There are just as many happy, fulfilled, single people you will encounter as there are unhappy and undervalued people who are in a relationship. One “title” you are assigned by your choices does not change your level of internal happiness.
Unfortunately, our society helps to perpetuate the idea that if you are single, you are “unworthy” of love and your goal should be finding a relationship. When in reality, it is of course better to remain single and only accept the love you deserve, than to settle for negative relationships along the way.
So, here are some suggestions to help in the quest for happiness and fulfillment that doesn’t rely on another person.
Get into a fitness routine.
Sure, you can do this when you are in a relationship also, but having myself fallen victim to the potential lazyness that comes along with wanting to spend your time staying in with someone, the temptation of ordering out, unless you have an active partner who will keep you moving, it is easy to fall into a slower moving routine.
When you’re single, not only are you more motivated to look your best, but it is easier to spend your time out at the gym and not worry about leaving someone at home. Then, when you do get into a relationship, your fitness routine will be part of the deal and you’ll be less likely to break it.
Take time to define what you want in a partner.
I’m certainly not saying to sit around and pine over a person you’re not longer with. Being single is a great opportunity to use your mental and emotional time to define in your mind what type of person you want to be with.
Essentially, you are laying the groundwork for your next relationship and will waste less time with the wrong people if you know what you’re looking for. Just remember – nobody is perfect and you can’t expect someone to fall into the exact image you’ve created. Be flexible, but never settle for less than you deserve.
Get a new hobby.
This could even coincide with the first point, but any hobby that holds your interest will work. Art, learning the ukulele, whatever floats your boat. Having something that not only fills your time but that you can progress and get better at – will not only give you something to continue working on, but also give you something interesting to talk about with people.
Not to mention the new networks of people that come along with learning a new skill or being in a new environment.
Whether it be overseas or renting a beach house with some friends a few towns over, finding yourself in different environments will help expand your view of the world and realize just how many people are out there you can be friends (or more) with.
Indulge in yourself.
Whether it means getting your nails done, buying yourself a new set of paint brushes, a watch that’s just a little more expensive than your comfortable with, or whatever you are into – spending a little of your hard earned money and free time to do something for yourself will give your mood a boost.
Join a new group.
In Boston, for example, there is a fantastic group of people brought together at frequent events by The Good Ones. The Good Ones offer the ability to go out to multiple higher end venues during the week and know there will always be a great group of interesting people who just want to talk and learn more about you.
What better atmosphere to be in if you are single (or even if you are not single)? Since there is no emotional allegiance to anyone during your single days, you can find yourself in any group, anywhere, anytime, and making a connection with anyone – without feeling bad about it.
Find (or create) a group like this in your area and your schedule will never be empty.
Understand you are a whole, complete person.
You don’t need someone to complete you, only someone to accept you completely. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will understand that happiness comes from within and you don’t need to be with someone in order for it to happen.
You may recognize the quote “you must love yourself before you can love someone else.” This isn’t the self-love we see flooding social media where people compliment themselves, real self love is about developing a solid identity, realizing what you deserve in a teammate, and not settling for any less.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have, is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be.
Regardless of your age, we need to drop the social stigma that being in a relationship means being happy and being single means being sad and alone. The happier you are being single, the more likely you are to attract other positive, active, fulfilled people into your life – and the less likely you are to be upset about it if you don’t.
Now get out there and create the life you want to live with yourself!
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