Why Your Relationship Can Make or Break You


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When we choose the people we want to commit ourselves to intimately, it’s important to realize that the intimate alone time we are going to spend with them is not the only part of our life they will have an impact on.


The support and encouragement received from a significant other carries a different kind of weight than that from a friend or family member. This is someone who should also be your best friend and head cheerleader.

A clear sign of a healthy relationship is when their presence in your life alone will motivate you to become the best version of yourself – without changing who you really are.

This includes personal as well as professional development. To always be improving. Striving for success. Wanting the best for you and for them. Not just for financial reasons, but because it will strengthen you as a couple as well.


You’ll have things to celebrate together, and you’ll also have someone to comfort you during your defeats. Having a strong, healthy relationship can be the cornerstone for a successful life.

However, it’s also important to realize that this person will have significant power to pull you down, if you let them.

If your boyfriend or girlfriend is overly controlling, you can feel a restraint on your mental freedom to do what you need to do in order to succeed.


If you’re never ‘allowed’ to be away from them or do the things you love that allow you to release stress, you can easily fall into negative routines and patterns, which will destroy your motivation, and hurt you in the long run.

It can easily weaken, or completely destroy your relationships with your friends. And your lowered motivation can demolish your professional productivity.

The second you feel any of this happening, it’s absolutely imperative to either take massive action in order to change your circumstances, or leave the relationship completely.


There are many clear signs of a toxic relationship, but none of them will matter unless you are honest enough with yourself to see them, and act on them.

Dependency and infatuation can easily be mistaken for love. If you don’t trust someone and feel held back by them more than you feel encouraged by them, it’s time to be honest with yourself and do something about it. Just because someone desires you, does not mean that they value you.

The right person will never make you sacrifice your happiness or what gives it to you – they will encourage you to pursue it whether they share your passion or not.


Ask yourself what is really important, and then have the wisdom and courage to build your life around your answer.

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  1. June on January 13, 2016 at 11:48 pm

    What if your husband never stands up for you but always the other person. Like his mother or daugther ? And what about feeling emotionally battered ?

    • Arla on May 11, 2016 at 1:59 am

      It sounds like your hubby is acting like an ass, and needs you to leave for a while, in order for him to be able to appreciate you. James is a great writer, but he speaks from a single man’s point of view, not a married woman’s point of view! He speaks of the ideal, which is GREAT: but not always befitting many people’s tough situations.

      All the best, to you. Stay strong, and know that you deserve respect.

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