8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back

The more women I talk to, the more I realize that the gentleman is a rare breed. The mission of the New Chivalry Movement is to bring men (and women) together who strive to be the best versions of themselves and love and respect those around them.

As the gentleman has become less prominent, so have the respectful acts that define him.

Here are 8 acts of chivalry we often overlook and should work to bring back.


Giving up your seat.

Whether on a bus or on a crowded subway, giving up your seat to another is a rare but great sign of respect. I always cringe a bit when I see a woman, elderly person, or anyone else worthy of respect – forced to stand while young men remain distracted by their phones. It all comes down to being aware of your surroundings and acting accordingly.

Only one in seven men will offer their seat to a woman on a train or bus.

Pulling out a woman’s chair.

This one, as many others, is simple but rare. You don’t have to run around to your date’s side of the table to make sure you pull out her chair each time, but when convenient, it’s a nice extra touch.

Less than one in five men will regularly pull out a chair for a woman to sit down. That’s under 20%.

Open doors for her.

I have countless articles with this point already in them, but it’s one of the staples of chivalrous respect and probably the easiest to perform, as we all walk through doors every day. I don’t want to make any assumptions, but something tells me the extra few seconds it takes to open a door or let someone walk through first won’t ruin your day.

The same goes for car doors, a woman will appreciate you getting out of the car to open the door for her, or walking around to her side first, when you’re picking her up. It’s amazing to me how many men don’t do this.

Call, don’t text a date invite.

Just the fact that you would take the time to actually call a woman to ask her out on a date will put you lightyears ahead of your competition (of which there is a lot). Plus, you’ll be able to tell how excited or enthusiastic she is (or isn’t) about accepting your offer by actually hearing her voice.


Compliments, compliments, compliments.

I don’t know how many times I’ve heard that it’s a rare occasion for a woman to be complimented in her relationship?

What? Why?

Every guy in a relationship should take the time every day to let his woman know how beautiful he thinks she is.

Walking on the street side of the sidewalk.

The purpose of this lost art is to show your willingness to be splashed instead of a woman should a passing car run through a puddle. Furthermore, in some countries people would throw trash out of windows, and the person walking closer to the building, was less likely to be hit.

It’s an effortless way to show her that you care.

Walking her to her door.

At the end of your date, especially early on in the relationship, walk her safely to her door. This is especially important if she lives in a city. It shows you’re willing to put effort into protecting her and makes her feel safe – two important aspects of building her trust and comfort.


Parking far away? Drop her off first.

If you’re having a hard time finding a parking space close to her destination, offer to drop her off at the door while you go and look for a spot. She may be fine with walking the distance, but it’s a nice gesture to save her the effort, especially if she’s wearing heels.

As gentlemen in modern times, you automatically stand out from the crowd. These points above are easy and free, but one would be surprised how rarely they actually occur. For those of us who naturally make it part of our daily lives, it’s difficult to picture how someone else couldn’t. But – it happens.

The new era of chivalry is not rooted in the chauvinistic mindset of the past. We have evolved past performing these acts for women because “they can’t do it themselves.”

The new gentleman performs these acts for the right reasons – love, caring, and respect.

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1,574 thoughts on “8 Acts Of Chivalry To Bring Back

  1. I don’t wanna start World War III. Let’s just all be friends and agree to disagree with me, kay? 🙂

    When a guy is courteous to a woman, we call it chivalry. When a woman is courteous to a guy, we call it common courtesy. Nobody said that supporting chivalry meant you couldn’t go the other way round. It just has a different name.
    If a guy opens the door for a the woman behind him, it’s chivalry. If a guy offers his seat to a lady on the train, it’s chivalry.
    If a lady offers her seat to a gentleman on a train, it’s common courtesy. If a lady holds the door for the man behind her, it’s common courtesy.
    I live in a rural place and have never ridden on public transportation, but I do hold doors, smile, say please and thank you, and try to be a lady to people- gentleman and other ladies alike. I can count the number of times a man has held the door for me- like actually held it, not stopped in the door and kept it half open with two fingers while looking over his shoulder- on one hand. I can count the number of times a woman has held the door for me with half of one hand.
    I would feel special and appreciated if a man pulled out my chair for me. No one has ever done it, but it might be novel if someone would give it a try someday. On the other hand, I doubt severely that any of the guys I know would feel appreciated if I pulled their chair our for them (unless there’s a reason, I mean, women feel special when you do it for no real reason. If a guy was hurt or tired or whatever, I’m sure he would appreciate it very much).
    No one said women were supposed to not be nice to men. But it’s just a different name is all. Yeah, many guys don’t act the gentleman anymore, but I think there’s even less women who act the lady.
    For every girl who smiles genuinely and thanks you for holding the door, there’s another who wants to kick you where it counts and set you on fire. You take your life into your hands, being chivalrous to a lady, sometimes, but I think it’s worth it. I know some guys give me really odd looks when I hold doors open and allow them to enter first. I just smile an pretend it’s normal.
    You can’t please all of the people all of the time. Whatever. I’d like to think I’m a lady, and I hope there are a few gentleman left.
    For the record, a gentleman is also supposed to be gentlemanly to other gentleman too. Just…. not by bringing up the car or sharing an umbrella. Just like ladies are supposed to be nice to other ladies. Let’s just all be nice. How about that?

    1. I always do my best to open a door for a lady. What’s frustrating is not being given the chance. When together, I always offer to drive. I open the car door, let her get in then close it and go to the driver’s side. At a restaurant it is just appropriate to pull out the chair. The true art is sliding it back underneath her when she adjusts. Make plans, let her order first. Stand up when she excuses herself, stand up when she returns. Walk her to her destination, offer her your coat if it’s cold. Southern tradition.

  2. Dumb. Chivalry is dead and women killed it. Want me to open your door? Then put your damn phone away. Want me to pull out your chair? Then don’t ask me how much money I make a year. Want me to walk on the street side? Then wipe that smug look off your face and be a lady.

  3. This is so good! Exactly what I’ve been searching for! As a lady in this strange world in which we live, it gives me hope to find that there still are true gentlemen out there. As it may be, I think that if men would begin treating women like ladies again, then ladies would be surprised and want to give something in return. Like…RESPECT! All the women I’ve encountered haven’t really wanted to “be in charge”. If they search deep in their heart, they want a man to be able to tell them what to do. I don’t mean roughly, more like with a gentle but firm manner. Maybe I’m old fashioned, but you cannot demand respect and expect it to be given readily and willingly. Chivalry is paralleled with this: you cannot demand a man to be chivalrous, yet act as masculine as he is. It doesn’t work. Please bring chivalry back.

    1. WHAT?! Women take notice of men who do those things. It’s great when it happens, but I can hold my own door open and I hold it open for my boyfriend sometimes too. It’s really just whoever makes it there first. But no, I do NOT like being told what to do. I like being in a relationship built on mutual respect where we do nice things for each other out of love, not because one of us did something good and the other felt compelled to “give something back.”

  4. If a strange woman can expect me to open a door for her (with no such obligation on her part to open my door) then is it okay if I expect her to carry a lint brush and freshen my clothes? Women cleaning clothes for men is just a nice way of old fashioned ladies to show respect the same as opening the door.

  5. Thank you for posting and sharing. Chivalry is not dead, my daughter and her husband courted for two and half years before saying “I Do” and did so without kissing, having premarital sex or moving in together. They never said it was easy, but worth the wait. While courting he always opened and held doors open not only for her, but other women. He always offers his arm, he drops her off at the door when parking far away (especially on cold or wet days), he’s always buying flowers for her, just because. He compliments her in every possible way to help lift her up. He is a real prince charmer and a very Godly man. He always had her at home by a respectable time. While courting and he realized she was the one, they had serious discussions regarding finances, children, discipline, responsibilities, and actively chose to go to marriage seminars, anything that would help prepare them for marriage. He talked to both my husband and I about his plans to marry, then once he decided to ask her, he asked us for our blessing. I’m raising our boys with chivalry and letting them know there are women who will not thank them or appreciate it, if anything they will take advantage of them. There are women who will try to nickle and dime them on dates. There are women who will want to kiss on the first date or go further, but it is up to them to stay pure until they marry. Staying pure keeps false rape charges down and keeps unwanted pregnancies out of their wallet, yes it can be done. I’m teaching them there are women who will dress provocatively just to get attention while showing off their assets, ask them to change before taking them out, they don’t want to change-then leave. If a young lady has to dress provocatively for a date, she has no respect for herself in turn she will have no respect for young men. Children learn by what they see and hear at home, teach your children, don’t leave it up to society.

    1. That was the most soul-crushing post I’ve ever read. “False rape charges,” you say? Wow. As if you knew the first thing about sexual assault.

  6. My mother raised me right!
    That was way before this whole concept (being a gentleman) went off the rails. The woman’s lib movement did a fine job of rejecting polite behavior by men. I don’t have enough hands to count the times woman have expressed surprise that there is still a gentleman in this world. I have had women tell me they didn’t want me to open the door or hold their chair or ask why I moved to their other side when walking on a sidewalk.
    Bottom line:
    I do not find woman attractive who do not appreciate polite behavior.
    For me it is an immediate disqualification!

  7. I must say this is a very old fashion way of chivalry. Chivalry ain’t dead, it just evolved and became modern. Men might not hold open doors and pull out seats, but that is not really what respect is built on either. Respect is respecting each others way of thinking, respecting each others boundries. Not looking at each other as just a pice of meat, or walking wallets.
    Respect is not to look down on those who are less fortunate than your self. To treat poor, sick or other cultures with respect.

    There is no point in on sex to serve the other as if we were slaves, of the others demands. If we mean to be equal, we must act like we are equal.
    It’s not like there are so many ladies out there anymore either, it seems being a bitch is the new cool. As a man, i do not really appreciate that either. But we accept that the world changes and moves on, and we must change with it.
    It is no use to be stuck in the past. One thing is to open the doors for people, if you see they are carrying many bags. It is a totally different thing to expect them to walk on pools for you, just because you are a woman. Despite the fact that you never really give anything in return.

    It took me 25 years to find a real woman, cause they are so few today.
    But she is not a real lady, because she is willing to make dinners for me, or wash my clothes. She is a real woman, because she care for me, despite the fact that i am not perfect.
    Chivalry is not opening doors or holding chairs, it is caring.

    I give you my seat on the bus, if you are pregnant or old. Not because you are woman.
    I hold the door for you, if i see you have a lot of bags to carry, or are pushing a baby wagon. Not because you are a woman.
    I pull out the chair, if you are carrying a plate, and don’t have your hands free. Not because you are a woman.
    Because it is in the end disrespectful, to treat people like they are helpless children.

    In the end. Modern chivalry are called respect. I think most women prefer respect, in stead of a man behaving like a servant for them. But if they don’t, i do not really respect their intelligent to much.
    Because if we are going to make every time we spend together, into a exercise of old fashion expectance of chivalry. Where one has to serve the other. Our time together will really be more stressful than enjoyable.

  8. These 8 acts of chivalry are NOT anything that I ever want to have done for me. These are the things that male chauvinist pig men do to KEEP WOMEN IN SUBSERVIANT ROLES IN THIS SOCIETY. I refuse to play their stupid, antiquated games. Ladies first – like HELL. WE WOMEN ARE NOT STUPID. WE WILL NOT ACCEPT THESE DEMEANING ACTS FROM YOU. GO AWAY AND OPEN YOUR OWN DAMN DOORS. This stuff is one of the main causes that over the years have pushed women to the margins of society. I will not play your games; you are NOT being polite. You are je=rks when you do this stuff.

    1. So you’re the one ruining it for the rest of us! Chivalry is not about subjugation, it’s about respect and admiration. I don’t want men to treat me as an equal, I want them to treat me like the Queen and Goddess I am! Don’t trow away your power over men as a woman by cutting off your nose to spite your face. You come across as irrationally angry because someone attempts to pay you respect!

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