7 Things That Make A Woman Sexy


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The word “sexy” in modern day society has often become synonymous with the matched drum-beats and stiletto steps made famous by Victoria’s Secret advertisements. While that is sexy, it is a very ‘high level’ approach to what the word really means. Meaning, we see it from afar, but don’t get into the details of it.


Many of you may have clicked on this article expecting to see a list consisting of amazing legs, a great smile, chiseled abs, and a tan…But what society tells you is sexy on the surface is often a small piece of the whole puzzle, if it’s a piece of it at all. But the first thing we need to do, is get rid of this damaging perception that only women who look like airbrushed magazine advertisements are sexy.

There is so much more to it than that.

So, for those of us who live in the real world, what makes a woman sexy?


Confidence is key. Being ‘perfect,’ is not. A strong, purposeful walk, head held high, eye contact, and a wide, welcoming smile – go a long way.

Confidence breeds more than just a strong presence or attraction, it’s the foundation for a strong life. Success, whatever that means to you. The ability to go after what you want, which is also sexy.In other words…


Ambition gives a woman a purpose, a drive, a direction in life. Ambition is sexy because a man who has his own goals can see her as a partner, a teammate, someone he can take on the world with – and that’s how a relationship should be.



Passion for life. Passion for another person. Passion for an interest, a hobby, art, music, anything that drives you. To see a woman in her element and truly loving what she is doing, is sexy.


To treat others with kindness is an disappointingly rare quality in modern society. Taking a few moments to go out of your way to talk to someone, showing compassion to another member of the human race, regardless of who they are or where they’re from shows heart, and a level of depth that could never be made up for by a beautiful exterior.


When a woman is genuinely herself and doesn’t change for anyone, it displays many of the above qualities all together. It also shows that she has enough respect for you to be sup front with you and not hide anything.

How long will you stay in a committed relationship with a beautiful or handsome liar? If you cannot trust your partner or believe what they say, how can you construct a solid, lasting foundation with them? You can’t.



I’ve said it before, and I will say it again. Class has nothing to do with the price tag on your outfit. Class is about the dignity you carry yourself with and the level of respect you show to those around you.

It doesn’t matter what kind of car someone is driving, what part of town they live in, or what brand of clothing they’re wearing – if they have an ugly attitude and embarrass others in public, none of it matters.


There is no denying that someone’s looks are what initially draws us to them. It’s difficult to spot a great personality from across the room. Many a fling was built on physical attraction alone, but how long can it last?

When conversations lack depth or intrigue, we often fill our time with physical activity together, but it is impossible to build a real connection or lasting relationship with someone on that alone. Being intellectually challenging and having the ability to hold real discussions about meaningful topics, will always trump shallow beauty in the long run.


There is nothing wrong with putting value on your appearance and that of your partner – we all do it. I know I do. Physical attraction is the fundamental starting point of essentially any relationship – but if that is the only glue bonding the two of you together, it will quickly weaken and break apart. The flame may burn strongly – but briefly.

You don’t have to win the lottery in the gene pool to be sexy. We may not be able to decide the cards that are dealt to us, but we can decide how we play our hand.

Choose wisely.

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  1. a wilder grace on December 10, 2014 at 3:18 pm

    I agree with just about everything you wrote in this article. I love your articles, have quoted you, shared your posts and even written some of my own posts from being inspired by your posts.

    And I have noticed that nearly all of your articles are accompanied by those same “matched drum-beats and stiletto steps made famous by Victoria’s Secret advertisements” type of photos of women. They are perfect, beautiful, young, skinny, dressed to the proverbial nines, etc.

    Being a blog writer myself, I do understand that those type of photos are what come up when you search for specific subjects/photos to go with specific posts. And am I also “guilty” of the same thing at times? Yes.

    I also know that “normal” women like myself would LOVE to see “normal/average” women in your posts – in all posts, actually – in all blogs everywhere.

    And yes, I know those type of “perfect” photos get a man’s attention, b/c yes, men are very visually oriented. I have had this same conversation with other men who write blogs for men, and I know that the “perfect” photos of women, as opposed to photos of “normal” women, have the possibility of alienating your women readers, which may or may not be a concern for you. (?)

    So I’m having a bit of a hard time swallowing your article and feeling that you’re authentic in this post, considering the photos that are usually in your blogs, even though the photos in this specific blog are not so “matched drum-beats and stiletto steps made famous by Victoria’s Secret advertisements” type of photos.

    Maybe if I saw more “normal” women, men, etc. in your photos in most of your blog posts, I would feel more able (willing?) to believe you?

    Just sayin…

    • James Michael Sama on December 10, 2014 at 3:22 pm

      While I can respect and understand your perspective, I would hope by now that nearly 500 articles which all have very consistent messages, as well as constant social media posts every single day for the past year and a half – do more than enough to outweigh aesthetically pleasing imagery used in my articles.

      If the way I live my life, conduct myself around others, treat people who both agree and disagree with my articles, as well as how I consistently encourage the presence of love and respect in my articles – doesn’t make me believable, then I’m not sure if changing the types of photos I use for strictly visual purposes would do the trick either. :/

  2. Angela on December 10, 2014 at 4:40 pm

    The very same traits are also what makes a man sexy, and confidence is at the top. However, what too many men fail to realize is there’s a fine line between confident and cocky and being cocky is NOT sexy!

  3. anonymousannaxo on January 5, 2015 at 7:41 pm

    I loved this post! I really enjoy your blog.

  4. bek on March 28, 2015 at 2:48 am

    Hi james, I really like your posts to:)
    They are inspiring and helped bring me back down to earth regarding the way I view love relationships and the possibilities of being with someone for more than what physical attributes, I as a woman, may or may not possess.
    Reading your posts has helped me build my confidence to:) I have really struggled with overcoming the belief that no matter my accomplishments, strengths of character or virtue of any kind.. It would mean nothing to any man because I’m not aesthetically pleasing enough.. I’m not ugly.. But not perfect enough.
    What the lady at the top was saying.. A wilder grace.. Well I somewhat agree..
    I don’t own a website myself so am not aiming to give advice, only my point of view as a woman who deeply struggles with the notion that appearances are what matter most For men.. How could any man feel it’s beneficial to be with me when he sees images of such perfectly formed women everywhere.. I feel like I could never compare..
    It’s not the media’s fault.. It’s mine for not being enough.
    Your post on why a good man won’t cheat was very validating and uplifting:) thankyou

  5. bek on March 28, 2015 at 3:06 am

    Can’t older women be aesthetically pleasing? Women that are thick and women that are fat or even really tiny and thin although this is already the excepted standard of beauty already.. women with assymetrical Or small breasts not of the standard shape I seem to see in advertisements.. I see larger women everywhere I think are very beautiful.. But judged as ugly.. Sometimes that’s their natural shape and they are valuable, beautiful, feminine beings.. But told by many, they are absolutely not and cannot be deemed as such untill they learn to take up less space.
    Is this what they call a ‘rant’ lol apologies.. Im frustrated though.

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  10. Anand M on December 9, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    all these things – but also a sense of humour, fun, lightness

    I would echo first comment on images though. tricky if you are trying to reach across to new audiences, not just preaching to the converted, but it does have a subtle impact…

    Don’t take it as criticism, but as a helpful challenge..?

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