I find the concept of the “friend zone” interesting because it is a term that feels like it should have been left back in elementary school with “cooties,” but has somehow transcended into modern American culture. Some people consistently express dissatisfaction with the term and say it is ridiculous, which I suppose in some ways it is, but yet if we use it in conversation it is universally understood.
All the “friend zone” really is, though, is a mythical area that everyone who someone is not attracted to intimately is placed. Typically it is seen as somewhere that only men go, but in reality there are just as many women populating friendzoneville as there are men. Now, wave to each other and say hello.
For the sake of conversation, let’s break up the world’s 7 billion people into a 50/50 ratio. This leaves 3.499999999 billion people of each gender who, if you ever get married, you will not end up with. Essentially, this places them in your friend zone.
Even if you are attracted to them on some level or have a sexual history with them from the past, if your relationship doesn’t reach that level again, that’s where they are. Or, that’s where you are, to them.
At any given time when you are in a relationship, literally the rest of the world (unless you’re a dirty cheater) is in your friend zone.
As men, if a woman is not attracted to us, we tend to try to make ourselves feel better by labeling this location that we have been exiled to with the rest of the nice guys – when the reality is that she can only choose one man to be in a relationship with, and you are one of the billions she didn’t pick. Womp womp. Sad face.
I understand the pain that comes along with a one-sided attraction and wanting to be with someone who doesn’t want to be with you, trust me. But, the fact of the matter is that any woman who you look at or spend time with that you don’t want to enter an intimate situation with, you have also placed in the “friend zone,” as in, all you want with them is to be friends.
And, that’s okay.
So, gentlemen, what we really should start doing instead of victimizing ourselves and loping around with our heads hung low, is to continue improving until we become the type of man who attracts the type of woman we want.
I know that rejection is one of the most deeply personal feelings we can have. It literally feels as though we are not good enough for this particular person to give their emotions or time to, and it stings. But – it will help if we understand that out of billions of people on the planet, she will only choose one. And so will you.
Remember, everyone is in somebody’s friend zone, but it only takes one woman to recognize your value. The right person will love everything about you that the wrong people took for granted.
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