As to be expected, if an article outlining lies that men should stop telling women is written, it won’t take long for requests to come in for an article about lies women tell men. Because let’s be honest, men are not the only ones who lie.
Lies are not gender-specific. Of course, some of the points in the men’s article apply to women as well. But what is also true is that there are certain statements that seem to be more heavily distributed in one direction or the other.
Here are a few less-than-true statements that men would genuinely appreciate women using less often.
“I don’t usually do this.”
A phrase most often uttered by women who…usually do this. Whatever ‘this’ is, unless you genuinely show a man that he is an exception to your personal rules – which would likely entail ending up or already being in a relationship with him – he most likely will smile and nod when he hears you say these words, but know in reality you are probably slightly exaggerating. At best.
“Whatever you want is fine.”
This translates into: “You better understand what I want and then do that.”
But all jokes aside, if you have a preference or want/need/desire, then tell him. If we ask what you want we legitimately want to know so we can do what it takes to make you happy.
“I’m not looking for anything serious.”
If you are, don’t tell him you’re not. I understand that you don’t want to come across as needy or scare him away, but if he’s not looking for something serious then he’s not the right guy for you, anyway. And if he is, but you tell him you’re not (when you really are), then you run a very high risk of him ending up with someone else, and then kicking yourself.
When it comes to what both parties want out of a situation, it is always best to be open and honest from the get-go. This goes for men and women.
Wanting or needing his help.
This is a big one in the age of the independent woman. Women don’t want to come across as needy or dependent on a man. They certainly don’t want to seem like they can’t (or don’t want to) do something themselves. But here’s the catch – we don’t mind. In fact, we enjoy being able to help you.
Men actually want to do small things for you, whether it is opening that jar or lifting the heavy object. It makes us feel wanted, needed, and useful. We completely understand it doesn’t make you any less of a strong or independent woman. All of us could use an extra hand now and then.
“I don’t mind if you look at other women.”
Regardless of whether or not you understand that men naturally still glance now and then at another woman even when they are in a relationship, it’s understandable to be bothered by it. Any man who respects the woman in his life will either not bother looking or be as discreet as possible. I, for one, don’t have much interest in looking at other women when I am with somebody I truly care about, but I would expect it to bother her at least a little if I did.
“The sex is great.”
This is a big one for men, because we are more than willing to do basically whatever you want (some of us have higher limits than others…) when it comes to satisfying you. If you are not satisfied in the bedroom, please be honest about it and tell us what we can do better.
A man who is in touch with you emotionally and physically will take the time and put in the effort to learn what you do and don’t like without you having to guide him, but no man will complain about learning how to please you more effectively.
“You don’t have to get me anything.”
Always get her something! This is a trap!
“I’m just not ready for a relationship right now.”
If this is true, then great – but I have heard many stories about a woman saying this to a man just a few days before he finds out that she is seeing somebody.
Lying to a man about why you don’t want to be with him will hurt his feelings worse when he finds out the truth, instead of just being honest with him from the beginning. He may not like it any more, but at least he will know you were up front with him and can begin moving on sooner without the shock of finding out the hard way.
“I’m not mad at all.”
Yes you are.
“You’re the perfect guy.”
I know…I know…just not the perfect guy for you, right? This line plagues men everywhere. We have all heard it, and none of us can understand it. If a man is the perfect guy, then why would a woman not want to be with him? You don’t ‘friend zone’ perfect men, you go out with them and learn more about them.
Yes, I know nobody is perfect – which just makes it worse. If a man needs to improve upon something in order to be better with women, go ahead and give him some insight. If he is mature enough, he will appreciate the feedback and work to better himself in order to attract the kind of woman he wants to be with.
“Everything is fine.”
Every time a woman tells a man everything is fine, a small child somewhere in the world drops their ice cream cone. Thanks to the movie The Italian Job, we all know what ‘fine’ really means:
Freaked out, Insecure, Neurotic, and Emotional.
If something is not fine, we need to know that it’s not fine. We need to know what we can do (or not do) in order to solve a problem or make a relationship stronger. Thomas Lee Massey summed it up nicely by saying: “When something is wrong and they say nothing is wrong. Be honest and talk with your significant other. If you can’t communicate to them and depend on them to be a go to person for you then there will never be a large amount of trust in the relationship.”
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