8 Reasons It’s Okay To Be Single


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I find often times the perception in society is that if you’re single, you’re unhappy – and if you’re in a relationship, you’re automatically happy. Given how many people live fulfilling single lives and how many people settle into the wrong relationships, this is not always the case.

Here are 8 reasons it’s totally okay to be single.


1. It shows you don’t lower your standards.

Many people think that if you’re single, it means you can’t find someone. But, in reality it’s smarter to wait for the right person to come along than it is to settle for all of the wrong ones. Give yourself a pat on the back for committing to this and recognizing what you deserve.

2. It gives you time to learn about yourself.

The most important relationship you’ll ever have is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be. Often times “serial monogamists” have a difficult time finding a long term healthy relationship because their identity has always been tied to another person.

It is difficult to find a happy, healthy relationship if you have not taken the time to really define what that means to you. How will you recognize it when it comes along?

3. It gives you time to learn about other people.

Sometimes the easiest way to spot the right person is among a crowd of the wrong ones. When you have the time and the freedom to date other people, you can prepare a mental checklist of what you do and don’t want in a partner.

No dating experience is ever a waste of time. If it didn’t bring you what you wanted, it showed you what you don’t want.


4. You have less ex-drama.

Negative relationships don’t always just…end. Sometimes you will stay in touch with someone you shouldn’t have even been with in the first place, or you carry emotional baggage into your next relationship from the bad experiences you had – this helps nobody. There is no use in settling into the wrong relationship which could potentially sabotage what could have been the right one.

5. You can work on yourself.

Along with the above point to learn about yourself, you can also work on yourself. The harsh reality is that you could find the perfect person, but if they’re not interested in you, that will feel even worse.

Of course you should always improve yourself, single or not, but being single helps you focus on what will be best for you and allow you the freedom to fully commit to your goals. This way, when the person you want to be with comes along, you will be ready to receive them.

6. Travel.

Hell, don’t just travel, move somewhere new if you want. Learning more about the world helps us learn more about ourselves. I understand (better than anyone) that family and other obligations can keep you from moving, it’s not just about being in a relationship – but if you have the support from those around you, take a summer in Europe or move across the country.

These things will allow you to develop and discover, and, you might just find your match during your journey.


7. Discover your passions.

Want to try something new or out of the ordinary? When you’re single, you can do whatever you want, whenever you want. Sure, when you’re in a healthy relationship you can do these things together too – but if you find a partner who doesn’t enjoy the same hobbies, you may feel limited.

This is two fold, you can go out and do what you want, and you have a higher likelihood of finding someone who shares your interests. It’s a win/win!

8. You’ll never feel trapped.

I talk to a lot of people who feel as though they are in a negative relationship but are unable to leave for one reason or another. This, in my opinion, is far worse than being single. Fight through the lonely times, love you for you, and you’ll never accept a situation you wouldn’t want to be in.

Someone who is worthy of your love will never put you in a situation where you feel you must sacrifice your dignity, your integrity, or your self-respect to be with them.

A great relationship will never hinder you or your individual life – it will enhance it. But, it takes time to find that great relationship, and you should never feel bad about waiting for it.

You don’t “find” love, love finds you when you go out into the world and begin chasing after your passions – so start chasing.

Click here to get my new e-book, The Modern Man’s Guide To Chivalry And Courtship!



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  1. AFruitFli on November 25, 2014 at 10:32 am

    Reblogged this on AFruitFli's Blog.

  2. howyoucanfindloveDon on November 25, 2014 at 1:17 pm

    The best thing for being single to me was the chance I got to learn about myself and to see what I really enjoyed doing and what I didn’t. Before I was just going along for the ride if that makes sense. I got to work on myself, be more outgoing and sure of who I was and am.

  3. […] Nov 25, 2014Genuine Singlesdatingbeing single, marriage, settle down Anyone thats been long term single will know how annoying THAT question can be: ‘When are you going to settled down?’   Ive spent three years ticking the single status box on forms ……and to be honest I like it.  The dating scene has giving me some great stories to share with friends, some of which made us cry with laughter and some that make me cringe even today.    My single status has been enlightening to say the least, Ive had experiences that I wouldn’t have had in a committed relationship. Being ‘Single’ has developed my sense of ‘Self’ which in turn has changed me in many ways (most for the better).    Things like holidays have had to be taken with the single supplement –  most of my friends are mainly married with children and can’t get a free week anymore…but thats not my worry, so the holidays keep getting booked. Its daunting at first; that walk out of the hotel onto foreign pavements feels awkward, as if everyone in the street knows you on holiday alone. It only takes a few minutes for this feeling to subside and an over whelming sense of ‘freedom’ to take its place.    For example: My last holiday alone was to Kitzbuhel in Austria, I spent 3 waking hours alone the whole week! The ski classes ended up rolling into beers…which in turn developed new friendships. I never felt ‘lonely’ just excited about the shared ski experiences we were having.    Being SINGLE has given me the ability to plan my life for me, to be a little bit selfish and do things I want to do regardless of who’s around at the time.    So although the warmth of a great relationship pulls me like a magnet towards the RIGHT guy I’m not giving my status up without a fight.   http://jamesmsama.com/2014/11/25/8-reasons-its-okay-to-be-single-2/ […]

  4. Matt on November 25, 2014 at 10:13 pm

    Im having an amazing time being single…I had so many goals I put off, and Im finally starting to accomplish them. Ive been on several dates and its been an eye opener…each time learning a little bit more about me.

  5. edith on September 7, 2017 at 12:31 am

    Being a single is happy and enjoyable. Never chase any man who is not worth of your intigrity and dignity let’s love find you and not you find the love…. this is me now…. if someone truly love me he will be with me no matter what…Period!

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