The Most Important Step To Finding The Right Person


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Sure, it’s true that not everybody wants to be in a relationship. Some people are perfectly content being single, and it is more than possible to live a fully satisfying life by staying that way. But the fact of the matter is I still believe the majority of people would at least welcome the idea of coming across a man or woman who they can see as an equal, a teammate, a lover, and a friend.


I believe this to be true because that is what my experience tells me. From the countless conversations I have had with both men and women, as well as personal experience, I can vouch for the idea that having the right person in your life enhances your experiences. They keep you smiling, they dull your pain, and they brighten your happiness.

There are a million different articles, videos, books, and pieces of media you can absorb in order to help find the right person for you [if that’s what you want], but there is one important step that needs to be taken before any of that will make a damn bit of difference:

You have to develop the belief that the right person for you is actually out there.

It doesn’t have to be a “soul mate.” It doesn’t even have to be “the one.” What we do have to keep the hope of, though, is that someone can be entirely right for you and will not lie to you, betray you, or intentionally hurt you.

Many times a relationship could end due to circumstances beyond our control. Life changes or maybe…maybe even just falling out of love. This is why it is always a risk to love – but no great reward comes without risk. No great happiness comes without putting it all on the line. But that is why, as they say, “fortune favors the bold.”

The problem arises though when we automatically assume this is what’s going to happen in every relationship. We assume that people are inherently selfish, or liars, or will walk away when times get tough. We assume the negatives before we even have a reason to. Before we know anything about them. Before we even learn their names.


If this is how we approach every new person we meet, it only stands to reason we will always find the faults. We will always find the shortcomings, the “I knew it’s,” and the “I told you so’s.” We have to look into our own hearts and understand that we are not the only person in the world who wants to love someone else. We have to realize we are not the only one willing to sacrifice, willing to be honest, willing to be committed – to the right person.

And when we do that, but only when we do that, will we be open to the possibility of the right one actually being out there. And that is the first step along the journey to having them enter our lives. It does not mean you have to go out and scour the streets, it doesn’t mean you have to talk to every person next to you in line at the coffee shop, it doesn’t even mean you have to literally “find” them. It just means you have to open your heart to the reality of them existing.

Sometimes the best people are the ones who come into your life by accident, but stay on purpose. They might just come out of nowhere. Will you be ready when they do?


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  1. sewloveable on December 16, 2014 at 10:24 pm

    Reblogged this on sewloveable and commented:
    Such a great article.

  2. antonioschaffer on December 17, 2014 at 1:04 am

    Reblogged this on antonioschaffer.

  3. decidedlydoomed on December 17, 2014 at 7:26 am

    Reblogged this on Edudated and commented:
    An oft overlooked part of finding a partner: believing they exist

  4. AFruitFli on December 17, 2014 at 11:06 am

    Reblogged this on AFruitFli's Blog and commented:
    “fortune favors the bold”

  5. Jaketanakkarakter on July 4, 2015 at 2:13 am

    I like this article

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