what she stands for. Happiness, excitement, hope, and possibilities for the future.
The type of woman who is thoughtful and does small things for you frequently.
As men, I believe it is important to consistently be romantic and chivalrous towards the woman in our life. Not just in the beginning of a relationship, but always – even if we are together forever. Often times, though (speaking from experience), men who are givers can sometimes feel taken for granted or that their efforts are not reciprocated. The type of woman who will make you as happy as you make her will do these things for you without want for return or a reciprocal expectation, but simply because she cares.
The type of woman who you can just be with.
Two people who are meant together should never have to try to be comfortable around each other. People who have to fill their time with constant talking or physical activity may not even realize that this could be a sign that they are not truly content with their significant other. When you find a woman who you can just sit with in silence (no phones, computers, or TV), you will know she is right for you. This may sound crazy – but only until you actually find her. ‘Silence is pure. It draws people together because only those who are comfortable with each other can sit without speaking.’ – Nicholas Sparks
The type of woman who makes you want to be better.
When the right woman walks into a man’s life, he begins to reevaluate himself. Is he doing all he can to reach the goals he has set? Is he happy with the shape he is in? Are his priorities in the right order? This is not to say that a woman should be the sole source of motivation for a man, of course his drive should come from within and the desire to improve should be inherent, but the right woman can ignite reflection inside of him and make him take a closer look at how he is living his life.
The type of woman who makes you realize why it never worked out with anyone else.
We all have a past. We have all experienced heartbreak, we have broken up with others and had them break up with us. We have laughed and cried and had to move on from relationships we may have never thought would end – but when a woman who is truly right for you comes into your life, she will open your eyes to things you may not have realized were lacking in previous relationships.
The type of woman who loves everything about you that the wrong women took for granted.
Not everyone will appreciate your kindness, your giving nature, or your selflessness. This goes for men, women, intimate relationships, family, friendships, everyone. The fact is that some people just will not appreciate you for you – but the right person will.
The type of woman who respects those who are important to you.
I always remember my parents saying when I was growing up – “when you marry someone, you don’t just marry them – you marry their whole family.” While this is more true in some situations than others, more than likely you will be around your partner’s family during holidays or special occasions at the very least – far more frequently at the most. While we cannot be expected to like every person we come in contact with, showing respect and courtesy to each other’s families, friends, and anyone important in lives is essential to making everyone happy in the long term.
The type of woman who supports your goals, passions, and dreams.
Not all of us are going to want the same things out of life. We may not understand why our significant other wants to set a Guinness World Record for the biggest bubblegum bubble ever blown or why they want to do whatever other crazy thing they want to do – but we will still support them. We will support them because we love them and want to see them happy, even if we do not share the same passions. The right woman will do this for you, as you do it for her.
The type of woman who you can actually envision a future with.
Dating has become so casual today that people are all about just living in the moment. Hooking up, taking things a day at a time, whatever happens happens. While this is all well and good for awhile or in younger ages, eventually most people will reach a point where they wonder exactly what they’ve been doing this whole time. While I don’t think any experience is a waste of time, per-say, I do think our time is better used building something that has the potential to last in the long term.
The type of woman whose values you share.
Perhaps one of the most important points of all – it doesn’t matter how attracted to each other you are or how well you get along, if you view the world from completely opposite ends of the spectrum, finding synergy within your relationship will be a constant challenge. For example, do you place the same importance on family? I have recently really began to understand the importance of being with someone who perhaps there was a similar upbringing, or at least an instilling of values as what you had. There is a big difference between making compromises for someone and having to change your entire view of the world. One can work out, the other likely cannot.
The type of woman who makes you happy.
Every single person reading this has a different image in their head of what happiness looks like. We all have different pasts, experiences, upbringings, and backgrounds. We are from different parts of the world and hold different ideals and expectations. But, we do all have one thing in common: We want to be happy.
Regardless of any mental checklist we may define in our heads, regardless of what sort of lists we read on the internet, regardless of where someone is from or what social class they are a member of, the most important thing we can ever ask for is that we are simply with someone who makes us happy. When two people find and feel this way about each other, I truly believe they will find a way to make things work. They will overcome the hard times and celebrate the good times. They will work through challenges together and come out the other side smiling bigger and stronger than before – because that’s what teams do.
When you find this type of woman, make sure you hold on to her. But if you do all of these things for her in return (as you should), you won’t have to worry about losing her, because she will be holding on to you, too.
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Cover/Top Photo Credit: Jean at DoubleTake Photography.