What A Healthy Relationship Really Looks Like
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With the current state of dating, do we even know what a healthy relationship is anymore?
In the points below we’ll discuss what a healthy relationship looks like in real life, not in a fairy tale.
There is no judgment.
Happiness in a relationship comes from two teammates who are able to be open and honest with each other. That honesty comes from being comfortable to open up and know that you will not be judged.
When you’re sharing your life with someone, there is no room for secrets or lies. Especially secrets or lies that are forced by the inability to be genuine with your teammate.
The right person for you will support and encourage you on your journey to becoming the person you want to be, but they will also love you as the person you already are — no judgment allowed.
You have discussions, not fights.
It’s natural to face conflicts when you spend a lot of time with any person, but a healthy relationship will resolve any issues by discussing their opinions and stances in order to understand each other better and reach a solution they both agree on. Frequent nasty, vindictive fights are unacceptable at any stage.
There is mutual support.
Whether or not you share each others’ passions or life ambitions, when you truly care about someone you want to see them succeed and be happy in whatever they love. This means standing beside them, not in their way, when they dedicate effort toward pursuing a goal.
You are frequently intimate.
Let’s face it, this is a big part of a relationship — and it’ll be easy to tell if you’re in a good place together or not.
There is unwavering mutual respect.
This one needs no explanation — mutual respect between partners in a relationship is paramount to its success. Honesty, trust, friendship, and intimacy all grow from this foundation. Without respect, there is nothing else.
You cannot love or respect someone you don’t trust. Trust is built over time through consistency of actions and showing they align with your words.
In the right relationship, both partners have earned each others’ trust and would never do anything to betray it.
While of course you should be compatible with your teammate, that doesn’t mean that you will automatically love every single thing they love, and vice versa. If you truly care for someone and their happiness, you will be willing to watch, do, see, and experience things they enjoy, as they would do for you in return.
Without compromise, we can easily find our relationships resembling a see-saw with a huge boulder on one side, the distribution never shifts.
In this case, the boulder represents the wants and needs of one partner. There should be an equal amount of balance in order to keep you both happy and satisfied.
You understand you both have a past, but that’s where it stays.
When animosity or bitterness from or towards a previous relationship is brought into a new situation, it’s like taking a shower and putting the same dirty clothes back on again after. You’re not really starting fresh.
Two mature teammates will accept the fact that they are (probably) not the first person their partner has ever been with, and understand that those experiences have shaped him/her into the person they are today.
In reality — these experiences should actually be seen as a good thing, because they ultimately created the person you fell in love with, regardless of how rocky the path.
You have similar goals or dreams for your future.
We can’t expect our significant other to have an identical plan for their future as we do (See: Compromise and mutual support), but having a similar vision of our futures is important.
Like any team, as a relationship is, the results are best when the members are working towards a common goal together. This goal could even be something as simple as self-improvement. If one teammate is dedicating their life to personal growth, and the other is content with how things are and never displays a desire for change, then this can easily create resentment and tension over time.
You never lose sight of the little things.
The small things you do for someone are what count the most. These are the actions that show your partner that you’re willing to put in effort for them, just because. No special occasion or holiday required. You don’t need a schedule to show someone you love them.
A happy, healthy relationship will consist of two partners willing to put in equal effort, consistently. Great relationships are not about give and take, they’re about give and give.
When these little things start to fade is when the strength of the relationship will start to become more questionable. Do they really appreciate you? Do they still care as much as they once did? Is our relationship becoming stronger over time, or weaker?
Once you start asking yourself these questions, it is time to address them and find real answers.
Every person who reads this will have a different image of their “ultimate” relationship in their mind. The key thing is to understand that it is possible to achieve, as long as both teammates are willing to put in the effort to uphold the integrity of the wants and desires.
Does it sound like work? That’s because relationships can be — but that’s what makes the great ones so rewarding.
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Awesome wisdom, Thank you for imparting your wisdom.
Happy you enjoyed, Jennifer!
Love it and agree 100%
Going through a breakup and this really helped bring some light into my situation.. thank you
Almost 10 months into a relationship with a man of my dreams, I read these things through the lens of never taking for granted what we have and making sure we are doing all the right things to maintain what we have. I also find it very validating that after having been married for 21 years, the relationship I’m in now has all the aspects that you list above, the aspects we both were looking for and now appreciate in each other.
Thanks for always hitting the nail on the head!
This is excellent and I agree 100%. Now, if only to find a good man….