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One Easy Way To Know You’re With The Right Person

FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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More often than I like to see, I get people commenting on my articles and Facebook page(s) referencing some sort of negative stigmas towards relationships in general. Just earlier today one woman was saying that she has new-found freedom and self love since she has become single.

While, of course, the single life lends it to a certain air of carefree whimsy, I certainly do not think that being single is the only way to obtain such freedom. Furthermore, I do not think being in a relationship requires you to lose it.

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I find this to be a widespread issue both among my peers in my generation, and spread over multiple age groups. There is a negative stigma that surrounds the idea of a relationship in general.

Relationships hold you back from your dreams. Relationships keep you from pursuing your goals. Relationships derail you from your career path. Relationships take away your freedom.

Stop it. Just…stop it right now.

What we should be doing is inserting “The wrong” before each one of those sentences. Because the truth is that the right relationship with the right person will do the exact opposite.

The right relationship will never dim your light – but fuel it to shine brighter. You will laugh louder, love deeper, smile bigger, and feel as though you are being lifted by balloons, not weighted by an anchor.

I believe that if you are with the right person, you should never feel as though you lose yourself or your identity. Sure, we can be motivated to change and improve and become better, but this is not the same thing as forgetting who you are in order to constantly appease someone or keep them happy. Often times people do this because they are afraid of losing their partner. In reality, the real tragedy is losing themselves by trying to keep someone else around who doesn’t truly appreciate who you are.

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Someone who loves you will never try to change you. They will not weigh you down, discourage you, or make you feel as though you do not deserve the world. They will stand in front of you when you need protection, beside you when you need a teammate, and behind you when you need support. They will never leave you hanging in a time of need and they will never drain your morale or spirit.

If you do find that the person you are giving your time to is having these negative effects on your life, then it is time to take a step back and re-evaluate exactly why you are with them. Are you consistently giving and putting in effort, but notice that they are not? Are you always adjusting and making sacrifices while their opinions and desires run rampant? These are not only clear warning signs of a one sided relationship, but one that may be toxic as well.

So, what is this “one easy” way to tell you’re with the right person that I promised in the title of this article? All of these points amount to one thing:

The right person will enhance your life, not complicate your life.

Your thoughts should be happier, your smiles should last longer, your pains should be lessened because you now have someone who is willing to share your burdens to lighten the load.

If you are in a relationship or seeing someone new and do not feel like their presence in your life brings you these joys, they are likely not for you. This does not mean they are a bad person, simply that it is just not a match. But what we can’t do, is experience this a few times and therefore conclude that all relationships will bring you down. It takes time, resilience, and effort to find the right person.

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Perhaps the most cliche statement of them all holds true when it comes to finding the right person for you: When you know, you just know.

Click here to get my new e-book, The Gentleman’s Advantage!

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8 Comments

  1. Kate Elliott on November 20, 2014 at 6:49 pm

    Here’s to us & our relationship babe. Another good one…

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

  2. christal93blog on November 20, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    I agree with you :). I’ve heard so many people say similar things to what the women on Facebook said, and alot of people in my generation and age group thinks relationship ties you down and when really and truly, it should’t, and if it is, then they definitely haven’t found the right person or should take and step back and re-evaluate as you said.

  3. christal93blog on November 20, 2014 at 8:51 pm

    Reblogged this on That Random Girl- Daily.

  4. Natalie on November 20, 2014 at 9:43 pm

    I agree with you, my last relationship I felt I was being held back, I couldn’t do what I wanted and my ex wasn’t the right guy for me. The guy I am with now we have been dating for a year and a half and honestly he pushes me to achieve my goals and dreams. He comforts me when I need someone to talk to on my bad days and than he motivates me to do more, to work hard for my career goals. With him I no longer feel trapped in a relationship I feel relieved having him by my side, he is my lover, partner and teammate in life. He understands my ambition and why I have goals. The right relationship is all the above, you just have to realize the person who you are with maybe a good person but not “the” person for you.

  5. leahrennes on November 21, 2014 at 3:07 am

    I wholeheartedly agree, my David has definitely been my best friend and has changed my life for the best.

  6. dmcco01 on November 21, 2014 at 8:22 am

    Thank you. I hope I can find this person soon!

  7. junie136 on November 22, 2014 at 6:05 pm

    What about when you want to marry the person but they keep delaying it until it’s a date “just right” for them? That has been hurtful.

  8. Kangaroo on September 6, 2015 at 1:58 am

    After having been married for fifteen years, I began to realize he was the wrong man. That he was the wrong man since the beginning but I couldn’t see it then because of my inexperience with men and dating and life in general. I am older and wiser and know who I am and what I need in my life to make me happy, finally. However it is too late for me. I am married. And to an abusive man who disrespects me and yells and terrorizes me, in front of my ten year old daughter. This is not a good example for her to see. But I am very ill physically and need him to buy my medicine. I am unable to leave him because I cannot get a job to support my daughter. So a court would decide that he would get to keep our daughter. I would die without her. Sure, she would be able to remain in the lap of luxury with all the money she could ever want, and international vacations and fancy schools, and living in a palace of a home, but she would not have a loving parent who watches over her and teaches her how to be a smart and kind and generous and loving woman and how to stand up for herself. He is starting to do to her what he does to me. I could not take her and run. Besides the fact that I need my medicine to function, I couldn’t force her to leave her friends and luxurious home and school to live in a homeless shelter for God only knows how long. She tells me to divorce him. But I don’t have one cent to my name. For all his money and BMWs and private airplanes, I don’t even get an allowance. I have nothing. And he monitors every cent in his bank accounts. How would I be able to pay a lawyer? I am dependent on my husband for my life and the life of my precious daughter.
    How is that for too late?

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FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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