7 Reasons Good Guys Win In The End
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To say “nice guys finish last” is to display a fundamental misunderstanding of what a “nice guy” is or what “finishing last” means. If you mean that a good guy finishes last because he always puts his woman first, then you are correct.
But the reality is, it’s not the nice guy who finishes last, it’s the boring guy. It’s the timid guy. And, in reality, it’s also the “bad boy” who finishes last because they usually ultimately fall short when it comes to providing women with the satisfying and fulfilling relationship that they are looking for.
The good guy will win in the end, and here are seven reasons why.
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A good guy can be trusted.
Above attraction, above sex appeal, above all else in a relationship, comes trust. You can’t love someone you don’t trust, you can’t expect to be cared for by someone you don’t trust, and you can’t fully commit yourself and your heart to someone you can’t trust.
If you are a good guy who has proven himself to her and she knows she can trust you – it will put you lightyears ahead of someone who she will never truly feel comfortable with.
A good guy has depth and character.
If you want to be the guy that she wants to build a life with, the type who she can see herself raising a family and growing old with, the type she can laugh and cry and share every life experience with, think about what is really going to be important to her.
It doesn’t matter how cool, or funny, or rugged, or in shape a man is – none of those things will be able to fill the gap left by a man who doesn’t possess the depth and character she yearns for.
A good guy will support her.
Life is tough. Things get hard and unexpected challenges arise. Health challenges, financial challenges, hard days at work or even just small annoyances like getting stuck in traffic.
A woman knows that when it comes to facing the ups and downs in life, if she’s going to have a man in her corner it better be a good one. One who is willing to stand by her through all of it no matter how hard it gets, because he loves her.
A good guy will make her feel valued.
When it comes to long term relationships, I often hear about how one partner (or both) feels taken for granted after awhile. Small acts of kindness and romance give way to daily routines and obligations, and the spark seems to fade a little bit.
But, it doesn’t have to. A good man will continue to show the woman in his life just how much she means to him, long after he’s got her. He will understand that the effort it took to get her attention will be the same effort it will take to keep it. Everyone wants to be appreciated, especially by the person they love.
A good guy will respect her.
Respect is the cornerstone of love. Without one, the other cannot exist. A woman needs to know she is with a man who respects her viewpoint, respects her opinions, respects her boundaries and outlooks on life. If a man does not respect the woman he is with, it will only be a matter of time before she finds one who does – a good guy.
A good guy will be her friend.
Men are afraid of befriending women because they think it will permanently land them in the “friend zone,” but when you think about the foundation for many relationships, it requires getting to know someone over time and mutually deciding to spend more time together, much like a friendship does. The evolution and progression of these interactions are key to eventually bringing things to the next level.
You can have a friendship without a relationship, but you can’t have a relationship without a friendship.
The good guy gets the good woman.
Men often tell me that women don’t appreciate the gestures that I promote in my articles. The kindness, the romance, or the chivalry. The fact of the matter is there there are many women out there who are dying to finally find a man who does do and value these things – though they may be harder to find than their antitheses. That does not make them any less real. The question is, will you stay true to your character until you find the one who does appreciate you, or will you let all of the ones that don’t make you become jaded?
Don’t let the wrong people change your nature, because the day you do might be the day you pass by the right one.
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The thing we cannot lose sight of as men is that being the good guy will not always get you all of the girls, but it will get you the right one who makes you happy. Stay strong, stay positive, and most of all – stay true to yourself. There will be someone who comes along that appreciates you for you.
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Well said James. Thoroughly loved and enjoyed this article. Blessings always.
Thanks Anthony! Glad you enjoyed it sir.
This is so true!
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This was a great article. Thank you James.
I have one question that I have been thinking about recently and it involves trying to stay true to the chivalry movement when in college and all you see around you are people only hooking-up. How would you suggest going about dating multiple women that I meet on campus when it seems like people only want to go out and part? Dating in general in something that I’m not used to but i believe that now is the time for me to meet the most people I ever will.
Thanks again for your time James.
Thank you for clarifying the difference between a timid, weak-willed guy and a nice guy. Not enough people understand that a man can be both sincere and strong without being a jerk, so thank you for differentiating.
My pleasure Dan! I run into this issue consistently so I had to create an article that sort of defined the “good guy” as I see him personally, anyway. Glad that this could provide some clarification from people who shy away from being kind to others for fear of not being taken seriously.
Also, I greatly appreciate you reading and commenting!
Best,
– JMS
“Don’t let the wrong people change your nature, because the day you do might be the day you pass by the right one.” – nicely put.
Thanks Tin!
Reblogged this on THE OFFICIAL NIKKI BABIE BLOG.
Very true! There are tons of great girls out there looking for a good guy. Both are hard to find and it can be discouraging, but efforts are appreciated by the right people. I’ve been hurt many times, but remind myself not to become bitter because of what was said above about not passing by the right one.
It’s true that perhaps nice guys get the right girl in the end but the perception – even from women- is that being nice means not being to get the girl (and when you’re trying to woo someone, clearly you think she’s the right one).
It’s an interesting point but I wonder if the truth is perhaps not a little more nuanced. I’ve written about an experience that happened to me: http://yinology.org/nice/ and am trying to reconcile your article with my situation.
Thanks for writing
Good men Always when in the long run.
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Hi. I’m the copyright owner of the first image on this post. Could you either remove it, or give proper credit for the image? You are infringing on copyright by using this image without permission. Thanks.
Hi Tara! Sure, I would love to give you proper credit, I found the image unsourced floating around online and loved it, your work is fantastic!
Please let me know if you would rather me take it down or what website you would like me to link it to. You can email me at JMSama215@gmail.com.
Thanks so much!
– James
Calm your titz
If theres a woman here who actually wants a good strong man email me Nick299n@gmail.com.
Well then, that entirely depends on your definition of winning now doesn’t it.
If winning means getting a used up woman that slept around all her 20s with hundreds of men and settled for you now that she is old and damaged, then I’d rather be losing.
Remember, Alpha Fux, Beta Bux.
They get the girl in the end with a dead bedroom. She will give him all her non sexual attention and very minimal sexual attention, with many excuses.