Don’t Worry, Nobody Else Knows What The Hell They’re Doing, Either


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How much stress would you say you feel due to looking at the distance between where you’re at in life, and where you want to be? Perhaps your income isn’t where you’d like. Perhaps you’re going through a breakup. Perhaps you’re struggling with changing your major because you discovered that corporate tax law isn’t your life’s passion.

What then adds to the internal struggle, is the highly visual world we live in that basically rubs everyone else’s happy lives in your face, eh? That Instagram couple with the shredded abs who never seems to have a home because they’re always in exotic locations…but they don’t work. The flashy cars, houses, watches, romantic relationships, happy marriages…

Let me tell you a little secret:

It’s all bullshit.

Sure, those things really exist. People do make millions of dollars, influencers do lead amazing lives, people do have great marriages – but nobody is perfect. Nobody’s life is free of stress, struggles, and challenges.

I have had the good fortune of meeting an extra-wide variety of people during my short time here on earth so far, and there are so many similarities between humans it’s staggering. It really doesn’t matter how beautiful or successful someone is, there is something they’re challenged with. Sometimes severely.

I have a private coaching client who is very successful in her career, and she has told me in the past that she doesn’t understand why she’s trusted with so much responsibility. “Who am I to make those decisions?”

It’s called Impostor Syndrome (I’m not kidding, look it up), and when I explained the concept to her, it completely shifted her perspective on how she saw herself. The more successful that people become, the more intense their impostor syndrome can get. Do you know why?

Because they are just human like you and I. They are normal, regular, everyday people – who choose to work their ass to the bone every day becoming successful and creating the life they want to live. And with that journey comes more struggle than living a ‘beige’ life, which both challenges and increases their confidence, simultaneously.

So when they do reach huge levels of success, there is always an underlying thought of ‘do I really deserve this?’

It. Happens. To. Everyone.

Remember that every single person you encounter has deep-rooted insecurities you know nothing about. Beautiful people, successful people, short, tall, fat, skinny, poor, exorbitantly wealthy, famous…

At the end of the day, we are all human beings who are walking our paths trying to figure out what in the blue hell we are doing. Often times, the people who look like they have it the MOST together, are the ones struggling behind the scenes.

So, don’t judge, be kind, and never put yourself down because it seems like everyone else has it all figured out.

They don’t.

This is why we can’t relate to people who pretend like they have it all together. People who tell us how great, or amazing, or smart they are. It seems like they live in a different reality from us, free of struggle. So, we can’t empathize with them. But have faith that, unless they are a sociopath, they secretly also face their own challenges which they are likely masking by portraying what they want to be a ‘flawless’ image.

There is no blueprint for your life. No predetermined path or outline to follow. There is literally nobody who has ever lived that had the exact set of circumstances you have. This means you are free to use the world as your own private superhero training facility and play, run, jump, explore, figure shit out as you go.

Just like everyone else is doing.



  1. rlcarterrn on January 7, 2018 at 9:40 am

    You are so right! Thank you for sharing this. Very important to remember, especially with all the “perfect people” we do see on social media these days.

  2. Jonathan on January 15, 2018 at 8:39 pm

    So, you’ve been watching some Jim Carrey YouTube videos to be a life expert? How scarry to think you could be someone’s “life coach”.

    • James Michael Sama on January 16, 2018 at 10:54 am

      What? Who said anything about any sort of expert? And what does “scarry” mean?

  3. Lola on January 22, 2018 at 5:43 pm

    Great insight!

  4. Rodrigo Kladwan on March 17, 2018 at 10:36 am

    Perfect. I needed to read this, thanks 😉

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