10 Things Women Want Men To Know
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Now that we’ve gone over Things Men Want Women To Know, we’ve got to cover the other side of the coin, too.
These could be small things that we never think about, but that’s what separates mediocre boyfriends from great boyfriends. If you really care about the woman you’re with, it should be clear to you which one you’d rather be.
So, how do you cross over into relationship excellence? Understand the subtleties…
How you refer to her, matters.
In an earlier article I discussed placing your hand on the small of a woman’s back when you introduce her to people. It’s a way to sort of bind you together as one, especially in a public setting. While actions speak louder than words, it’s important to realize that words still do speak.
It makes a difference if she’s “My friend Susie,” just…”Susie,” or “My girlfriend Susie.” The ‘title’ so to speak, that you give when introducing her or referring to her when speaking with others, tells her a lot about how you see her, and how you want others to see her in relation to you.
U is not the same as “you.”
As someone who has a mild obsession with grammar and language, I’ve always been sure to use full words rather than abbreviations when being sincere, especially when texting. We all know that texting can be a difficult method of communication given the nuances and lack of tone.
“Love u” is very different than “I love you.” One looks sort of lazy, but the other looks like a complete, sincere sentiment. I’m taking a wild guess right now: Guys are reading this shaking their head thinking there’s no difference, and girls are nodding to themselves. It only takes an extra .0002 seconds (roughly) to type a text in the more sincere way, definitely worth the effort.
You see your worth differently than she does.
This is a big one. As men, we tend to place self-worth on accomplishments. Income, professional progress, achievement of goals, and the like – typically govern how we feel about ourselves. While a good woman will support and encourage you to chase after these ambitions, she won’t see you as any more or less of a man because of them.
Be good to her, be kind to others, love your family and friends. Bring out the best in her. Listen. Try to understand. And you will be everything she needs.
Set your goals high, gentlemen. Become the best you can, accomplish everything you set out to, and win at the game of life. But do it for you. She will love you either way.
Cheating is not just physical.
Some guys think that if they don’t go “all the way” with someone else, they’re basically in the safe zone. Not so, gentlemen.
Cheating starts the moment you begin to delete messages or texts from someone else. The moment you start to lie to her about where you went for drinks after work. The moment your emotions are more fixated on someone else than they are on her.
She has thought about your future together.
She might not have a plan for it and she probably doesn’t have your kids named (yet), but odds are she has probably thought about whether or not she can picture herself with you in the long term.
Don’t let this scare you off. If she’s someone you truly care about and she’s still with you, then her thoughts have gone in a good direction. See it as a positive.
Reassurance is good.
You don’t need to tell her you love her constantly. Don’t fawn all over her or smother her with love in public. In other words, don’t be needy or assume that she is.
But, still, reassurance is good. Letting her know how much you love her, admire her, how much you enjoy being around her, and how attracted you are to her – will all help eliminate insecurities and doubt. We all want to feel wanted.
The small things count the most.
As much as we want to perform grand, romantic gestures for the woman in our life (and can/should now and then), it’s the small things that really matter most.
Why? Because these are the things that show her you’re willing to put effort in for her, just because. No special occasion needed.
She wants you to break up with her.
…Instead of cheating on her. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, you need to be honest. Sneaking around and lying will only delay the inevitable, and when (not if) she finds out about it, it will be worse than if you had just left in the first place.
She remembers everything.
She doesn’t want to have to tell you any of this.
If we pay attention along the way, there is a lot we can learn about women and relationships. Past girlfriends, women in our families, friends, even random people who talk about dating on social media can all give us small nuggets of information we can use to develop ourselves into a good significant other.
Nobody is perfect – but it’s always better to do something out of the goodness of your heart rather than because you’ve been told to do it. In relationships, this can make us wonder if our partner is being sincere, or just going through the motions.
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I am sorry but she DOES have to tell us her thoughts, we don’t have ESP. Otherwise, great.
We tell men our thoughts in different ways than they want them sometimes. We want our significant other to WANT to do those things. If you propose because you want to, it would mean a heck of a lot more than if she had to ask you for a ring. If she had to ask you to propose to her, she would spend your entire married lives together wondering if you wanted to, or if you only did it because she told you to.
We don’t expect you to read our minds in the way you’re thinking of…
I believe, I could have interpreted him wrong here, that Cato was referring to the smaller things. The party that gets to us men is when it is we are expected to know that your day was terrible even though you are acting the exact same and we have 0 indication that it went worse than expected (this is assuming that we asked how your day went you you replied as you normally do). Woman seem to base things off of tones and body movements and I will admit, MEN SUCK AT REALIZING SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES. I think he was referring to not being able to read the messages that you women believe is extremely obvious but to us we just don’t notice. Then you get mad that we don’t notice.
My second sentence’s grammar was disgusting. *The part that get to us, men, is when we are expected to know….*
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James Michael Sama, please have yourself cloned! Great post!!
In an Indian setting, respecting her family is a prerequisite to a healthy relationship!
Reblogged this on LoveNLyrix and commented:
Hello, James – you have a typo in your article “As someone who is has a mild obsession with grammar and language”
Thanks Jalik! I thought I had fixed that but I will go back and check it again.
Ironic that it happened in a sentence about grammar.
Thanks for pointing this out.
I am glad you pointed that out. But, at the same time, I am also not displeased, to see, that no one is perfect. I also obsess mildly, about grammar and language, and unwittingly, also make errors, when I am not proud to have done so. This does not for me, take away from the content, of the article, which I like a lot.
Reblogged this on Thoughts from Within.
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🙂 I really like the “Remember” part.. yeah everything!
Wisdom for sure!
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Reblogged this on Life as Missy and commented:
This guy nailed it! Check out his blog!
Reblogged onto lifeasmissy
Good to know. I did know most of these but it’s good to hear how we can support our guys. By the way, I’m enjoying your perspective and appreciate the fact that there is a great men’s blog out there about being a manly man. Keep it up!
The part about breaking up instead of cheating is something I wish everyone would do. Cheating is a cowards way out of a relationship. Honesty shows character and makes things more civil and genuine than deceitful. I remember when I was spending time with someone (just hanging out) and before I knew it she was in love with me. However I began dating someone and I was into her instead. The thought crossed my mind about seeing both of them at once but I decided to cut ties with the first and pursue the one I was into. The first understood and while her heart was broken, I felt I did the right thing by being honest with her. Aside from breaking her heart, I wouldn’t change the process: being honest with someone even if it means you have to break her heart.
This all seems ridiculous. I mean, surely the only rule that applies to EVERY relationship would be to respect one another. These advice columns in which people get the “top ten best tips” for anything, while interesting to read, don’t really mean to much. I’m not attacking the author here, nor am I attacking anyone who thinks this article is God’s gift to happy relationships, but please consider the fact that all of these “rules” are pretty shallow. Different strokes for different folks and all that.
I think i’ll print this off and give it to my boyfriend. Great post!
If only all men saw things the way you do…
Reblogged this on Once upon a fello time,.
After reading this, it makes perfect sense why they are so many older women who are single.