I recently wrote a post titled What it takes to be a modern gentleman in the 21st century, and some people suggested I put together something similar for the women of our generation.
So, I started to think.
I started to think about the years I had spent in the “club scene” before I finally lost interest in it. I started to think about the party girls of our generation. I started to think about the constant Facebook statuses I see pop up from girls about how “all guys are the same” or how these poor innocent girls are always being mistreated. (Hint: It’s not always someone else’s fault…)
The phrase “they don’t make’em like they used to” comes to mind. A quick flip through any of their Facebook photos will often find either a party lifestyle, a plethora of self-absorbed selfies, or a sequence of ex-boyfriends that all look like cardboard cutouts of each other – none of whom would I trust taking care of a plant, let alone a woman’s feelings.
If you find that you’re always ending up with the same kind of guy – perhaps you should start looking in different places. Dig through your friend zone and see who you left there. Try going to a nice lounge or restaurant with your friends instead of being “up in da club,” and most of all – take a look in the mirror…and not to take a picture.
I could spend hours talking about the decline of chivalry and men being men, but that’s not the topic here.
Girls, the “I don’t need no man” philosophy is literally murdering relationships and dragging them through the mud. I am as progressive as they come in terms of equality, but there are still things that make men feel like men, and we still enjoy doing them.
We know you don’t need us, but we want to feel like you want us. The last thing a self-respecting man would want to do is chase after, or commit to, a woman who makes him feel unwanted. You stop that right now.
Another point – the point of “class” – which encompasses a word that unfortunately has seemed to have lost its meaning. “Class” is not about the price tag on your outfit. If I had a dollar for every girl who called herself classy because she was wearing Louboutins I’d never have to work a day again.
Speaking of your outfit – less is not more. If you’re looking to be taken seriously by a “good guy,” leave the club attire at home. It’s very possible to look sexy without sacrificing your self respect. I’m sure you could find a million fashion blogs with better suggestions than I could ever give – My only suggestion is that you do so.
Real class is about how you carry yourself, how you interact with others, and how you treat those around you. I don’t care what you’re wearing, driving, or where you’re living – if you’ve got an ugly attitude, none of it matters.
This leads me to another point – You are no better than anyone else simply because you got lucky in the gene pool and happened to come out resembling Adriana Lima through no work of your own.
- Side note: Guys, this is where you come in. Guys really need to stop drooling over every woman they see who is even mediocre looking on social media. Compliments have become so watered down that even being nice or friendly to a woman is seen with suspicion and they assume you want something from them. Guys who drool on Facebook are the new car-window-yellers. That never worked either, cut it out.
The attitude that the world owes you something because you get 600 likes on every photo you post is not only unsubstantiated, but will come back to bite you in the ass in your later years. If your parents or boyfriends never taught you the value of putting in your own effort and earning what you deserve rather than having it handed to you – then time will be your professor when it comes to that lesson.
Many girls these days seem to skate along on the assumption that because they’re pretty now, they can ride around in exotic cars, party on yachts, take vacations on their boyfriend’s dime, and this will just last forever. Well – harsh voice of reason: It won’t.
There will be a day when you look in the mirror and wonder why you’re still single. You’ll wonder why nobody saw your true, inner beauty, which I’m sure many of you have. And ultimately the answer will be: You were suckered into putting up unbreakable walls because you dealt with some poor excuses for men, and just assumed they were all the same.
You gave the wrong things to the wrong people for too long, and the person who truly would have cared for you and treated you like you deserve to be treated, may not have been in the right “scene” or driven the right car, so you let him float down by the wayside.
Also: Read a book now and then. Being sexy isn’t just about working on your body – it’s also about working on your mind. One of the many great things about my girlfriend is that she can challenge me intellectually and always keeps me sharp.
I had to crack open a lot of oysters before I found the pearl that is my beautiful, (truly) classy, well educated girlfriend – just like many of you girls will have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince…but never settle for the frog. You’re better than that.
A beautiful face means nothing without a beautiful heart.