First date basics: Do’s and Don’ts


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I know some of these will probably be painfully simple – but you’d be surprised how often they go overlooked.

You had what it takes to score yourself a first date, now make sure you do what it takes for a second one.

As crazy as some of this might sound, some of this blog post is inspired by actual stories from actual girls who had actual experiences.

  • Do – Guys, pick her up. 
  • Don’t – Make her meet you at your destination.

Put in the extra effort, don’t make her take a cab or take her own car – plus, what if you’ve got two cars and the date is going well so you go back home together. Are you going to follow each other? Awkward.

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  • Do – Dress appropriately for the occasion.
  • Don’t – Dress like you’re going to the gym or sitting around the house. (C’mon man).

Chances are, the woman you’re taking out is going to put some serious effort into how she looks (make sure you notice and compliment her). Show her the respect of doing the same.

  • Do – Open the car door for her.
  • Don’t – Watch her stand there waiting for you to open it while you go around your side.

Chivalry never goes out of style. The small things speak volumes.


  • Do – Feel free to order a couple of drinks (or a few, depending on your tolerance).
  • Don’t – Go overboard and get sloppy. And definitely don’t show up already drunk.

This should be obvious. Know your limits. 

  • Do – Be polite to the waiter/waitress/anyone you meet.
  • Don’t – Be impatient or rude, any ‘nice person’ who isn’t nice to the waiter, is not a nice person.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to be rude to anyone. Keep calm and be polite, simple mistakes aren’t that serious, and are certainly not ruining a night over.

  • Do – Keep the conversation light and casual. Find out each other’s interests, but it’s not an interview or a plan for the future.
  • Don’t – Talk about how beautiful your kids are going to be.

Whoa, slow down! Too much too soon – trying to name your kids on the first date is a great way to make sure there isn’t a second date.

  • Do – Show up on time.
  • Don’t – Keep him or her waiting, you only get one first impression.

Simple respect!

  • Do – Keep your phone in your pocket.
  • Don’t – Make your date feel like your Facebook or email is more important than they are.

We get it, you’re super important and that email needs to be answered immediately at 8:00 on a Friday night. I didn’t recognize you there Mr. Obama.


  • Do – Pick up the tab, guys.
  • Do – Offer to split it, girls.

A first date should absolutely under no circumstances have the bill split. Unless of course, that’s where you want the relationship to end. Don’t take a woman somewhere you can’t afford to pay for.

  • Don’t – Accept the offer, guys (seriously).
  • Don’t – Agree to a 2nd date if he accepts the offer, girls.

A respectful woman will offer to pay half, and will most likely reach for her wallet. This is out of courtesy and should never be taken seriously by a man. Show her appreciation that she made the gesture, but that’s as far as it goes.

  • Do – Tell the truth.
  • Don’t – Lie.

This one is followed less often than you’d think. Knock it off.

  • Do – Ask genuine questions and attempt to learn about the other person.
  • Don’t – Make it all about you.

You have two ears and one mouth for a reason – listen twice as much as you speak. “What’s your favorite movie?” is not a question to ask someone you’re truly trying to get to know. Be genuine and show your interest.

  • Do – Go for the kiss.
  • Don’t – Wimp out.

Going for the kiss on the first date will show your intentions clearly off the bat and will leave no room for question or insecurity if nobody makes a move. Guys, it will also keep you out of the dreaded friend zone. If she’s interested and kisses back, you’re in, because friends don’t kiss. If she’s not and she just goes for a hug, you know where you stand, early on.

Your first date is your only real opportunity to gain this person’s interest, but make sure you’re genuine about it. We all put our best foot forward to make a good impression, but don’t send your ‘representative’ who isn’t really what you’re all about.

And really, have some common sense. Be a gentleman (or a lady), Respect boundaries. Don’t be clingy. Don’t be weird. Don’t make him/her feel uncomfortable. It really is that easy!

Let me know how date two goes.

Do you have any crazy first date stories? Comment them below or tweet me at @JamesMSama!

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1 Comment

  1. Kerae on December 17, 2013 at 11:23 am

    Great advice!

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