7 Ways To Live A Happy Single Life
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There are just as many happy, fulfilled, single people you will encounter as there are unhappy and undervalued people who are in a relationship. One “title” you are assigned by your choices does not change your level of internal happiness.
Unfortunately, our society helps to perpetuate the idea that if you are single, you are “unworthy” of love and your goal should be finding a relationship. When in reality, it is of course better to remain single and only accept the love you deserve, than to settle for negative relationships along the way.
So, here are some suggestions to help in the quest for happiness and fulfillment that doesn’t rely on another person.
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Get into a fitness routine.
Sure, you can do this when you are in a relationship also, but having myself fallen victim to the potential lazyness that comes along with wanting to spend your time staying in with someone, the temptation of ordering out, unless you have an active partner who will keep you moving, it is easy to fall into a slower moving routine.
When you’re single, not only are you more motivated to look your best, but it is easier to spend your time out at the gym and not worry about leaving someone at home. Then, when you do get into a relationship, your fitness routine will be part of the deal and you’ll be less likely to break it.
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Take time to define what you want in a partner.
I’m certainly not saying to sit around and pine over a person you’re not longer with. Being single is a great opportunity to use your mental and emotional time to define in your mind what type of person you want to be with.
Essentially, you are laying the groundwork for your next relationship and will waste less time with the wrong people if you know what you’re looking for. Just remember – nobody is perfect and you can’t expect someone to fall into the exact image you’ve created. Be flexible, but never settle for less than you deserve.
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Get a new hobby.
This could even coincide with the first point, but any hobby that holds your interest will work. Art, learning the ukulele, whatever floats your boat. Having something that not only fills your time but that you can progress and get better at – will not only give you something to continue working on, but also give you something interesting to talk about with people.
Not to mention the new networks of people that come along with learning a new skill or being in a new environment.
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Travel.
Whether it be overseas or renting a beach house with some friends a few towns over, finding yourself in different environments will help expand your view of the world and realize just how many people are out there you can be friends (or more) with.
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Indulge in yourself.
Whether it means getting your nails done, buying yourself a new set of paint brushes, a watch that’s just a little more expensive than your comfortable with, or whatever you are into – spending a little of your hard earned money and free time to do something for yourself will give your mood a boost.
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Join a new group.
In Boston, for example, there is a fantastic group of people brought together at frequent events by The Good Ones. The Good Ones offer the ability to go out to multiple higher end venues during the week and know there will always be a great group of interesting people who just want to talk and learn more about you.
What better atmosphere to be in if you are single (or even if you are not single)? Since there is no emotional allegiance to anyone during your single days, you can find yourself in any group, anywhere, anytime, and making a connection with anyone – without feeling bad about it.
Find (or create) a group like this in your area and your schedule will never be empty.
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Understand you are a whole, complete person.
You don’t need someone to complete you, only someone to accept you completely. The sooner you realize this, the sooner you will understand that happiness comes from within and you don’t need to be with someone in order for it to happen.
You may recognize the quote “you must love yourself before you can love someone else.” This isn’t the self-love we see flooding social media where people compliment themselves, real self love is about developing a solid identity, realizing what you deserve in a teammate, and not settling for any less.
The most important relationship you’ll ever have, is with yourself. If that one isn’t healthy, none of your others will be.
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Regardless of your age, we need to drop the social stigma that being in a relationship means being happy and being single means being sad and alone. The happier you are being single, the more likely you are to attract other positive, active, fulfilled people into your life – and the less likely you are to be upset about it if you don’t.
Now get out there and create the life you want to live with yourself!
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As always, your article is spot on. As someone who is well on her way to becoming a confirmed singleton, I really appreciate you going to bat for us happily-single people. Our lives aren’t any less fulfilling and they certainly aren’t lacking anything. I’m lucky that the majority of my friends are like-minded but sometimes it’s hard navigating through a coupled world as a 30-something.
I agree, spot on.
Just to clear this up a little bit – these are all things you can do in a couple also! Of course these are great ways to gain confidence and love yourself while single, but there are plenty of articles going around that tout the benefits of being single (like getting to travel and be selfish sometimes and such), when most of the things they say are unique to singledom can actually be done while with a supportive partner, also.
Man, get your own house in order, then the right women will be attracted to you. If you’re going through turmoil or hardship, those super-sensitive creatures called women will sniff it on you and it’ll put them off you. If you’re emotionally unhealthy, guess what, you’ll attract like-minded women. Be the change you seek. Michael’s tips will help get you on the right road.
I have gone through some really rough times. I didn’t get married, like so many of the guys I know. I didn’t have to live through the drama, I didn’t have to fork over any cash to get out of a marriage, or so that my ex-spouse could live in independence, on my cash. I should have been laughing all the way to the bank; however, I have several female siblings and a mother, all of whom exhibited jealousy in a nasty fashion, which was meant to inhibit me in any manner they could. You wouldn’t call this testing, it was more like a bashing, with way too much drama, and me wanting to simply be left alone; which was the intention they had in mind: bombard him, and he’ll chose to be left alone. And he will not have any other woman in his life. People are generally selfish. That selfishness commonly expresses itself through envy and jealousy. I think it is disturbing, but necessary to some extent. But people should never take it too far and become negative and destructive influences.
Dear James,
I’d like to say that as always, with an open mind, your articles are always fantastic and wonderful to read.
I too am all for the chivalry movement. However, i’d just like to post some feedback which may inspire you to write your next article about too or improve this one. here goes:
the post 7 ways to live a happy single life is inspiring and a wonderful read. however, i fill it doesnt really do the title justice. i cant help but feel it seems to be skewed towards hinting at an end goal of “finding a partner”. While i do feel those points are valid and im working towards that, i think it’d be nice if there was indeed some talk about truly being single and improving yourself wholly for the fact of being comfortable alone/single (alone not being negative or lonely). the later part of the post seems more like it. but the first few points seems more of like what i mentioned above.
Once again, thank you for all the posts you have been doing. they have been insightful with much words of wisdom to men.
Regards
Simon
I often get the feeling that when you are single, women put pressure on you to find a mate. Why wouldn’t they? They want to be valued and pursued, after all. However, once you are with one woman, some women will tell you that you need to stop looking around at other women. First they wanted you looking, now they don’t. And then you are suddenly a lot more attractive to the competitive women out there. Now they start to get aggressive with their interest. And if you sleep with a woman who happens to be their friend, and particularly if the woman is in to you, then they will want to screw you too. That’s how women operate.
Reblogged this on Almost Anything.
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I love being single!! and modern man that is not how women operate!! other wise all men are players..neither is statement is true!!
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