The Reason Why Relationships Fade


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Do you remember the first few months of your relationship? When the sparks were flying and you couldn’t keep your hands off of each other? But now, you find yourself going through the motions, no longer as excited as you were to see him/her, seemingly just passing time.


It doesn’t have to be that way.

Obviously, there are many reasons that some relationships fade over time, but one reason is often prevalent:


Comfort, I’ve always said, is the enemy of progress. It is also the enemy of romance.

Don’t get me wrong, being comfortable with someone is the very foundation of a healthy relationship, especially for women. If a woman feels uncomfortable around you, it doesn’t matter if you’re Channing Tatum, she’ll be running the other way.

Mutual comfort that causes you both to lose the desire to continue courting each other, however, can be the downfall.


When you stop doing what it took to get him or her in the first place, you’re openly admitting you sent your ‘representative’ on your first few dates.

The representative who had no intention of continuing the small, romantic habits after you were in a relationship.

I saw a woman say once, when referring to a man opening doors: “That will stop after a couple of months into the relationship.” There is no reason whatsoever for this to ever stop. Common courtesies towards each other don’t go out of style.

You’ve got to keep going to nice dinners. Keep learning and laughing together. Keep getting dressed up for each other.


There is no reason to stop. You had the time to do it all in the beginning, you can make the time now.

Too much comfort will cause eyes, and minds, to wander. The last thing you want is for your partner to be bored in your relationship. It will bring negativity into the mix and slowly pull you both apart.

Don’t let your boyfriend or girlfriend forget what attracted them to you in the first place. It’s the small things that count. Nice gestures for no reason, showing that you care about them. It doesn’t even have to cost money – you probably know what makes them smile; do more of it.


One thing is for certain: if the relationship you’re in is boring, they’re not the one you’re supposed to be with.

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  1. crissybwell on August 5, 2013 at 9:32 am

    This is so very true. If you would give me permission can I re-blog this to my “Follow My Heart” blog?

    It’s funny because my boyfriend said the same thing about getting comfortable, that is one thing that he is scared of, but love is love and if you keep it growing than you should have no fears, I think 🙂 Thanks again for the great post.

    • James Michael Sama on August 5, 2013 at 9:33 am

      Please feel free to reblog anytime! Thank you for reading and I appreciate your positive feedback. 🙂

      – JMS

      • crissybwell on August 5, 2013 at 9:35 am

        Thank you for that 😉 I will have to remember there, there are many posts that I find helpful and I will definitely share from time to time. Hope you have a wonderful Monday 🙂

  2. crissybwell on August 5, 2013 at 9:37 am

    Reblogged this on Follow My Heart and commented:
    I have truly enjoyed reading his posts and look forward to many more just like this one. He has some great relationship advice and thoughts. I felt like this one was just spot on and had to share.
    Relationships are hard and complicated but if you always work at them then they can last a lifetime. Anything that is worth anything in this life is worth working for and never giving up on, especially and including love 🙂 Enjoy!

  3. Stara Jean on November 25, 2013 at 6:17 pm

    So, where does commitment come into “if it’s boring…” Maybe, if it’s boring and you love someone, you get off your butt and start trying if you’ve made the mistake of letting it go stale? I’d hate to think my boyfriend would just dump me if he got bored. In fact, if he did, I would know he was cad and didn’t deserve me.

  4. made58 on August 8, 2016 at 10:03 pm

    Reblogged this on HelpingOthersHelpThemselves.

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