10 Ways To Make Your Girl Feel Special


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In the past, we have discussed 10 Ways A Good Woman Will Make You A Better Man, but what I think often goes overlooked is that a woman like this won’t just be with any schmuck. If you want a woman who is genuinely special, you should be treating her that way.


1. Make her feel beautiful, every day.

This one seems obvious. Internet Romeos everywhere are reading this going “Hey man, I call girls beautiful every day!” I don’t mean just telling a woman she’s beautiful – any guy can do that. I mean make her deeply feel, in her heart, that you think she is the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful woman you’ve ever laid your eyes on.

Women are not often as confident as they come across. You need to reinforce her, no matter what. It doesn’t matter if she just got stung by a bee and her entire face is swollen like a basketball, she is still beautiful, and you damn well better act like it.

It’s not just in what you say – it’s in what you don’t say. It’s in how you look at her, how you talk to her, and how you touch her. Make her feel what you don’t need to say, instead of just hearing what you do say.

2. Be honest.

This is another big one. It may not seem like it, because honesty should be a quality that you express towards everyone in your daily life – but being honest with a woman you care about will show her that you respect her enough to be straight up with her.

Choose your words carefully, don’t express your honesty in a way that would hurt her feelings, but make sure she knows that she’ll get a straight answer when she comes to you for one, no matter what it’s about.


3. Kiss her. And not just on the lips.

Now’s the time to get your mind out of the gutter – When was the last time you gave your girl a kiss on the forehead? On the nose? On her hand?

Sometimes these actions speak even louder volumes than a kiss on the lips. They show her you want to be close to her, and you care about her. Plus, they’re more appropriate in public, so you can show her affection and not be arrested by the PDA police.

4. Don’t compare her to other women.

There’s really no reason to do this in the first place – but a woman shouldn’t be made to feel that she’s the ‘best’ out of ‘all the other girls’ because it implies that there are, or have been, other girls. We’re all adults, we realize everyone has a past, but there’s no point in bringing it up.

Instead of making your girl feel like the ‘best’ girl – make her feel like the only girl, because she is.

5. Don’t miss the little things.

Chivalry is a common theme in my blog posts – but that’s because it’s a big one. Often times the small things you do for a woman are the ones that count the most, because it shows you’re willing to put in effort for her just because you want to, and not due to a special occasion or event.

Don’t let the little things fade. The opening of doors and pulling out of chairs, holding her hand no matter how long you’ve been together, hugging her from behind for no reason – all speak louder than words you can say.


6. Listen.

In a healthy relationship, each partner relies on the other for love, guidance, and advice. Sometimes, just taking the time to genuinely listen to what she has to say, and not saying anything at all – will say more to her than your words ever could.

If a woman is complaining to you, remember that it means she trusts you enough to express her feelings to you. Don’t betray that trust.

7. Start, and end your day with her.

Even if you can’t see each other every day, by sending her a simple text when you wake up, and before you go to bed, she will know she’s the first and last person you think of every day. That is priceless.

8. Give her massages.

I never thought I’d have to put this one in here, yet, when girls talk about getting a massage from their boyfriend it’s like it’s some special occasion saved for birthdays and holidays.

It’s not that hard, guys. She’ll appreciate it, and return the favor…


9. Respect her wishes.

You may not always agree with everything your girlfriend says or does. But, mutual respect is the backbone of any healthy relationship. Speaking of backbone – respecting her wishes doesn’t mean sacrificing yours, but it does mean being willing to bend it a little bit for her. You don’t always need to get your way. Plus, you might learn something from her.

10. Remember the little details.

Whether it’s the date you met, the song that always makes her cry, that craving for french fries she gets once every 6 months, or that perfume she loves – paying attention to small details and doing something about it to surprise her, will show your woman that when she talks, you hear her.

It shows her that no matter how busy your life is, despite the pressure you get at work, or the millions of other things you need to worry about – she holds a special place in your heart, and your mind. A place uncluttered by the other noise in your day, or the hectic life you probably both live.

A place reserved just for her – and thatgentlemen, is special.


Click here to get my new e-book, The Gentleman’s Advantage!



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  1. the sake of LOVE on September 9, 2013 at 11:36 pm

    Reblogged this on for the sake of LOVE.

    • Terry Roloff on December 28, 2013 at 9:57 pm

      ladies, remember this is a two way street. if you expect these kindnesses be willing to be just as giving.

      • Frank Graig on December 30, 2013 at 5:24 pm


    • VeneBj on January 5, 2014 at 9:51 am

      these things are common sense,doesn’t take a genious to know to do the right thing

    • molly on January 28, 2014 at 4:27 am

      Love the way this article is framed.”Often times the small things you do for a woman are the ones that count the most”-exactly true! These little moments in bits and pieces is stored in our heart as our greatest memories.This is what each women want in her life.She need adventure … She loves surprises…. She needs a lovely hug… May be she need a person to wipe out her tears…and a man who can turn her anger into laughter…and the one who can hold her hands for a lifetime! The greatest matchmaker in the heaven have made someone for you ..somewhere in the world..when the times comes in he will appear before us.Wait for that moment!

  2. Knara on September 10, 2013 at 10:55 am

    Great article! James your girl must be one lucky woman!

    • James Michael Sama on October 29, 2013 at 11:52 am

      Thanks, I appreciate the kind words. 🙂 I do my best to make sure she feels that way.

      • VEE on November 22, 2013 at 2:36 pm

        I am shocked a man wrote this! bravo

    • Ysh Igdanes on November 19, 2013 at 5:58 am

      True!! I agree!

  3. roqx sastre on November 3, 2013 at 1:19 am

    i wish i can be someone like you 🙂 your an amazing guy

    thanks for the advice 🙂

    • James Michael Sama on November 3, 2013 at 2:00 pm

      Don’t give me too much credit…but I do appreciate the kind words. 🙂

  4. […] Contrary to popular belief, there are still good men out there. You might even be dating one. He might even follow the 10 Ways To Make Your Girl Feel Special. […]

  5. Amanda on November 14, 2013 at 11:53 pm

    I deactivated my twitter awhile back, I’m reactivating so I can follow these articles closer. Such nice things to read. Love them all. Great work James!

  6. Shelby A (@shelbseroo) on November 17, 2013 at 4:15 pm

    let’s just be honest here… french fry cravings are daily things.

    • Katie on November 20, 2013 at 5:11 pm


  7. altmaddyrose on November 18, 2013 at 8:54 pm

    What woman gets a craving for french fries only every six months?

  8. Jeff Floyd on November 20, 2013 at 12:43 pm

    Of course, to please a man she just needs to show up nude & bring beer… 😉

  9. hmm on November 21, 2013 at 12:54 pm

    What you listed under chivalry is not chivalrous. Those are just nice things for each person in a relationship to do for their partner– regardless of their gender. The only girls who expect things from a man without doing them in return are worth no respect, much less my time.

    • egglescake on December 2, 2013 at 7:44 am

      If they don’t value the nice things you do, then yes, run away. However, it’s wrong to make them feel they OWE you, after you did something nice. Relationship is not a financial transaction, you don’t trade massages into handjobs, or whatever. Effort and appreciation for it should come from both parties.

      • BossDarcie on December 4, 2013 at 6:26 pm

        Well put.

  10. Kayla Michelle on November 21, 2013 at 3:03 pm

    Every post I have read by you is magnificent; I loved this one. You hit the nail on the head for what every woman truely wants. I’m going to copy the URL and paste it as a message to my boyfriend on Facebook. You’re a gem.

    • ryan on January 5, 2014 at 7:25 pm

      I’m sure he appreciates that…

  11. Nick on November 22, 2013 at 3:07 pm

    Who are you trying to convince here, James? Me or you?
    Well written piece nonetheless. Some useful tips.

    • James Michael Sama on November 22, 2013 at 3:14 pm

      Hey Nick, thanks for commenting – not sure if I understand what you mean by trying to convince someone though, convince them of what? Can you explain a little bit?

      – JMS

  12. Monica on November 23, 2013 at 5:15 pm

    Perfect. Spot on perfect.

  13. Christie on November 24, 2013 at 9:41 pm

    It’s not just in what you say – it’s in what you don’t say. It’s in how you look at her, how you talk to her, and how you touch her. Make her feel what you don’t need to say, instead of just hearing what you do say.

    THAT makes all the difference in the world in making a woman feel like she matters.

  14. Rachael on November 26, 2013 at 11:51 pm

    This is probably one of the most spot-on relationship-advice lists I’ve read in a while. You should write one for how girls can make their guy feel special (unless you all want us to remember you crave fries every 6 months and what cologne you wear?).

  15. Eden on November 28, 2013 at 6:57 pm

    Great article, just one critique. About the make her feel beautiful thing. Physical beauty is not the most important thing about any person, women included. Beauty can be found in the characteristics and actions of a person as well, and these are often much more important, and certainly more enduring. Do tell your significant other you find them attractive and mage then feel your sincerity too, but make more of a point to compliment things about their personality that you love. For women (and men, I just see it as more of an issue with women), it is important to know that our worth and desirability are not reliant on our looks.

  16. Yeah... on December 1, 2013 at 8:33 pm

    I think these are just things that anyone should do for their significant other. It’s not like guys are just fuck drones, or–to put it less drastically–that we don’t have an equal need to feel ultimately significant and loved.

  17. Eefa Fauzan on December 3, 2013 at 10:29 pm

    wow life would be so beautiful when i find a man like this one day.. i’m sure he’s somewhere out there 🙂

  18. -______________- on December 4, 2013 at 10:25 am

    you are way too in love with yourself man. stop it.

  19. Naara on December 4, 2013 at 2:02 pm

    I read this out of curiosity and after reading it I noticed that my boyfriend does all of these things on a daily basis. I feel so lucky to have him. But I think that women need to acknowledge men too or they will feel under appreciated. 🙂 I’m happy to have a healthy and loving relationship. Single ladies: Don’t worry, he’s out there. I stopped looking and he just magically appeared.

  20. Ron on December 5, 2013 at 12:13 pm

    Great article. I practice many of the things mentioned above. Somethings I disagree with. I realize a woman leans on her man, and I agree 100% that he should go the extra miles and then some to make sure she knows she is special to him. What I have a problem with is giving young women the notion that it is soley the mans job to provide a womans happiness. As a man I expect my woman to have a certain amount of confidence in herself. Not to be an overconfident beast, but believe in herself and who you are, not only because of a mans opinion of you. A man can shower you in compliments, do all the little things that make her feel special, but if she is not happy with herself, or doesn’t believe in herself, then his efforts will be short lived. Also, the compliment and affection should be a two way street. He should make her feel special, and she should make him feel special. Too many women think it’s all about their happiness only, and In my opinion, that leads to failure.

  21. Steve on December 8, 2013 at 7:53 am

    As a guy at the end of a contentious divorce, I can say that doing all the things you recommend (which I would agree) got me was a sense of entitlement that she deserved more…. and everything! I’m going back to women with low self esteem who are at least appreciative. LOL.

  22. Brittany on December 8, 2013 at 6:18 pm

    I hear you out on this one, James, but I do need to act a counter statement. If you go out of your way to do this for a woman and the woman does nothing for you in return, you’re wasting your time. Believe me, I’m married and after only 1.5 years of marriage, (of course, we were also together two years prior) I can definitely tell you that if the generosity and compassion is only one sided, it’s time to walk away. A relationship should never be 50/50, it should be 100/100 with the man AND woman BOTH giving it everything they have..otherwise, the use of all of the man’s energy into a relationship will one day eventually lead to a bitter sense of entitlement for all of things he did for her that she never had the decency to reciprocate in return.

    • Ron on December 9, 2013 at 7:29 am


  23. Ree on December 8, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    All I can say is wow. This was so beautiful an I hope u have someone amazing in ur life. I only ever hope I find somebody with that much lol. Keep it up.

    • Ree on December 8, 2013 at 8:21 pm


  24. JJ on December 10, 2013 at 3:25 pm

    I tried my best to do all of these and my girlfriend broke up with me last week because she said she wasn’t happy anymore. Now I’m even more confused. Damn.

    If nothing else, I’ll continue to do them with whomever I end up with in the future. Some things just can’t be helped, I guess.

    • James Michael Sama on December 10, 2013 at 3:27 pm


      I’m sorry to hear that man. Unfortunately, there is no formula for happiness or success in a relationship. There are a million different circumstances that are impossible to predict.

      If you do all of these things, believe me when I say that there are plenty of women out there who will love and appreciate you for it. Many of my readers alone are desperately looking for a man like you.

      Keep your head up, brother – we’ve all been there.

      – James

  25. Sara on December 11, 2013 at 12:03 pm

    I think you’ve got some good advice there in general (although the point others have made about this not being only applicable to men dating women is valid), but… Top of the list should be “don’t call her ‘your girl’ if she’s out of grade school.” If she’s an adult, she’s a woman, not a girl. Calling her a girl sends the message that you don’t see her as an adult who can be your equal partner or who is worthy of your respect as a peer. I don’t think you intended your headline to give that impression at all, but—the little things do matter.

    (YMMV; obviously some women won’t mind being called “girl”; each individual is different and I get that there are potentially cultural contexts in which it’s not considered inappropriate. But when giving very generalized advice like this… Better to err on the side of caution.)

    • James Michael Sama on December 11, 2013 at 12:05 pm

      Thanks for your comment,

      I didn’t intend that even in the slightest. I say “my girl” as a term of affection – nothing else.

      Saying “my woman” to me sounds too possessive. My choice of using girl over woman has no meaning or implications whatsoever.

  26. Hamkiz on December 23, 2013 at 7:33 am

    All I can say is wow. This
    was so beautiful .Keep it up man

  27. Bex on January 4, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    So true!
    Would love to hear your thoughts on how to make a man feel special! 🙂

  28. […] 10 Ways To Make Your Girl Feel Special. […]

  29. Steven on January 21, 2014 at 10:17 pm

    Just broke up with my girlfie 4 days ago and she’s the one asking for it… I almost did all those things that you have mentioned in this article especially text messages and the little things.

    And she told me the reason that she requested to break up is that all I did for her were great but couldn’t lift her up… I am really confused as she didn’t elaborate more… sigh

    I have no idea what to do for my next partner in coming days..

    Anyway this is a great article. Keep it up the good job 🙂

  30. Tony Moses on January 26, 2014 at 4:21 am

    I really appreciate this Post, it’s kind of what I have been looking for but except seems like it’s for working class people and am not that yet.

  31. arekireng on February 2, 2014 at 5:32 pm

    very very good,i like this nice article

  32. freemytongue on February 16, 2014 at 5:43 pm

    Reblogged this on FREE MY TONGUE and commented:
    I stand in awe of the strength of a woman because I have been brought up by the strongest of them all. I am forever mesmerized by the beauty of their hearts and by the purity of their love. After everything I saw my mum and, later, my sisters go through to raise me up, I have to say that a woman is the most magnificent of God’s creations. And I’ll be damned if she doesn’t deserve all the love and respect a man has to offer. If she wants pampering, pamper her. It is not because she wants to be a child, she just wants to know there is a man who can take care of her. If she wants you to call twenty times a day, pick up the phone and call her because you will never find the same kind of love that makes her miss you so much. If she says she loves you, believe her and love her back. She is the goddess of the earth and guardian of true love; and the last custodian of our morals. These are the reasons I love the women in my life: sisters, cousins, friends, girlfriend, aunts, grandma, I love you all.

  33. Qandisa (@angell916) on March 7, 2014 at 11:41 am

    It’s quite possible that I have fallen in love with the author of this article, I’m kidding of course, but it is incredibly refreshing to hear a man speak about women this way, and it sounds like 100% of how he genuinely feels about love/relationships, kudos.

  34. Amy on March 24, 2014 at 2:58 pm

    I just want to thank you for this article and your blog in general. I am so grateful to be able to show these to my teenage son to explain how he needs to treat others in the future, as he has not had the example displayed in his life. I just passed my 25 wedding anniversary. Please note, I say passed, and not celebrated as my husband has been engaging in extramarital affairs over the years. Although we are attempting to work things out, the fact that none of these behaviors have been present over the years speaks volumes to me. I have realized that my father did not really display these to my mother, which would explain perhaps why I didn’t know any better. I notice many men will post comments stating it’s a 2 way street, which I definitely agree with. I can say that I have been the “chivalrous” one over the years, hoping that my husband might return at least a few of these kindnesses, but it was purely one sided. For those women who are blessed by a man who treats them this way, please acknowledge it, return it and realize just how blessed you are! And for dads, your daughters and sons are watching you. If you want her future partner to treat her this way, she needs to see her mother treated this way, and your sons need this behavior modeled for them.

  35. dmicu6 on March 24, 2014 at 9:31 pm

    Reblogged this on Blogs & Bibles.

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  77. alex on May 19, 2016 at 12:07 am

    Thanks for the advice i did it all and she loves me more and so do i

  78. alex on May 19, 2016 at 12:10 am

    I love you so much Samantha you are my true love and only love

  79. mayur on May 23, 2016 at 2:03 pm

    Can u plzz help me as I girl I love has not talk to me for 7 years but now have started talking to me so I just told her that ow I feel for her but she always don’t expresses herself in front of me!!

  80. Jeanne on July 24, 2016 at 4:11 pm

    A post that can make any relationship better. But I think this can be read by / for either gender. Males should be made to feel special too. Down with chivalry. Equality for all. ❤️⭐️

  81. Marco on October 18, 2016 at 2:17 am

    Right now this woman makes me feel like I can fly. I hope this will continue for a long time. Great tips man!!

  82. ELISEO ASIBA on January 28, 2017 at 11:27 pm

    that’s really wow!!i did it and now she is the queen of my heart,,thaanks alot james you are a great man

  83. sushant verma on November 28, 2017 at 9:56 pm

    this really happens when i m with her…

  84. sushant verma on November 28, 2017 at 9:59 pm

    she is the one who can make me feel better….. and happy

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