The Right Person Will Love Everything About You That The Wrong People Took For Granted
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For anyone attempting “dating” in the 21st century, there is an overwhelming question of whether or not our generation actually appreciates the qualities many of us were taught to possess by our parents, grandparents, or hell – even Disney movies.
In an age that seems to be overrun by the self-absorbed, those who are perpetual givers often feel as though they are shoveling their heart into an abyss of apathy. The “me me me” generation can easily seem as though they feel entitled to the special attention they are given, and therefore express their appreciation less.
To the giver, this can be quite disheartening. While I believe that someone with a truly generous heart will never do something for the sake of anything in return, everyone likes to feel appreciated by someone they care about, or put themselves out there for.
I think one of the biggest keys to avoiding, or at least minimizing this heartache, is to really begin to slow down and think about who we are giving our time and attention to. Our generations are moving at such an insanely fast pace on a daily basis, that many kindhearted people are just looking for ways to reach out to someone and feel the connection that we all crave.
This can very quickly cause a feeling of being unappreciated since he/she will act this way towards anyone who even shows a little bit of interest in them. Reciprocated interest or attraction certainly does not mean this person is worthy of your heart and efforts.
I think a lot of us have to teach ourselves to slow down a little bit, and really figure out who is deserving of our feelings before we hand them over on a silver platter.
Remember, you are valuable too. You don’t need to give something to someone in order to keep them interested in you – and if you do – they are not the type of person you want to be around anyway. Make sure people see the value in you rather than what you can do for them.
The first step to other people recognizing your value, is for you to recognize it in yourself. The harsh truth of the world is that there are many people out there who will be more than happy to take advantage of your kindness. However, there are also many people out there who will genuinely appreciate you and treat you how you would be willing to treat them.
You must not lose faith in humanity. Humanity is an ocean; if a few drops of the ocean are dirty, the ocean does not become dirty. – Mohandas Gandhi
I spoke to someone once who felt undervalued in a relationship she (was) in. I asked if she could walk into a Ferrari dealer with $50k and buy a $200k car. She said of course not. The point is, they will not compromise value for just anyone who happens to want it. Demand & value will fall drastically once the “price” slips. Until someone comes along who can afford the car, it will sit in the dealership denying all lower offers.
Moral of the story: Respect yourself; don’t negotiate your value for someone who doesn’t deserve you. The right person will love all of the things about you that the wrong people took for granted.
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I really liked the premise of your post very much, but I do think (based on this and other posts) you seem to have romanticized the past. Only recently have women not been considered the property of men. Well, at least in this country and a few others. Whether people are aware of it or not, this ideology is still prevalent in mass media. We are bombarded with these messages daily, both men and women are devalued. Emotional Intimacy is devalued. We need to get to the root of it. We are still dealing with the fallout of past ideologies, and it affects people on a subconscious level. See my featured post “When Ads Add Up and Divide.” http://neuroresearchproject.com/
You said:
Hmmm, where have I read that before? 😉
There are many more like that from past centuries. As far as the “dating game” goes, there’s not another time in recorded history I’d rather be dating or in a relationship, especially as a woman. That’s for damn sure.
Loved the Ganhdi quote, and your closing remark.
No time to proof, so take your grammar Nazi mask off. 😀
Put bluntly, no one can value you more than you value yourself. I really liked the premise of the article, but felt the title was totally wrong. The title made it sound like I’d be reading an article fosters the “woe is me”, “Don’t try to change who you are because someone will love you for you”, line of thought whereby people are reactive rather than proactive. I don’t think it’s what you were trying to say at all. If anything, I think what it points towards is creating your own value to gain another’s interest or attention rather than trying to buy it with gifts and deeds. Good stuff man.
When is the James Sama motivational speaking tour going to get started?
You make a good point here dude, do you think I’d be better off changing the title? Always looking for constructive feedback so this is definitely helpful.
I’d love to do some more speaking but I think I need to establish my online presence more and get my name out there first. Need to create a demand, but I’m working on it!
Thanks again for giving your thoughts here.
Reblogged this on princelesslife.
[…] The Right Person Will Love Everything About You That The Wrong People Took For Granted – For anyone attempting “dating” in the 21st century … don’t negotiate your value for someone who doesn’t deserve you. The right person will love all of the things about you that the wrong people took for granted. […]