Now that we’ve gone over Things Men Want Women To Know, we’ve got to cover the other side of the coin, too.
These could be small things that we never think about, but that’s what separates mediocre boyfriends from great boyfriends. If you really care about the woman you’re with, it should be clear to you which one you’d rather be.
So, how do you cross over into relationship excellence? Understand the subtleties…
How you refer to her, matters.
In an earlier article I discussed placing your hand on the small of a woman’s back when you introduce her to people. It’s a way to sort of bind you together as one, especially in a public setting. While actions speak louder than words, it’s important to realize that words still do speak.
It makes a difference if she’s “My friend Susie,” just…”Susie,” or “My girlfriend Susie.” The ‘title’ so to speak, that you give when introducing her or referring to her when speaking with others, tells her a lot about how you see her, and how you want others to see her in relation to you.
U is not the same as “you.”
As someone who has a mild obsession with grammar and language, I’ve always been sure to use full words rather than abbreviations when being sincere, especially when texting. We all know that texting can be a difficult method of communication given the nuances and lack of tone.
“Love u” is very different than “I love you.” One looks sort of lazy, but the other looks like a complete, sincere sentiment. I’m taking a wild guess right now: Guys are reading this shaking their head thinking there’s no difference, and girls are nodding to themselves. It only takes an extra .0002 seconds (roughly) to type a text in the more sincere way, definitely worth the effort.
You see your worth differently than she does.
This is a big one. As men, we tend to place self-worth on accomplishments. Income, professional progress, achievement of goals, and the like – typically govern how we feel about ourselves. While a good woman will support and encourage you to chase after these ambitions, she won’t see you as any more or less of a man because of them.
Be good to her, be kind to others, love your family and friends. Bring out the best in her. Listen. Try to understand. And you will be everything she needs.
Set your goals high, gentlemen. Become the best you can, accomplish everything you set out to, and win at the game of life. But do it for you. She will love you either way.
Cheating is not just physical.
Some guys think that if they don’t go “all the way” with someone else, they’re basically in the safe zone. Not so, gentlemen.
Cheating starts the moment you begin to delete messages or texts from someone else. The moment you start to lie to her about where you went for drinks after work. The moment your emotions are more fixated on someone else than they are on her.
She has thought about your future together.
She might not have a plan for it and she probably doesn’t have your kids named (yet), but odds are she has probably thought about whether or not she can picture herself with you in the long term.
Don’t let this scare you off. If she’s someone you truly care about and she’s still with you, then her thoughts have gone in a good direction. See it as a positive.
Reassurance is good.
You don’t need to tell her you love her constantly. Don’t fawn all over her or smother her with love in public. In other words, don’t be needy or assume that she is.
But, still, reassurance is good. Letting her know how much you love her, admire her, how much you enjoy being around her, and how attracted you are to her – will all help eliminate insecurities and doubt. We all want to feel wanted.
The small things count the most.
As much as we want to perform grand, romantic gestures for the woman in our life (and can/should now and then), it’s the small things that really matter most.
Why? Because these are the things that show her you’re willing to put effort in for her, just because. No special occasion needed.
She wants you to break up with her.
…Instead of cheating on her. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you need to be honest. Sneaking around and lying will only delay the inevitable, and when (not if) she finds out about it, it will be worse than if you had just left in the first place.
She remembers everything.
She doesn’t want to have to tell you any of this.
If we pay attention along the way, there is a lot we can learn about women and relationships. Past girlfriends, women in our families, friends, even random people who talk about dating on social media can all give us small nuggets of information we can use to develop ourselves into a good significant other.
Nobody is perfect – but it’s always better to do something out of the goodness of your heart rather than because you’ve been told to do it. In relationships, this can make us wonder if our partner is being sincere, or just going through the motions.
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