7 Ways To Make Your Man Feel Appreciated


Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Untitled design (24)


Contrary to popular belief, there are still good men out there. You might even be dating one. He might even follow the 10 Ways To Make Your Girl Feel Special.

If he is a true gentleman, he will do all of these things, and more, without expectation of anything in return. Your happiness is his reward. That being said, though – a basic human need for all people is to feel wanted and appreciated, especially in relationships, and especially when they perform selfless acts for others.

If you do have a good man, it’s important to let him know that what he does for you, matters. Even if it’s just in small ways. Here are some suggestions, in no particular order.


1. Pick up the tab.

Anyone who reads my articles knows that I believe a man should always pay for dates. Not just the first date, but all dates. It’s just the way I was raised and it’s what I practice in my daily life. However, if your guy is always treating you to nice dinners, or if you’re on vacation, and you slip your card to the waiter without him noticing, he won’t hate it.

It will show him that you appreciate the things he does for you and that you’re willing to take care of him every once in awhile, too.


2. Dinner at home, after a long day.

A few months ago, I was interviewed on a podcast in the UK about chivalry in modern relationships. One of the things I was asked was, “How can women be chivalrous too?” An example I gave was that it’s easy and inexpensive to have dinner and some wine waiting for your man when he gets home after a long day.

It will completely free him of any stress from the day – and you don’t even have to be a good cook. Just pick up the phone for take out.


3. Do your nails.

This one might seem a little weird, but hear me out. Often times in relationships, you get comfortable. A lot of time is spent on the couch in sweats, and sometimes those are the best nights. But, it’s important to not let yourself go. Make sure he knows you still want to look good for him by paying attention to the little details. (He should do the same, of course).



4. In the bedroom.

I have always believed (and practiced) that a woman’s needs come first in the bedroom (no pun intended) absolutely every time, no exception. Just make sure that your man doesn’t get forgotten or deprived in the process. It’s a team sport.


5. Show him he’s a priority.

We all have busy lives. Friends, family, work…things can get crazy. It’s unrealistic to put a significant other before all of these things all the time – but make sure you include him where you can, and don’t let him feel boxed out, shuffled to the bottom of the deck, or unwanted if you get too busy.


6. Be affectionate.

As simple as this one is, it is often overlooked. Small things like hand-holding, walking arm in arm with him, or resting your head on his shoulder (or chest if you’re laying down) make him feel like he’s one with you, and protecting you from harm – something all good men should want to do.



7. Tell him.

If you appreciate what he does for you, tell him.

Relationships, and romance, are a two way street. A good man will give all he can to you and never ask for anything in return. However, that doesn’t mean that a woman shouldn’t take small steps to show him that what he does makes an impact on her life, and she cherishes having him in it.

A little bit goes a long way.

Did you enjoy this article? Enter your email here to be notified when new content is published!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.


Click here to get my new e-book, The Gentleman’s Advantage!

Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> [twitter-follow screen_name=’JamesMSama’]

Click here to join the discussion on Facebook.

Click here for the New Chivalry Movement.


  1. BK on November 5, 2013 at 2:14 pm

    #6 goes a long way for me. Really the ONLY one of those I need to feel appreciated.

    • A on January 8, 2015 at 7:29 am

      What is something I can do if he’s not a touch kind of guy? Seriously, like hand holding and any kind of touching is pretty much off limits.

  2. […] 7 Ways To Make Your Man Feel Appreciated (jamesmsama.wordpress.com) […]

  3. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  4. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  5. LUCKY ME | Underneath Her Clothes on November 18, 2013 at 1:54 am

    […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  6. RT on November 18, 2013 at 9:28 pm

    Not so sure about #1 there. My man’s pretty chivalrous and every time I’ve tried it wanting to give back a bit he gets upset and sulks about it for days. I still try though occasionally for small things.

  7. Al Buterol on November 19, 2013 at 2:36 am

    But mainly, blow jays.

    • CainTheConqueror on November 21, 2013 at 9:31 am

      *nods head. Sound advice, you must be a professional couples therapist. Listen to him ladies.

    • Dudon on January 7, 2014 at 8:46 pm

      Blow jays definitely. How come it’s not included in the list? lol

  8. […] Now, find out the 10 Ways To Know Your Girl Is A Keeper. […]

  9. KB on November 20, 2013 at 5:34 am

    1 & 2 aren’t bad, assuming that (a) the guy doesn’t get offended if she tries to pay for dinner (a lot actually do), and (b) she gets home from work before he does. 4-7 seem like general common sense advice for a good relationship for either men or women.

    #3 is the bizarre one, however. A LOT of women, myself included, don’t “do their nails” (or wear makeup) to begin with, so this one comes across as strange. Is the author trying to suggest that we start doing our nails (or wearing makeup) to make our men feel appreciated? If so, that leads to the question of whether the author thinks women need to wear makeup and do their nails to “look good.” I have met some people who think that way, but it’s generally been either older women, insecure guys, or someone trying to sell me something (usually makeup). Most men I’ve met don’t seem to really notice or care either way (unless the woman takes too long getting ready) and a few, my SO among them, prefer women without makeup at all. The only other interpretation I can come up with is to keep up with basic hygiene (bathing, brushing teeth, etc), which again, is just general common sense. /shrug

    • Amaliah Cunningham on November 20, 2013 at 6:21 pm

      Well you obviously missed the mark with #3 or just did not read it. He clearly says ” it’s important to not let yourself go. Make sure he knows you still want to look good for him”. ‘Do your nails’ is a metaphor for pay attention to how you look, not necessarily make up and literal nails. Read the full article and analyse it before you complain to such drastic extents over 3 words that were clearly explained by the author.

      • KB on November 21, 2013 at 6:03 pm

        Easy there, tiger. I think you should consider the possibility that you’ve misinterpreted my post. It was very late at night when I wrote it, so perhaps it wasn’t as clear as it could have been, but I wasn’t complaining. I was genuinely curious about the author’s interpretation of “looking good” and “not letting yourself go.” I also related my own experiences with other people who have expressed a similar sentiment. There were actually 2 explicit questions (and an implied question) in my post. So, to avoid further confusion, let me try to explain/ask in a better way:

        First. Generally, when I’ve met people who say things like “Make sure he knows you still want to look good for him by paying attention to the little details” what they mean is that a woman should have a “beauty routine” that almost always consists of makeup, nails, hair styling, etc. In fact, many take it to the extreme that women who don’t have that routine do not look good. Here are the first 2 questions from my earlier post: (1) does the author think that women who don’t follow a beauty routine should start, and (2) does he then think that those same women don’t “look good” without it?

        Second. My implied question was: if the author doesn’t think women need a beauty routine to look good, what then are his ideas of “the little things” to keep up with? For that matter, what does that mean to you? When you’ve removed things like makeup, nails, hair dos, etc, there doesn’t seem to be many little things left.

        And third, my last sentence in my earlier post accounts for the possibility that I have entirely misinterpreted the author’s intent, and that he simply meant that women should keep up with basic hygiene.

        Wall of text is over, hopefully I cleared up my intent with my earlier post. 🙂

      • Marina on March 5, 2015 at 11:48 pm

        He means dont let yourslbes go i think its realy st es that take care your appereance e, body’s, weight, look, remember how You were when You both started the relashionship if You love your Self You take care your selves and that way You show that you care fo you and You are cap le To care for him. What You will feel if he Let Himself let go in weight, apareacnce, and small ? Girls it was simple state y” dont let yourslbes go” means dont gain 50 pound, use sweatpants,dont eh your haría and i mean all your hairs. Nd put some loción perfume no washingtonyoirself severo time. Dy

    • Abel on December 16, 2013 at 6:37 am

      I dnt knw you at all but that response was great!!!! I love and have an all natural woman.. I feel like if you have too wear it you are hiding something special!!! Show that beauty……

    • CJ on July 30, 2014 at 7:04 pm

      I think this one could simply mean “keep up appearances” or “look nice” or even “shave your legs.” It’s not nails or make-up themselves, it’s the simple act of being neat, clean and presentable. We all get comfortable in a relationship and take liberties that we didn’t when we were newly dating.

  10. […] If you do have these people in your life, make sure they know they are appreciated. […]

  11. Alex Cherry on November 20, 2013 at 11:09 am

    So two things.

    First, you DID forget gratuitous sexual acts, like oral sex, without a request of reciprocation. That really *IS* the best way. Seriously, all misogyny aside, men are highly sexual creatures, and we’re way simpler than you ladies tend to try to make us. You want to show me how much you appreciate me? Grill me a steak and give me a blow job. I’ll be bragging to my friends and coworkers for YEARS about it.

    Second, I really, really take offense to your statement that the woman comes first (no pun intended) EVERY TIME, no exceptions, in the bedroom. Why are your needs more important than mine? Do I not get to come first sometimes? That’s an incredibly sexist – and SELFISH – thing to say. We’re equals, right? A partnership of equals? Then I get to come first as often as you do – a relationship is give and take, after all.

    • S on November 21, 2013 at 5:48 am

      Women are generally capable of multiple orgasms while often men will orgasm, then stop. By making sure the woman comes first, you’re ensuring satisfaction on both ends. Also, are you an 18 year old frat boy? I’ll be bragging about steak and blow jobs for years!” Ugh.

      • cloverlifeblog on November 21, 2013 at 2:49 pm

        this reply needs a “like” button. well said 🙂

      • K on November 26, 2013 at 5:39 am

        To be fair to the lad I’m 21 and I’d be pretty chuffed with a nice rare steak and a blowjob, any bloke would.

        Men love to feel appreciated and made to feel attractive as well, when we are involved in sexual acts we feel like an Adonis, it’s a man thing, it’s who we are. Get over it.

    • twelve0one on January 10, 2014 at 4:19 am

      It’s obvious The Arthor does not feel that way (WE are equal). She stated in the beginning that she feels a man should always pay for dinner. However, I would assume she is down for Equal pay and Job placements for women. She sounds really sexist and tries to hide it under “chivery” most women of today do not feel that way..

      • James Michael Sama on January 10, 2014 at 12:26 pm

        Sorry but…what?

      • Lindsey DeLatte on January 30, 2014 at 1:56 am

        Nice try but a man wrote this article.

    • junie136 on September 4, 2014 at 1:58 am

      Got one down. Now I need to learn how to grill a good steak!

  12. From a Man’s Point of View | Savvy Sassy MomME on November 20, 2013 at 3:20 pm

    […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  13. […] 7 Ways To Make Your Man Feel Appreciated. […]

  14. Mountainstroh (Tony) on November 20, 2013 at 8:28 pm

    No argument here on any of these. But the guy shouldn’t let himself go either. Also, I’d sh the women should initiate bedroom activities as well, in the past I have has relationships where I always felt I had to ask.

  15. omg no on November 21, 2013 at 10:59 am

    Wow, this list sounds like it was written to tell girls what they want guys to want them to do.

    Don’t let yourself go = do your nails? How about, go to the gym and don’t get fat after you’re in a relationship?

    “Not forgetting” about your man is all thats needed to make him feel appreciated in bed? You gotta be shitting me.

    The only legit thing on this list is #2.

  16. cloverlifeblog on November 21, 2013 at 2:47 pm

    I’m curious about something…I have done all of these things in previous relationships, and my question is this…if you’re letting your man know that he is appreciated, and then he does something you’re not particularly happy about, how do you let him know without his taking it completely wrong, and extremely personally? I dated a guy once that I did all these things for him all the time, but when I was unhappy with something, I had to be a complete bitch about it, because if I calmly told him about something that bothered me, he would fly off the handle and act like I was telling him he was the worst boyfriend on the face of the planet. How do I keep this from happening again?

    • Andy on November 21, 2013 at 7:01 pm

      A good man wont fly off the handle when you speak of how you feel, unless your bringing up things from his past that you supposedly already forgave him for and actually didnt. No one likes to have to pay for things that have happened over and over again. Honesty is always the best policy. A good man would want to know if somethings bothering you, and makes steps to ease your feelings. If you tell a man how you feel and he “flys off the handle” then he doesnt really care about your feelings. And probably why your post says “dated a man once”. We guys are simple. If you act happy we think things are good, and if you dont act like everythings fine your man will do one of 2 things… step up or not care.

  17. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  18. dsantos85 on November 23, 2013 at 2:27 pm

    Reblogged this on twenty-somethings and commented:
    girls have to put in work too! it’s not just the man that has to do all the work.

  19. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  20. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  21. Apryl Red DeBord on December 2, 2013 at 11:13 pm

    YES! 😀 <3

  22. Freddie on December 3, 2013 at 6:12 pm

    Why in modern society should a man be forced to pay for his partner every time they go out? We’re not living in the 1950s here, and women often earn more than men. The man may still pay the majority but in contemporary equal society having a 60/40 split is totally normal, and most couples I know do this (unless the guy earns a lot more than she does)
    But the rest of them are ok, except for the bedroom one. Taking turns or just mixing things up is the way to go. You sound too routine. Are you a real person, or a combination ghost writer made up of many peoples ideal husbands, fathers, grandpas etc?

  23. LadyJsVoice on December 12, 2013 at 7:16 pm

    I really enjoyed this because women tend to take for granted that men have feelings too and they want to be appreciated just like we do. The better we make them feel hopefully the better they’ll make us feel and then we’ll have a feel good circle.

  24. […] 10 Ways to Know You’re Dating a True Gentleman by James Michael Sama […]

  25. […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  26. Elizabeth Kelly on February 20, 2014 at 6:32 pm

    I’ve been in a relationship with the same man for almost 12 years now and I have found little things work the best for him. I pay anyway for meals when we go out because he tends to lose money as he puts it in his pockets so I keep the money. We’ve switched spots for the last few years; I work and he stays home with the kids. I wash dishes sometimes if I get to them before he does. I do the laundry. I do try to do my nails when I am not exhausted and when he notices, he does say something about it but that’s more for me than him, I think. I’ll itch his scalp sometimes or scratch his back. I think the best thing that I can think of that I do is when we are watching tv in bed, or just relaxing, I’ll rub his back for a while till either he or I will fall asleep. I have found that the smallest things will let him know that I still love and appreciate him.

    • James Michael Sama on February 20, 2014 at 6:34 pm

      That’s great to hear Elizabeth! Congratulations on your long term success. 🙂

      It really is the little things, especially over time, that make the difference. Grand gestures for holidays and special occasions are great but they are typically planned and expected.

      The little things for no reason are the actions that truly display your love for someone.

      All the best,

      – JMS

  27. kd on February 21, 2014 at 3:31 pm

    I think one of the most important things you can do is say “Thank you” . I thank my husband of 26 yrs whether it be for taking out the trash, cooking dinner, or for working hard for his family. It makes him feel appreciated and he knows that I appreciate him & his hard work. And it goes both ways he thanks me as well.

  28. » How To Be A True Gentleman on February 24, 2014 at 1:10 pm

    […] If you do have one of these men in your life, make sure he knows he is appreciated. […]

  29. […] 7 Ways To Make Your Man Feel Appreciated | James Michael Sama […]

  30. Che Telly on June 26, 2014 at 4:16 pm

    I’m all about doing nice things for my boyfriend. But I’m curious to know your opinions on why it’s the woman who’s needs come first in the bedroom? I though sex was a shared act among two partners in love? Shouldn’t both sexual needs be equal? And I’m also curious to know your thoughts on why you think the man should almost always pay for dinner? Sorry I’m just sorta confused lol id like to hear your side of it.

    • James Michael Sama on June 26, 2014 at 4:24 pm

      Hey Che!

      My opinion about the woman’s needs in the bedroom has always sort of been natural for me. I can’t really give any reasoning or process through which it was formed – I’ve just always been more of the “giving” type in this area.

      Now, if we want to get a little bit more in-depth and stereotypical about it, as we all know, men react biologically to what we will call the curtain coming down at the end of the show – than women do. Men get tired and from stories I’ve heard from women, less likely to want to continue even if she hasn’t yet been satisfied.

      If a man tends to a woman’s needs, wants, and desires before his own, he will be more enthusiastic during the entire process.

      I also credit my upbringing for my opinion regarding men paying for dinner. I don’t think it has anything to do with equality or any specific purpose, to me it’s just a great way for a man to show a woman that he is willing to treat her to nice experiences and show her he loves and values her.

      There are plenty of other ways for her to do this in return, some of which are outlined in this article. 🙂

      I hope this helps!

      – James

  31. surfercajun on June 27, 2014 at 2:31 pm

    seems like the older movies have it right… there have been more than one time in which a *lady* is know by her hands and feet… taking care of them selves is first and foremost. She puts herself first so that she can take care of everyone else… to me.. when I look good I treat my family the best! Happy Friday… great points… even have my fingernails and toes done too! :o)

  32. seo tools vps on September 21, 2014 at 9:00 am

    I relish, result in I found just what I was taking a look
    for. You’ve ended my four day long hunt! God Bless you man. Have a great day.

  33. Lea on January 12, 2016 at 6:07 pm

    IDIOTIC! I am sorry but the man shouldn’t have to pay every meal. 50/50 is fair. It is 2016 for crying out loud.

  34. ROSIE on September 28, 2017 at 4:38 am
  35. […] addition, do you seek the right words to say to him to make him feel appreciated and to keep him thinking about you for the rest of the […]

Leave a Reply

Website Stats

  • 39,195,765 Total Visitors


Download your free Ebook 15 Ways to Know You're Dating a Gentleman


This error message is only visible to WordPress admins

Error: No feed found.

Please go to the Instagram Feed settings page to create a feed.


Please enter a valid email address.
Something went wrong. Please check your entries and try again.
Untitled design (24)
%d bloggers like this: