If you have spent any time on this website before, you are aware that there are hundreds of articles discussing how modern men conduct ourselves, and how we can all work to become better and do better.
What you will see substantially less of, is discussions about the modern woman and the very real, but under-addressed issue that an ambitious, mature, self-aware man will only be interested in a woman he can see as an equal and one who is on “his level” mentally and emotionally.
Many people have called me out on my seemingly one-sided conversations of the genders, so I am resurrecting some old ideas into a new article here.
I often think about the years I had spent in the “club scene” before I finally lost interest in it. I think about the party girls of our generation. I think about the constant Facebook statuses I see pop up from girls about how “all guys are the same” or how these poor innocent girls are always being mistreated. (Hint: It’s not always someone else’s fault…)
The phrase “they don’t make them like they used to” often comes to mind. A quick flip through the Facebook photos of today’s 20-somethings will often reveal either a party lifestyle, a plethora of selfies serving as compliment bait, or a sequence of ex-boyfriends that all look like cardboard cutouts of each other – none of whom would I trust taking care of a cactus, let alone a woman’s feelings.
If you find that you’re always ending up with the same kind of guy – perhaps you should start looking in different places. Dig through your “friend zone” and see who you left there. Try going to a nice lounge or restaurant with your friends instead of getting “turnt up” and most of all – take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what kind of person you and your lifestyle are attracting.
I could spend hours talking about the decline of chivalry and men being men, and I often do because that is the theme of this website, but that’s not the topic here.
Girls, the “I don’t need no man” philosophy is literally murdering relationships and dragging them through the mud. I am as progressive as they come in terms of equality, and write frequently on the subject – but there are still things that make men feel like men, and we still enjoy doing them. Hence, the community we are building of like-minded individuals.
Men know you don’t need us, but we want to feel like you want us. The last thing a self-respecting man would want to do is chase after, or commit to, a woman who makes him feel unwanted or undervalued. Would you?
Another point – the point of “class” – which encompasses an idea that unfortunately has seemed to have lost its meaning. “Class” is not about the price tag on your outfit. If I had a dollar for every girl who called herself “classy” because she was wearing Christian Louboutins I could retire today.
Speaking of your outfit – less is not more. If you’re looking to be taken seriously by a “good guy,” leave the club attire at home. It’s very possible to look sexy without sacrificing your self respect. I’m sure you could find a million fashion blogs with better suggestions than I could ever give. One recommendation for impeccable style is my friend Allie’s fashion blog.
Real class is about how you carry yourself, how you interact with others, and how you treat those around you. I don’t care what you’re wearing, driving, or where you’re living – if you’ve got an ugly attitude, none of it matters.
This leads me to another point – Nobody is any better than anyone else simply because they got lucky in the gene pool and happened to come out resembling Adriana Lima or Christiano Ronaldo through no work of their own. But the shallow prioritization of appearance by social media has distorted this concept.
- Side note: Guys, this is where you come in. Guys really need to stop drooling over every woman they see on social media. Compliments have become so watered down that even being nice or friendly to a woman is seen with suspicion and they assume you want something from them. Guys who drool on Facebook are the new car-window-yellers. That never worked either, cut it out.
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The attitude that the world owes you something because you get 600 likes on every photo you post is not only unsubstantiated, but will come back around in your later years. If nobody ever taught you the value of putting in your own effort and earning what you deserve rather than having it handed to you – then time will be your professor when it comes to that lesson. That goes for all of us, not just women.
Men have to crack open a lot of oysters before they find the pearl that is the woman they want to spend their life with, just like women will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince…but never settle for the frog. You’re better than that.
The question to ask yourself is, will the right man for you see you as the right woman for him? If your answer is no, then it is time for some introspection and change.
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