Before the flurry of comments begins about how women cheat too, and how I’m just a man-basher…let me just say that I am also a man, and I understand that women cheat too. That’s a different article for a different time, this one, is about men.
This is about men who think cheating is excusable. Those who think that betraying the trust of someone who has committed themselves to you physically, mentally, and emotionally – will be easily forgotten. Out of sight, out of mind. That is…if you even get caught.
But, it’s not that simple. Your actions are much like a blizzard: The effects of the storm linger and require cleanup long after the storm itself has dissipated. Here are five things to keep in mind if you’re tempted to cheat.
They’ll feel worthless.
I, thankfully, have never been cheated on. But I have spoken to many people who have. A common theme is that it often makes them feel unworthy. That they aren’t good enough. That they are somehow to blame. That it is their fault.
These are not just feelings that go away, these are insecurities that are often embedded in our emotional makeup for some time. To feel not only inadequate for the person you’ve given your love to, but that they can so easily discard your feelings for the sake of a fling with someone else, is beyond hurtful.
Is the temporary physical satisfaction worth the lying, hiding, and hurting someone you “care” about?
They may want you even more.
Don’t get the wrong idea here. Cheating is by no means whatsoever positive or a way to rekindle the spark in a relationship. But, this could be a possible reason why women go back to men who have cheated on them when nobody else can figure out an explanation.
Think about jealousy. Think about seeing someone else flirting with your significant other. Think about how that makes you want to hold them closer. To show that you are the one who is with them. (Obsessive jealousy is unhealthy, but we can still be protective of those we love without overdoing it.)
In a situation where someone is cheated on, it will undoubtedly cause them to start picturing the physical act, no matter how hard they try to block it out. This can stir an endless amount of emotions, one of which could be possessiveness, urging them to hold onto you even tighter.
*Note – If you have been cheated on and felt this, please realize these are the emotions influencing your actions, and you deserve someone who will show you the same loyalty that you show them.
You might open the flood gates of anger.
“Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned” and there are few worse ways to ignite a woman’s internal fire than to betray her after she has been loyal to you. Everyone deals with situations like this differently, and you will never know what the repercussions will be until you cross the line.
I’d venture a guess to say that the woman who brought you happiness for however long, could also bring a hurricane of misery to your life. You will very quickly realize your actions were hardly worth the fleeting pleasure.
They’ll stop trusting people.
At least for awhile. And who can blame them? They trusted you. They put their faith in you. They gave themselves to you physically and emotionally. And after some time if your feelings faded or if you wanted to break it off, you didn’t even have the courage to confront her directly – you took the cowardly way out and cheated.
How is she supposed to trust the next guy she meets? What if he really is her knight in shining armor but she pokes holes in his genuineness because she refuses to believe a good man can actually exist?
As a side note, you’ve also betrayed your fellow men because you’ve given us a bad name when we did nothing to deserve it.
She will destroy your reputation.
Just keep in mind – women tell their friends everything. And when one of them is betrayed, all of them are betrayed. It should be no secret to anyone that social media has brought a voice to everyone and causes news to permeate society at the speed of light.
Of course some people would prefer keeping their personal affairs (no pun intended) private and won’t discuss it on a public forum, but simple word of mouth between friends can have just as drastic an effect. If word spreads far enough, your reputation will precede you and you’ll be hard pressed to find a good woman who will trust you, when she already knows of your shenanigans.
And…do you deserve one anyway?
I fully believe that not everyone cheats. Not every man, and not every woman. I’ve never cheated on anyone, and would much rather end the relationship first rather than doing so anyway.
Always remember, love, real love, is a product of honesty, trust, and mutual respect. Someone who truly loves you will not betray you, especially repeatedly. Can people change? Perhaps, if a lesson has been learned, but generally – going back to someone who cheated on you is like reading an old book and expecting it to end differently.
You’re better off writing it a bad review, and heading back to the bookstore.
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