5 Ways To Keep A Keeper

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In this day and age, good people are hard to find. What’s even harder, is finding a good person who you can connect with intimately, and vice versa.

Gentlemen, when it comes to relationships, we can do better. We have to do better. If we want to be happy, and to make our women happy, we need to step our game up and do what it takes to hold on to a good woman when we do find one.

Needless to say, there are infinite ways to do this, but here are five to start with.

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Communicate with her.

Communication is the key to solidifying multiple parts of a relationship. What makes you happy? What are you going through that you need help with? How can your significant other support you?

Men, we are notorious for not expressing our feelings effectively, but how else do you expect to bond and build a solid relationship with your woman? A good woman will be willing to be your teammate and partner in life, but you have to let her into your thoughts so she knows how.

Women, this goes both ways.

Always be improving yourself.

Today’s modern man is faced with endless opportunities to learn and grow. There is more information on the internet than he can absorb in a lifetime, and more books than he could fit in his home. A good woman, especially one who enjoys reading and absorbing new information, will want someone who can keep up with and challenge her intellectually.

There is so much emphasis these days on improving one’s body, that we often overlook improving the mind.

Don’t fall into a routine, because a routine shows apathy. Surprise her. Show her that you love her by continuing to be better than you were yesterday and better than the rest.

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Appreciate her. 

This one is simple, but rare. A good woman will bring value and happiness to your life. But, sometimes, people don’t truly recognize the things you do for them until you stop doing them. Make sure she knows that you’re not like that – and that you take the time to show her that you appreciate who she is.

Never take a good woman for granted. Someday, someone will come along and appreciate what you didn’t.

Take the extra step.

In a recent article, we discussed some statistics about men and chivalry. The percentages of men who practice chivalrous acts of respect and courtesy such as pulling out chairs or carrying heavy bags, are so low it’s staggering.

Fellow gentlemen, women are wondering where you’ve disappeared to. A good woman who respects herself will only give her time to a man who shows her an equal or greater level of respect. She does not learn this about you through your words – but through your actions. It does not cost you more than a few seconds to place yourself above the likes of the common man who didn’t meet her standards.

The effort will be worth it.

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Empower her.

A strong, ambitious woman will have goals and dreams for herself and her future. She is right to not tolerate anyone who will bring her down or discourage her. This goes for friends, as well as the men she accepts into her life.

To be supportive and encouraging, while pursuing your own goals, will show her that you are strong enough to stand beside her, as she does for you. A man who shows insecurity around an independent woman will never hold her attention in the long term.

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Some, or all of the things on this list may seem small to some who read it. Ah, but aren’t the small things the ones that count? If a man or woman isn’t willing to put in the effort to do the small things, how are you supposed to trust them to put in the effort to do the big things?

What if you become sick, need them to take care of you, or need to trust them with an important matter?

Relationships are a marathon, not a sprint, much like a brick building is not built in a day. But over time by laying brick, after brick, after brick.

Over time, you find yourself with a structure able to withstand any storm. Start building.

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10 Comments

  1. jhazi on December 21, 2013 at 3:28 pm

    The constantly improving one is very important! Partners have a tendency to let themselves go & get comfortable which can cause the others to happen…feeling less appreciated, not trying to go the extra mile, etc.

    So glad I stumbled onto this blog, you’re awesome!

  2. erinkcamp on December 21, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    Reblogged this on erin.k.camp and commented:
    Yes. Just yes.

  3. Matt on December 21, 2013 at 8:38 pm

    Hit it on the head yet again James.

  4. Travis Glanzer on December 22, 2013 at 7:08 pm

    James,

    Your post is calling for codependency.

    The women have to come to the table too. That is what’s missing in society right now.

    Travis

    Date: Sat, 21 Dec 2013 18:18:01 +0000 To: travisglanzer@hotmail.com

    • Alexandria Jeanette Meyer on January 13, 2014 at 6:42 pm

      I completely agree with you. There has been such a huge push for ‘independence’ in relationships, especially pertaining to women, however when in a relationship a couple should be interdependent upon each other. 🙂

  5. southernyetsingle on December 23, 2013 at 8:54 am

    Reblogged this on Whiskey In a Teacup.

  6. sbdiaries on December 23, 2013 at 10:29 am

    Love this post!!

  7. Brit on January 13, 2014 at 5:01 pm

    I’m in a relationship now… He doesn’t do any of these things anymoe and I’ve explained time and time again the importance of all of the above. I have given up. If he could/would do these things, I would do absolutely anything for him. I always did everything for him, but you can only go so long without expecting anything in return. It’s a two way street.

    • Ges on March 8, 2014 at 10:05 pm

      You sound frustrated. He might not be the one for you.

  8. Ges on March 8, 2014 at 10:11 pm

    Back to the article: Why do women always have to be independent? As a woman all I would really want would be someone who would love me enough to be willing to TAKE CARE of me and who would give me the opportunity to take care of him. If a woman wants to be independent I respect her choice but for me this having to be the independent, successful carreer woman is nothing but a huge burden for which I hate feminists.

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