In most of my articles I talk about what to do in order to be a better version of ourselves as well as what to do in order to be a better teammate in a relationship, or to attract a better teammate to us.
In some cases though, like when discussion 8 things happy couples don’t do, or 8 ways men push women away, it is equally as important to identify things we shouldn’t be doing, as it is to talk about things we should be.
Since I try to keep things even on here, I think it’s time to bring up a few things that women can minimize in order to become more attractive to men. Here are five things that turn men off. It’s only fair, ladies.
Being exceedingly negative about her appearance.
Men enjoy giving women compliments and making them feel good about themselves. When we say something to a woman we care about, we genuinely mean it (obviously excluding internet creepers and cat-callers). I mean when we look you in the eye and do our best to communicate how much feeling we are putting behind this particular statement.
When women brush off these compliments as if they are meaningless or reply with “no I look terrible today” or something to that effect, it, over time, takes away the enjoyment of giving you compliments and eventually makes us ask ourselves if our small efforts are being appreciated.
I understand women do not always feel beautiful and may be uncomfortable accepting a compliment, but a simple “thank you” with a smile will likely make both of you feel better.
Being too needy.
Men want to be wanted, don’t get me wrong. We want to feel desired and that a woman is attracted to us – but just like neediness is a turn-off for women, the same goes for men.
Not sure what neediness looks like? Being over-protective or jealous of any time not spent with you, needing to constantly be validated by him (which only shows him that you require validation from others and are not able to find it within you) or essentially revolving your entire life around him – showing a lack of independence which he likely desires you to have.
Again, being wanted is a positive – being needed in order to remain the source of someone’s happiness or self-worth, is not.
Being too one-dimensional.
I, for one, am drawn to stylish women who enjoy fashion – but that does not mean I would want to be with a woman who only wants to talk about the latest shoes she got (for example) and has no interest in world issues or current events.
Regardless of how great she looks or what other interests we may share, a mature man who wants a serious relationship is going to crave meaningful intellectual conversations as well as an emotional connection. If it is not present, eventually she will be unable to keep his attention in the long term. I discuss this in further detail in a recent article about depth.
We all have our own interests that are not inherently deep or meaningful, and are just things we enjoy because we enjoy them. There is nothing wrong with this – but there is a profound importance to being well rounded.
Complaining too often.
While I try to keep my complaining to an absolute minimum, I understand we all have a tendency to do it. But there are some people who go a little overboard…complaining about traffic. Complaining about parking. Complaining about someone at work. Complaining about something just to complain about it.
As I mentioned, it’s natural to complain. Not everything can be great all of the time and complaining is often a way to remedy a situation – but when it is done excessively or causes unnecessary tension or stress, then it needs to be acknowledged and worked on.
Painting men in a negative light.
I cannot stress the importance of this enough. I could come across Adriana Lima on a dating website and if her profile said something negative about “all men” or has some sort of perpetually negative attitude towards the opposite sex before even meeting someone in person, I would click ‘next’ in a fraction of a second.
No self respecting man will want to be with a woman who he knows already has a negative view of him before he even says anything. I understand it’s easy to become jaded when we have negative experiences with the opposite sex, but making your dissatisfaction public will keep the good ones walking right on past you.
I emphasize ‘good men’ in the title of this article because there are plenty of men out there who are either desperate and/or not searching for a deep, meaningful relationship and are more than willing to sacrifice their own wants or lower their standards just to be with someone. But when it comes to a mature man who knows what he wants in life and a partner, these five habits are a sure fire way to drive him away.
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