This is a guest post by a fantastic writer and blogger, Anastasia Podolskaya. I recently met Anastasia at an event in Boston and we started talking about how similar the themes of my blog and her blog are (You can check hers out here). She has some great things to say and I wanted to share them with all of you. Enjoy!
Relationships are inevitable, and for the most part, unavoidable. They take work, endurance, understanding, and most importantly, compromise. They bring us comfort, joy, fulfillment and equal parts frustration. They reflect who we are as friends, lovers, companions and most of all- people.
Today, the problem with relationships isn’t a lack of having them, but the desire in maintaining them. Like anything, relationships need constant work. Work involves time, time involves energy and energy is exhausted through action. For many of us relationship nomads, action is by far the strongest yet hardest factor to balance into this complex paradigm. We’ve prioritized temporary wants as a basic standard of survival, and our commitment and loyalties to others have slowly shifted. The variations of welcoming weekend distractions have become acceptable means of short-term resolve.
What I have found after years of extensive research and many late night calls with friends, is that relationships have taken a back burner to our present day “priorities.” Our generation isn’t hungry for love, but rather status. We spend our time dressing ourselves and not our souls; nurturing hangovers, but not our hearts; and getting caught up in the crowds only to lose ourselves in the masses. We’re so quick to critique and label others, that we often stray from our own paths of self discovery.
Naturally, with the decrease in relationship shelf life on the rise, the criteria for a stable one seems far out of reach. People have simply given up on “forever” because tonight seems much more promising. Happiness is now delivered through material possessions and real conversations have simply dissolved into the world of texting. The talk of D-list celebrities and Miley’s “twerk team” leave little to no room for real world conversations. (Remind me again why I’m paying for student loans?)
So here’s my advice. Guys, if you find a good girl – keep her. Invest in her and find time in your “crazy” schedule to be with her. Step away from the gym, work and weekend benders to be with her. SHOW her how important she is to you. And to the girls, stop comparing everyone to your ex boyfriend. Put the baggage down and start packing for the future. Stop dwelling and start doing. Stop doubting and start believing. Trust me, there are some keepers out there.
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