The Art Of Being A Gentleman


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I often find myself wondering what makes a ‘real man.’ I’m sure I’m not the only one who has seen funny little pictures with words on them floating around Facebook talking about what a ‘real man’ is, but those are usually crap and are used to get attention. They rarely carry any substance.

I am by no means an expert, but I observe and learn as much as I can from men who I feel are worthy of respect, admiration, and living a good life.  In this article I’ll outline a few of these characteristics.


A gentleman shows others respect.

Easy. Simple. Basic. But, often overlooked. A true gentleman will show respect to everyone around him. He will not be condescending or put anyone down, regardless of intelligence level or professional position. As the saying goes, ‘a man of quality is not afraid of equality.’

A gentleman is chivalrous, but not just towards women. Towards everyone.

A gentleman praises others.

People love being around a positive person. A gentleman easily spots positive traits in others as well, and doesn’t hesitate to point them out. A gentleman will never break you down, only build you up. He will make you feel like a superhero, and that you can accomplish anything (because you can).


A gentleman cares about his appearance.

I don’t mean going to get manicures or always dressing in a suit and tie, but a gentleman will pay attention to how he presents himself to others. He understands that it doesn’t only show respect for himself, but also for those around him. He could be wearing anything from a t-shirt to a tuxedo, but the level of class he exudes will shine through it all.

A gentleman puts others first.

There is no room among the gentlemanly for the selfish. There is no room for those who believe climbing the ladder means stepping on others along the way. There is no room for those who mistreat others for their own benefit, or any reason at all. A gentleman isn’t kind to people because of who they are, he is kind to people because of who he is.

A gentleman will respect other men, women, children, and animals – and treat them with kindness. There is no need for a confident man to hurt another being in any way, as he gains nothing from it.


A gentleman is cool, calm, and collected.

You won’t find a gentleman stressing or freaking out over trivial matters. He will handle them with an even tone, and dignity.

A gentleman admits when he’s wrong.

If you are always right, there is nothing left to learn (hint, there is always something left to learn). A gentleman realizes this and won’t put his pride above self-improvement.

To outline all characteristics of a gentleman would be a novel, not a blog post. What other traits or qualities do you feel exemplify what a ‘real man’ is all about? Share your thoughts in the comments below or tweet me at @JamesMSama.

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  1. […] The Art Of Being A Gentleman […]

  2. Patent Attorney on November 6, 2013 at 11:11 am

    Interesting post! I do like to see a man well dressed I’ve got to say…

  3. Andrew Pena on November 13, 2013 at 12:47 pm

    Man I love this stuff keep it coming

  4. Fred on November 15, 2013 at 3:24 am

    You SUCK JMS!

    • Goddess Bella Donna on November 27, 2013 at 8:02 pm

      Perfect example and point right here… Guess who isn’t a Gentlemen, but probably never claimed to be one either. Go you – guy

  5. denib14 on November 20, 2013 at 10:56 am

    A gentleman chooses his words carefully and takes the time to build uo his vocabulary so as not to have to resort to profanity or crude utterances?

  6. The Art Of Being A Gentleman | RichWithSuccess on November 25, 2013 at 9:04 am

    […] The Art Of Being A Gentleman. […]

  7. Steven on February 24, 2014 at 11:24 am

    I realize not all people subscribe to a belief system, but I personally believe that a gentleman is largely characterized by his commitment to his faith if claims to be a believer. In essence, being a gentleman is being true to oneself and others. If you claim to be a Christian or any other believer, as a gentleman, your conviction should be evident to those around you. Not in an obtrusive way, but in a calm, confident display of your faith. Any man is only as true as his faith for that alone should shape his character.

    • deborahgick on May 27, 2014 at 7:16 am

      ABSOLUTELY right! It’s God shining thru us. He, after all, is the truest gentleman.

  8. SK on March 8, 2014 at 8:33 am

    Sadly to say that I actually notice that a lot of the guys in my class refuse to admit their mistakes. There’s one in my class who actually found lots of excuses for throwing tantrum, destroying the house door and did not clerk the patient without informing the group leader. The other criteria of gentlemen mentioned in your blog – cares about appearance. I noticed that some guys didn’t even brush their teeth before going out for breakfast and simply gave kiddo excuses by saying that drinking coffee can cover their stinky mouths. Gentlemen are hard to come across nowadays.

  9. deborahgick on May 27, 2014 at 7:59 am

    James, I’m so thankful for your FB page. It’s a daily reminder to me that I married a “true gentleman” in every sense of the word. Thankful I had a grandfather who practiced each one (and a few more) of the things you list for being a true gentleman. Thank you for being a leader in bringing this back into our society. You are greatly appreciated

  10. sebz on June 2, 2014 at 4:55 am

    James…ooh couldnt help smiling as I read this one. I simply love gentleman…and how I wish more and more guys would read this!

    thanks a million!

  11. Sam on February 2, 2015 at 6:52 am

    This is a great article and offers amazing advice. There is definitely not one I would disagree with.

    However I do believe “A gentleman puts others first.” requires just a little more explanation because if you take this to heart and go to the extreme you will have no time for yourself and people could eaily take advantage of your good nature.

    You should also put yourself first. Help others, of course but always have time for yourself too. Your success shouldn’t come at the price of others, but others peoples success should come at the price of yours either. It should be a win/win situation for all those involved.

    Hold youself in high regard, hold others in high regard 🙂

    Awesome article!

  12. […] It separates the “men from the boys”. I also found an article online by James Michael Sama, “The Art of Being a Gentleman” and of course there are more ways to learn. But first, start by practicing on yourself—before […]

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