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Modern Relationships And The Future Of Dating

FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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This is a guest post by a fantastic writer and blogger, Anastasia Podolskaya. I recently met Anastasia at an event in Boston and we started talking about how similar the themes of my blog and her blog are (You can check hers out here). She has some great things to say and I wanted to share them with all of you. Enjoy!

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Relationships are inevitable, and for the most part, unavoidable. They take work, endurance, understanding, and most importantly, compromise. They bring us comfort, joy, fulfillment and equal parts frustration. They reflect who we are as friends, lovers, companions and most of all- people.

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Today, the problem with relationships isn’t a lack of having them, but the desire in maintaining them. Like anything, relationships need constant work. Work involves time, time involves energy and energy is exhausted through action. For many of us relationship nomads, action is by far the strongest yet hardest factor to balance into this complex paradigm. We’ve prioritized temporary wants as a basic standard of survival, and our commitment and loyalties to others have slowly shifted. The variations of welcoming weekend distractions have become acceptable means of short-term resolve.

What I have found after years of extensive research and many late night calls with friends, is that relationships have taken a back burner to our present day “priorities.” Our generation isn’t hungry for love, but rather status. We spend our time dressing ourselves and not our souls; nurturing hangovers, but not our hearts; and getting caught up in the crowds only to lose ourselves in the masses. We’re so quick to critique and label others, that we often stray from our own paths of self discovery.

Naturally, with the decrease in relationship shelf life on the rise, the criteria for a stable one seems far out of reach. People have simply given up on “forever” because tonight seems much more promising. Happiness is now delivered through material possessions and real conversations have simply dissolved into the world of texting. The talk of D-list celebrities and Miley’s “twerk team” leave little to no room for real world conversations. (Remind me again why I’m paying for student loans?)

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So here’s my advice. Guys, if you find a good girl – keep her. Invest in her and find time in your “crazy” schedule to be with her. Step away from the gym, work and weekend benders to be with her. SHOW her how important she is to you. And to the girls, stop comparing everyone to your ex boyfriend. Put the baggage down and start packing for the future. Stop dwelling and start doing. Stop doubting and start believing. Trust me, there are some keepers out there.

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5 Comments

  1. Kathryn on July 30, 2014 at 1:42 pm

    I love the last paragraph where she says “stop doubting and start believing.” I know in my dating life, I’ve had so many bad experiences I automatically doubt the new people I meet instead of believing they could actually be a good guy.

  2. rlcarterrn on July 30, 2014 at 3:03 pm

    “Our generation isn’t hungry for love, but rather status. We spend our time dressing ourselves and not our souls; nurturing hangovers, but not our hearts; and getting caught up in the crowds only to lose ourselves in the masses.,,People have simply given up on “forever” because tonight seems much more promising.” Wow, I love this. Sadly, it is so true. I see it around me all the time. I’m so blessed & thankful to have found my husband at such a young age (met in middle school) & to still be happily with him after all these years (celebrating 3 years of marriage today!).

  3. Joe on July 30, 2014 at 4:18 pm

    I read this, I read your article on the hookup generation, and I read an article on Elite Daily by Erica Gordon called “How Accepting The Hook-Up Culture Is Getting 20-Somethings Nowhere” all in the same hour. And I gotta say, as a guy who’s about to turn 22, I’m freakin out. I’m starting to wonder if there’s anyone my age interested in actually building a real relationship.

  4. Ace "The Lady" Maverick on July 30, 2014 at 10:38 pm

    Love this!!

  5. sharon on August 18, 2014 at 7:19 pm

    I love this too and Joe im 47 im wondering whats happened to people wanting a relationship???? even at
    my age, guys just want to hook up grrrr im over it but im not settling for that and ill still wait for a man or keeper.

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FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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