Why You Should Always Do Nice Things For Girls
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Classy. Sorry, Preston Waters, but I can’t be one of those guys (who has been in your position) who agrees with you. It should be said that your boy Jay-Z, the model of Big Pimpin’, also found a woman he loves and settled down, even after writing those lyrics.
Now maybe I’m biased, coming from a family of strong and loving marriages: my parents have been married for over 30 years and my grandparents have been married for over 60. Perhaps it’s because I’m inherently chivalrous and have a reputation for mixing old fashioned values with new school methods.
Or maybe it’s just because I understand that each individual human being in this world is different, and judging someone brand new based on the actions of someone in your past is asinine, and dare I say it: immature.
I am not an idealist when it comes to relationships. I spent almost a full decade single and “living the life” in the party scene. I met, spent time with, and dated some of the hottest women I had ever seen in my life. And with many (not all) of these hot women, I suffered, admittedly, the headaches and drama that Mr. Waters so eloquently describes.
The difference is, I recognized the stereotypical “party girl” as just that. Nothing more, nothing less. By simple deductive reasoning, you might realize that if you leave the party scene, you will no longer find party girls. And if these are qualities of party girls, the country club/lounge/book store/coffee shop girls will most likely be different.
They might even, *gasp*, appreciate your chivalry. Remember the definition of insanity: doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting different results. If you want to find a different type of woman – well, then date a different type of woman.
My belief is that everyone, no matter where they’re from or what “scene” they’re in, is secretly searching for the same thing. Everyone enjoys companionship, and nobody truly wants to be alone for too long.
Women are so used to being played by guys who are jaded, that each one of us has the special opportunity to be the one who shows them we are not all the same.
I could have bought another car with the money I’ve “wasted” on dates, and maybe have lived another lifetime with the hours I’ve spent being Prince Charming for countless girls who really didn’t deserve or appreciate it – but you have to find a lot of rocks before you uncover a diamond.
I still open doors, pull out chairs, buy little gifts for no reason. And I always pay for dinner. I knew that if I became more selective about who I treated that way, I would eventually find someone who appreciated it. And guess what – I did.
That girl just so happens to have been in a previous relationshit with some idiot who never treated her right, and instead of letting it break her, she appreciates what I do even more now. And that makes me love doing it all the more.
The way I see it, I am not a gentleman towards women because of who they are. I am a gentleman towards women because of who I am. The fact of the matter is, you never know whose day you will make by simply holding a door, smiling, or saying hello. Good girls are out there in the crowd just like good guys are.
That woman whose spilled coffee you didn’t help her clean up because “all girls are the same” could have been your future wife. Too bad you’ll never know, because you allow yourself to be defeated by a bunch of egotistical little girls who value swag over substance. There’s a woman waiting for YOU to prove that all men are NOT the same. The question is: will you prove her wrong or right?
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Well said. As women we could make the same generalizations of men based on the ones that treated us badly. But it’s not fair. There are gems out there waiting for everyone. You just need to give the right people a chance.
what bullshit! to many women out there demand chivalry, and too few truly deserve it. may shining armor has long since gone into the recycle bin.
If a person has to “deserve” that you act like anything but a piece of garbage, that makes you a piece of garbage. Period. This is why you are surrounded by people just like you. The good people aren’t in the recycle bin… that’s where they isolated you and your bunch. See also: Respect.
When you start being a genuinely good person that is tactful and respectful of others, you start attracting people that are like that… you also stop perusing the internet for articles that validate how you choose to behave.
While I agree with the substance of your comment, I can’t help but feel that this is somehow directed at me? If it is, can you clarify what you mean a little more based on what I’ve said in this article?
Hello James, let this be the start of reading your articles after reading my first one. Such valid statements.. however my question to you is.. Why pay for the woman’s dinner? Is it really part of being a gentleman or is it not? The woman herself had agreed to spend the time with you, so what is the purpose behind paying for her dinner? This is something that I could never understand the reasoning behind, and as much as people may tell me otherwise, I would love to hear what you would have to say.
Learned very young that “You’d make a wonderful husband….” was the kiss of death in a relationship. Didn’t change me, nor did I get a chick magnet…I mean hot car. Will always remain a gentleman, and unappreciated by all women but those that married their “bad boy.” Ha.
I love all of your posts (I even display them via my twitter!) Would love for you to guest post or interview for my blog one day 🙂
Don’t forget that there are lots of girls who aren’t even asked out. So no not all women are crappy. Alot don’t even get the time of day from men.