5 ways to attract women who want more than just your money
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There is a common [mis]conception from men in the dating world who feel as though women are just chasing after free dinners or nights on the town, and aren’t actually looking for a proper relationship.
Here’s the thing: They’re right.
There ARE a lot of women out there who are just looking for a free ride. I’ve heard women talk about it myself. They go on multiple dates a week just for the free meals.
Terrible? Yes. Impossible to avoid? No.
Just because some women [girls] are like this doesn’t mean you can’t filter them out early in the dating process to ensure that someone wants you for YOU, and not for your success.
Start attending more events where your equal peers will be.
Fundraisers, charity events, art gallery openings, or anywhere where the attending audience will [in theory] be people who take pride in their own personal success and are not trying to poach others who have already achieved it.
The reality is, the MAJORITY of women do not need or want you for your money. Now, more than ever before in history, women are self-sufficient and are excelling in the workplace. If you find that most of the women you date are using you for freebies, then you’re surrounding yourself with the wrong women.
Start having deeper conversations with women.
I’m not saying you’re to blame here, but men tend to associate their self worth with their accomplishments. We like to talk about what we’ve done, who we’ve met, where we’ve gone, patents we’ve gotten our names on…things that signal financial success or stature.
The irony? We attract what we project, and projecting little more than a financial face in our lives will give women the idea that this is what they can expect from us.
If you want to easily find out who is truly interested in you as a person, start revealing more of that person to them. Talk about your desires, your goals, your family, friends, things that are important to you OUTSIDE of work.
The RIGHT woman doesn’t give two shits about what’s in your bank account, she wants to know what you stand for as a man. If you’re not showing that to her, how can she ever find out about it?
Project more depth and substance.
An extension of the previous point flows into your personal brand both online and offline. How are you projecting yourself in online dating photos? How are you showing up to events or in person? Are you friendly, smiling, conversing with others? Or are you coming across as someone who feels he is better than others and has no time to interact?
Online, are you projecting wealth and status in all of your photos, or do you also have some of regular family life or spending time with friends? Are you showing women who you really are, or just what you have?
Important questions to ask yourself.
Pay attention to what SHE asks about YOU.
Men have been the pursuer since the beginning of time when it comes to intimate relationships. And as someone who is a bit of a traditionalist (in this area of life), I think that’s how it should be.
This causes a lot of men to chase after women without paying attention to how she is treating him in return. This takes self discipline to pump the brakes and be honest about how interested she really is in who you are, and what you’re about.
It also requires you to make sure you’re not talking about yourself constantly trying to ‘sell’ your worthiness to her. This is not an effective strategy for building a foundation.
If she isn’t curious about WHO you are and what you stand for, it could be a red flag that you’ve oversold the things you can give her, and she’s just going along for the ride.
Understand the right woman just doesn’t give a shit about your money.
The reality of American society is that women are crushing it in the workforce and in education. They are outpacing men in many areas, are single mothers, single professionals, CEO’s, entrepreneurs, and really don’t care what you make.
Sure, they want someone who matches them in ambition and passion for life, just like you do, but that is more important than the number in your bank account balance.
The RIGHT woman is going to value your kindness, your caring nature, your attention to detail and effort put forth – no matter what it costs (or doesn’t cost).
She’s not going to be impressed nor drawn in by your watch or your zip code or your Tom Ford suit or your passport full of stamps – FOR THE SAKE of these things. They may signal to her that you have your shit together and have pursued your goals with veracity and live life on your terms, which is attractive and sexy to them.
But when the RIGHT woman sees these things, it will signal a teammate to her, not a set of coattails to ride.
She wants a teammate, an equal, a partner to take on the world with. And she is waiting for you to show her the heart underneath your Hermes tie.
The right woman doesn’t want your car, your money, or gifts. She wants your time, your effort, your honesty, your loyalty, and your respect.
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