This Is Why Chivalry And Equality CAN Coexist


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June 5th, 2015 was the 2 year anniversary of this blog’s inception. During its growth and development I have had much feedback on my articles, both good and bad. One of the most consistent comments however, is from men who tell me that if women want equality, they should therefore not expect men to be chivalrous.


Can chivalry and equality actually coexist?

This – is never a question I thought I would find myself asking. However, I have learned about many different viewpoints in the world after writing previous blogs on the topic of chivalry and respect, and I find that many of them are opposite of my own.

Chivalry, by definition, is as follows:

noun, plural chivalries for 6.
1. The sum of the ideal qualifications of a knight, including courtesy, generosity, valor, and dexterity in arms.
2. The rules and customs of medieval knighthood.
3. The medieval system or institution of knighthood.
4. A group of knights.
5. Gallant warriors or gentlemen:
fair ladies and noble chivalry.

Note: Courtesy, generosity, and valor – in particular.

I find, when the occurrence does happen that people are ‘offended’ in some way by chivalry, there are some consistent reasons:

Women tend to feel that chivalry is outdated, and even chauvinistic. That it was born in an era where men did these types of things for women because they didn’t feel that the woman was physically capable of doing them. Perhaps hundreds of years ago, this was the view.

In modern day society – not so much.

Men feel as though it will put them in the ‘nice guy’ category, or the so-called friend zone. These men, I’ve found, have not yet experienced a mature woman who appreciates integrity and dignity in her choice of a partner. That, or they have gone overboard in the past. Being chivalrous does not mean being a doormat.


Chivalry, to me, is about respect. For me to open a woman’s car door or pull out her chair because I literally don’t think she is capable of doing it, would put me in a class of indescribable stupidity.

I do it because I care. Because I respect her. Because I want to find small things throughout the day that I can do, that send her a message. And any man worth his salt – does these things for the same reason.

I can sit beside a woman in a boardroom and fully expect her to be earning the same wages as I am, as well as fight for her right to do so. Socio-economic equality and rights are a different discussion outside everyday kindness towards our fellow humans.

Chivalry, as I’ve stated before, is manners. It’s politeness, and it isn’t only something men do for women.

Next time you see a man hold the door for another man, he is being chivalrous. Next time you come home from work and your significant other has dinner and wine ready for you, they are being chivalrous. Next time you see a parent carrying something for their child, they are being chivalrous.

Chivalry, I would argue, is not the enemy of equality – but a catalyst of it. Respect for others. Treating people right. Showing them that you care.

I’ve already pledged my efforts to lead the charge of The New Chivalry Movement – where I am dedicated to being polite and doing nice things for people, man or woman, on a daily basis.

So – do not be offended by kindness, for you will slowly strangle it in modern society. Do not be intolerant towards those with good intentions who want to help you – not because you need it, but because they want to. Do not infect the kindhearted with negativity and skepticism.


Simply embrace one another, and see chivalry for what it is – the mark of one human being performing a small act of kindness for another, with good intentions. There is enough negativity in the world, it’s time to celebrate the positive.


Click here to get my new e-book, The Modern Man’s Guide To Chivalry And Courtship!



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  1. DIY Diva Unleashed on June 15, 2015 at 1:25 pm

    Very good article and you are correct in your points in my opinion. No matter how hard I try, I cannot connect chivalry with equal pay regardless of gender. Lol … what does treating people well have to do with money? Truly appreciate your articles!

    • Mae on June 20, 2015 at 10:14 am

      If society truly respects females then they wouldn’t pay males more for the same job.

      • Zap on August 5, 2017 at 8:12 am

        And since women make more – it looks like society does respect “females”.

      • Rick O'Shay on April 5, 2019 at 4:00 am

        Only on paper are they the “same job”.

        Take warehouse jobs for example; the man and woman have the same title and the same hours, therefore people like you think they are doing the same work, and thus should be paid the same.

        Except what you either don’t know or care about is the fact that whenever a box is deemed heavy, or a shelf is deemed high, the company orders the guy to do the extra-effort, so why should he NOT be paid more?

  2. made58 on June 15, 2015 at 2:06 pm

    Reblogged this on HelpingOthersHelpThemselves.

  3. elenaruiz2 on June 15, 2015 at 3:48 pm

    Reblogged this on cautivadulce.

  4. nilza on June 15, 2015 at 8:10 pm

    I really enjoy reading this article because I think chivalry is the most beautiful thing in a man.As you said only a mature woman can appreciate that.Chivalry is alive and well!

    • Zap on August 5, 2017 at 8:12 am

      “Mature” means old.
      Guys are not into that shit.

  5. Moni on June 16, 2015 at 1:46 am

    Well said my friend. Chivalry is not dead in those whom have respect for others as well as for themselves. And for those who look down there nose at it, look down there nose at pure kindness and thus don’t deserve it.

  6. Lexy on June 16, 2015 at 11:27 am

    dudes that open doors for women mostly immediately check out their ass

  7. Vesper Woolf on June 17, 2015 at 11:05 am

    Reblogged this on The Burning Times of Vesper Woolf and commented:
    Mr. Sama puts it in better words than I. Yes, equality and good manners comes as a package deal. This is partly what feminism is about – treating girls and women with decency and kindness. Being a gentleman or lady is just being a decent human being. Having a sense of decorum doesn’t mean you can’t ever drop an “F” bomb. It means you have a filter, and an understanding that there’s a time and place for the formal and the informal.

  8. allan on September 13, 2015 at 12:29 am

    Woman can pay for dates.
    I dont like gold digger.
    Equality please.

    • Zap on August 5, 2017 at 8:13 am

      Suck it up for “equality”, you misogynist shitlord sexist chaivinist pig !
      God-digging women deserve your money because oppression…or something…

  9. stump on November 24, 2015 at 1:57 pm

    I don’t think the problem lies with the existance of chivalry, but with the expectations of it. Alot of men feel obligated to be chivalrous, and alot of women expect it from men. And there lies the problem. Chivalry shouldnt feel like something you have to do, or even expect from another person. People should do it because they want to make somebody feel nice, and that’s almost never the case anymore these days.

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