I will be speaking more on the general cluelessness of men in dating these days in upcoming posts – but first, women, you have to understand that being approached and courted by a gentleman is not a right or an entitlement – it’s a privilege.
It takes a surprising amount of courage for a man to approach a woman he doesn’t know, no matter how much confidence he has – especially considering the dismal success rate for such an act.
If you are looking for a smart, educated, established man, you’ve got to project the qualities that will attract someone of that stature.
I hate to say this, but we all know it’s true: You will be judged by your Facebook profile. If you’ve ever been ecstatic about talking to a new guy who finally has the qualities you want, but then he suddenly disappears – and your tagged photos look like an episode of Jersey Shore, you may have found the problem.
Of course I’m generalizing here, but many of the men that I hear women say that they want, are past the crazy party phase in their lives and want someone more mature.
If you’re not portraying this, why would he be interested?
Have your own identity. A woman with her own passions, dreams, and goals is attractive to a man who has the same. I’m personally not a fan of a woman who is emphatic that she doesn’t need a man. We know you don’t need us, but we want you to want us.
A successful man will know he could never plan a future with someone who has no future plans for themselves.
Elevate your company. If I were to be interested in a girl and took a look through some photos of her with her friends – I could quickly come to the conclusion of whether or not I would fit in with her crowd. The people you choose to spend time with speak volumes about your own personality and self worth.
Spend time in the right places. An addition to the above point is that if you are spending a lot of your time in bars or clubs that attract more of a college-aged crowd, not only are your chances of meeting the man you want greatly diminished, but your chances of keeping him around once you suggest “goin down to da bahh for some beeahs” greatly diminish as well.
You should never change who you are for the sake of finding someone to be with, because then they won’t be getting to know the real you, and it’ll be doomed in the long run. But, you can work to improve yourself and advance your own life in order to be more attractive to those who have the qualities you want.
Be sure you’re not spending time around the wrong people who are holding you back from what you truly want in life.
We often feel as though we lose friends by choosing to advance when they don’t – but we’re really just learning who belongs in our lives, and who doesn’t.
Stay classy, ladies.