Men say women are complicated, and women say men are complicated – but for different reasons. Men say women are complicated because of the perception that they say one thing when they really mean something else. Women say men are complicated because we never say what we really want in the first place, so women are left figuring it out. None of us are mind readers, unfortunately.
So for the men who are not comfortable articulating what you want in a relationship, I speak for you, and for the women who are constantly left guessing, I speak to you. Here are eight things that men want.
Men want a teammate.
We are social creatures. I can at least speak for myself when I say that I enjoy going to many different types of events and spending time around a lot of different types of people. Just as much though, we enjoy a quiet night on the couch watching movies and ordering takeout.
While these things are great either on our own or with friends, having the woman we love by our side increases the enjoyment level ten-fold. To have someone to share these experiences with (whatever types of experiences he enjoys) is always a plus. And please, even if the types of things he likes to do aren’t your cup of tea, do your best to have a good attitude about it when you’re there. He should do the same for you.
Men want to be supported.
What is sometimes even more important than physically being by a man’s side, is emotionally being by his side. Some of us have big hopes, dreams, and ambitions. Sometimes they may even seem unrealistic to some people – but they are what keep us going.
It doesn’t matter if it is business or personal, to know that the woman we love fully supports us, encourages us, and even sometimes brags about what we are doing, is an amazing feeling no man will deny.
Men want to laugh.
Women know how attractive humor is and men know how attractive it is to women – but it also goes both ways. Men love a woman who can keep him smiling and laughing, whether it be during a text conversation that brightens his day or sitting on a park bench making up stories about people as they walk by.
Life throws us curve balls and is not always easy – humor and the ability to laugh during those times can keep a relationship strong and moving forward.
Men want to make you feel good.
He thinks you’re beautiful and amazing. He tells you you’re beautiful and amazing. He acts in ways that show you he really feels this way.
One of the more frustrating thing for a man is when we do our damnedest to make the woman in our life feel great and she constantly denies us or shoots down the compliment. “No, I look terrible today.” “No, my skin is breaking out.” Eventually, he will become less and less excited to compliment you because all you are going to do is minimize it. It feels like you’re giving someone a gift and they toss it on the ground in front of you.
A nice “thank you” or “thank you baby” or a kiss on the cheek or however you two show appreciation in your relationship will make him feel good for making you feel good.
Men want to provide for you.
We know, you don’t need us to do anything for you. You don’t need us to open the door or pull out the chair or go fill your prescription – but we want to. We want to because those are the small things we do to let you know we love you. Men are naturally providers as women are naturally nurturers. Sure, we all have our differences and show it in different ways, but it is important that women understand this is one of the big ways that men show how much they care.
By being too independent and telling us you can do everything for yourself, you effectively take away our method of showing you that we love you. Many men are not great communicators (surprise), so they resort to their instincts to show you non-verbally. Food for thought the next time you tell a man “I can do that myself,” ladies.
Men want you to be proud of them.
Perhaps an extension of the point about supporting men, but different. It is one thing to stand beside him during his journey and another to celebrate his accomplishments with him. There is nothing better than the “proud girlfriend” who can’t stop talking about this great thing her boyfriend did. It makes us feel special and valued.
Men want stability.
Women are not the only ones who crave stability in a relationship. We want a woman who is a stable part of our lives because it means we know we can trust her and count on her. It means we know who we are coming home to. Too many fights or arguments or inconsistencies will have us wondering who it really is we committed to.
Men want to feel appreciated.
Perhaps the biggest point here. Any man worth his salt will put in effort to do things for the woman in his life, make her feel valued, wanted, and appreciated.
I understand some women are used to a lot of attention, but the attention from your significant other should mean something more. The things he does for you should never go unnoticed, no matter how small they are. In fact, the smaller things should be appreciated more because they show attention to detail and real effort.
It doesn’t matter how giving or kindhearted someone is, eventually, everyone gets tired of waiting to be appreciated. Show him how important the things he does are to you, and he will never stop doing them.
If a man does all of the things for you in a relationship that a true gentleman does, and he finds all of the things here in his relationship with you, the two of you can build the bulletproof relationship you need in order to navigate all of the crazyness this world brings our way on a daily basis.
A team that strong can never lose – but we both have to play our parts.
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