10 Qualities Men Really Want (And Should Appreciate) In A Woman

In a world of vapid dating “advice” articles and promoted links invading Facebook with titles like “You’ll Never Believe What He Did, It Just Blew Me Away! Wow! Amazing! Click Now!” we are overrun with unsubstantial content that has flooded our minds with basically just a bunch of air.

When popular magazines and websites focus on things like “Do this one secret thing and he’ll be yours forever,” we spread messages throughout society that promote band-aid solutions to very real issues such as the growing inability of younger generations to build and maintain relationships.

In this article, we will discuss what men really want in a woman that they can see themselves committing to. And guys, if you do find a woman like this, make sure you put in the effort to make her feel appreciated.


She is passionate about life.

A relationship with depth can only come from two teammates with depth. And depth as a person comes from living an interesting life. Living an interesting life comes from being interested in life. A passionate curiosity for life and becoming your best will draw others with the same qualities to you, as well as help you develop individually and as a team.

If it’s reading or any other choice of intellectual fuel, consistent growth is important in a partner.


She is kind to others.

One of the things I pride myself on is being just as kind to someone who asks me a question on the street, as I would be to my best friend. For any man like this, it is safe to say that a woman who is snappy or rude will make him incredibly uncomfortable, and add unnecessary stress to social situations.



She is open to new experiences.

It is impossible to get bored with a woman who always keeps life interesting. Passion for travel, exploration, trying new things for the first time…this is what an exciting life is made of. A woman who not only wants to share those things with you, but comes up with great ideas of places to see or things to try, will hold our attention.


She develops her own view of the world.

Rather than accepting what she is told without question or having a “smile and nod” approach to every piece of media she comes across, critical thinking is an attractive quality because it displays intelligence and curiosity.

Note: This doesn’t mean someone who distrusts others or is cynical – but instead, someone who is well-versed on issues and has reasons for her opinions.


She is comfortable letting a man be a man.

A woman who is truly confident in herself will understand that while she is equal to her significant other, she is not the same as him. He has different strengths than she does and vice versa. As men, we naturally enjoy being protective of the woman in our life, making her feel safe, doing small things for her to let her know we care.

A woman who denies a man these natural tendencies will (to most men) emasculate him and deprive him of doing small things he enjoys. A confident woman will understand a man being chivalrous means he is doing things for her because he wants to show her she is valued, not because he thinks she cannot do it herself.


She is there for you, as you are there for her.

Two words: Mutual support.

Men need a hug every once in awhile too.


She embraces variety.

There is nothing better than a woman who is just as comfortable dressing for a formal event as she is in sweatpants playing video games on the couch. Life brings us all types of situations, and having a partner in crime we love experiencing them all with is a big source of happiness.


She is social.

In addition to the previous point, the ability and desire to be social is also important. Now, I understand some people are socially awkward and I’ve been called out in previous articles about ostracizing them in some ways for saying this. That is obviously not my intention.

I feel that when we are out at an event, hanging out with friends, or at a family function – a woman who can smile and seamlessly blend herself into the situation is incredibly attractive.


She takes pride in her appearance.

No, this doesn’t mean that only the super-pretty or gym-addicted are acceptable. Any person, man or woman, becomes more desirable if they pay attention to their appearance. It is in our biological nature to put importance on physical attraction, and everyone is attracted to something different.

A little time in the gym, an active lifestyle, or just knowing how to accentuate your positive features, all work wonders.


She acts as one half of a team.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. A relationship is a team comprised of two people who are taking on life side by side. As any good team, they work together as well as “fill in the blanks” with each others strengths and weaknesses.

A woman who recognizes you as her teammate in life will take your likes, dislikes, and interests into consideration when making choices (big or small). She will consider your feelings and take them into account (as you should for her).


Of course, it’s important that a woman like this sets her standards high for the type of man she will accept into her own life, as well. As men, we’ve got to put in an equal amount of effort to ourselves and our relationship if we want to find happiness.

Not sure what that might look like? Here are 15 signs you’re with a good man.

Click here to get my new e-book, The Modern Man’s Guide To Chivalry And Courtship!


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18 thoughts on “10 Qualities Men Really Want (And Should Appreciate) In A Woman

  1. Hi James, will you be soon crafting a ’10 Qualities Women Really Want (And Should Appreciate) In A Man’? Sometimes, men tend to be less expressive or responsive so we don’t quite know what we should look out for. Also, women may be very unsure especially after they crawled out from a failed relationship.

    Thank you.

  2. I especially liked this article. Team work in a relationship is very fundamental.This piece speaks to it well, as well as addressing the ramifications of the joint efforts.

  3. I am consistently intrigued and appreciative of your views on dating, relationships, life, etc.  I keep forwarding these to my high school age son.  Maybe a little of this will sink in. 🙂 (He said it was ok…) lol

    Thank you and keep up the great work!


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  5. Amazing article but the sad thing is that most me don’t go after women with these qualities even when one is right in front of them and obviously interested, they would rather stay with someone who they need to support in every single way and who only wants them for what they have rather than go for a woman with the qualities you listed and who does not need them to survive (financially, mentally, emotionally) but cares for them and wants to be with them in their life to support them and love them and be by their side not because they need anything from them but because they just want to be with them. Many men it seems would rather have a parasite than a partner, maybe more men should read your articles?
    Same goes for women and trans.

    1. Wow, I need to comment on how true this is. You know, as a guy who had been going down that road, I owe my own personal mistake to not believing that I could do better. So many guys settle for less, believing that they either don’t deserve that woman or that she’s too hard to attain. Not saying that women who don’t exemplify these qualities are bad people, but just reiterating what Kitty is saying here. Too many men settle when they should shoot for more.

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