There is a difference between being a good guy, and “the nice guy” – there’s even a difference between being A nice guy, and the nice guy.
A good guy with the right characteristics will capture a woman’s attention, especially in a world where many men think they have to be a jerk in order to “win the dating game.”
I believe the gentleman is the new bad boy. The New Chivalry Movement is underway and women are voicing their desires to find men who actually possess dignity and class.
So, why are you still single? Here are 5 signs you’re being too nice, and not being taken seriously.
You’d rather have her walk all over you than walk away from you.
Some men will do literally whatever it takes to keep a woman around. They want so badly to be in a relationship that they’re willing to say anything that agrees with her opinion in order to avoid conflict.
Women want a man who knows what he wants. A man who has his own identity, and is willing to stand by his values and beliefs. A relationship isn’t about being with an exact clone of yourself, but with someone who you can grow and learn from – and if all you do is nod your head and agree, you won’t keep her intellectual attention for very long.
You’re so nice, you never make a move.
Are you risking making a woman uncomfortable if you try to “make a move”? Sure…but nothing good comes without a risk, my friend. And, the alternative is willingly keeping yourself in the friend zone by never making your intentions known.
Relationships are a lot like the lottery – you might have to lose a lot before you finally win, but you’ll never win if you don’t play.
You’re a giant man-child.
Times are tough these days and not everyone has their life figured out, myself included. But, there are certain things that should be let go of by a certain age. Ratty t-shirts and old sneakers are a good start to the list. While everyone has their own style preferences, there is a clean and well-put together way to pull off any of them. Try not to look like you’ve rolled out of bed for an early college class if you’re pushing 30.
If you have no direction in life, find yourself bumming rides off of people constantly, or are partying more nights a week than you stay in, it’s going to be more of a challenge for a self respecting woman to commit her time to you.
A mature, established woman will know it’s a bad idea to plan a future with someone who doesn’t have a future planned for themselves.
Your reputation precedes you.
Social media takes away a lot of the guess work when it comes to dating or meeting someone new. The world continues to get smaller and smaller, and people tend to be familiar with “strangers” more so than in the past.
You may be proud of your ability to go out and pick up girls on the weekends, but if this is the brand you’ve created for yourself, when you finally find a woman who piques your interest, you’ll be dead in the water if she knows of your shenanigans.
Any guy can go out on the weekend with one goal in mind, but it takes a good man with depth and integrity to keep a woman’s attention – so that’s who she’ll be looking for.
You’re too in love with yourself.
When people say that you must love yourself before you love another, they’re not suggesting that you become self-absorbed or give yourself compliments in the mirror. Loving yourself is about recognizing your own value and not settling for less in any area of life.
No self-respecting woman is going to want to compete for your attention…against you. Also, someone who is too caught up in themselves can be a sign of immaturity and inability to care for others. Needless to say – none of this is attractive to someone who is looking to build a solid foundation for a relationship.
The women of our generation do not need a man, and any modern man should be able to realize that. Our goal in a relationship should not be to fill a need, but a want. A desire. To bring additional happiness. Standards are being raised, and therefore what we demand from ourselves must as well.
As men, we must be assertive enough to pursue what we want, but with enough kindness and class to not drive someone away. The fact of the matter is, even if we find the woman we’ve been searching for years for, it will do us no good if she is not interested in us.
Instead of focusing on finding the right woman, focus more on becoming the right man, and she will find you.
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