11 Things Women Want To Hear


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@Rachel.Xtina and @JamesMSama

(Hint: NOT how “hot” she is).

What makes for a meaningful compliment? Most men, when complimenting women, resort to remarks about appearance or a victory in the genetic lottery based simply on luck.

Women, particularly on social media, hear how beautiful they are all the time. Random men leave compliments on photos, send messages on dating apps, and slide into the DMs trying to set themselves apart.

The truth is that compliments about appearance are lazy. Yes, you should make sure the woman you’re with knows that you think she’s beautiful, or sexy, or stunning — or whatever she values most.

But, if you really want to touch her heart and soul and show her that you truly see her for who she is, you’ll have to start thinking on a whole other level.

Here are 11 meaningful compliments the woman in your life will never forget.

Disclaimer: Only give compliments you truly mean and that come from the heart. Relationships are no place for manipulation or manufactured love. If you don’t feel it internally, don’t say it externally.

1: “I’m inspired by your strength.”

A man who’s fully secure in himself will be inspired by a woman’s strength, not intimidated by it.

And the truth is, there is a lot to be inspired by.

If you really take the time to learn about her, her journey, and the things she’s overcome to get where she is, you’re likely going to find a variety of instances where she had to push through challenges that would’ve stopped many other people in their tracks — male or female.

Overcoming these challenges are part of what make someone who they are, and recognizing the strength they’ve displayed makes them feel fully seen.

2: “I admire your level of self-awareness.”

One of the major commonalities all of my coaching clients have is an immense level of self-awareness. I believe it’s a necessary element of effective self-improvement.


Because in order to improve ourselves and our lives, we first need to recognize what needs improving. And, this can be uncomfortable and painful to admit to ourselves, and especially to others.

Letting someone know that you see and appreciate the fact that they’re willing to reflect, and do the inner work helps them to feel that their efforts are worthwhile. While our sense of fulfillment needs to come from within, I believe all of us feel better if we know that the work is actually paying off, and knowing other people see it helps to fill that need.

3: “You make me want to be a better man.”

If this one sounds familiar, that’s because it came straight from a Jack Nicholson line in As Good As It Gets:

In this scene, he gives Helen Hunt “The best compliment of her life.”

But, why is it such an impactful statement?

Imagine knowing that your presence in someone else’s life makes them want to grow and improve. To elevate themselves as a human. To be a better man.

Of course, I’m not just suggesting that you jack movie lines and hope that nobody notices. What I am suggesting is that you understand the significance of how it feels when someone knows that they are making a positive impact in your life simply by being in it.

4: “I feel safe opening up to you.”

I’ve always said that one of the greatest compliments a woman can give a man is that she feels safe around him. Not just physically safe, but emotionally safe opening up and being fully transparent.

The truth is, both men and women need to feel safe being open and honest with their partner free of judgment.

If she knows you feel safe opening up to her, she’ll know that you’re more likely to share your feelings, wants, needs, and desires — the lack of which is a common frustration of women in their relationships.

5: “I trust you.”

Three small words with a big meaning. Trust is a foundational cornerstone of any intimate relationship, and knowing it’s present will help her feel more at ease and present with you.

Trust gives you the safety and security that breeds freedom. You’re not worried about what she’s doing, who she’s talking to, where she’s going, or who she’s with.

You know that when she tells you something, it’s the truth — which gives you peace of mind and helps her feel free in the relationship.

Nothing is worse than feeling restricted or held back by your partner because of their trust issues. Knowing that isn’t a concern will help her go all in emotionally.

6: “I know I can count on you.”

Do you know what the best-selling car of all time is?

It’s the Toyota Corolla.

Why does someone buy a Toyota Corolla? It’s not particularly sleek, or sexy, or fast, or exciting…(sorry, Toyota…)

It’s the best-selling car of all time because it’s reliable, and people value reliability.

Being reliable is the foundation of trust (see point #5). These points don’t overlap, but feed and support each other — one cannot exist if the other is absent.

7: “I love the way you treat people.”

No matter who the most important people are in her life [besides you of course — wink wink] she does her best to love and care for them in ways that make them feel deeply valued.

If she is a “giver,” she may give herself fully to her relationships, which means there’s a chance that, at times, she feels like she is giving without recognition.

Of course, we don’t give in order to receive. We give out of the love and goodness of our hearts — but everyone likes to feel a sense of gratitude for their efforts. Knowing that you see and appreciate how she treats the people she loves will make her feel warm and fuzzy.

8: “I am always learning from you.”

Nobody wants to feel like their thoughts or opinions are invalid in their relationship. We all want to know that we’re bringing value and a positive impact to each others’ lives.

Knowing that you’re open to hearing and learning from her makes her feel that her viewpoint is valued and appreciated (as it should be).

9: “Your drive is relentless.”

Make sure you say this with a positive tone.

It’s not meant to be “ugh, geeze, you are relentless…”

It’s supposed to be “Wow, you can accomplish anything. You are relentless.

Show her that you respect her drive, ambition, and relentless passion.

10: “What you did today is amazing.”

Particularly for moms, they are always doing things for other people. But, for anyone in general who feels like they go through their days giving and doing without appreciation and recognition, it can be an empty feeling to think that it’s all for naught.

Knowing that you appreciate her efforts — even if they’re not directed towards you — makes all the difference.

11: “I am grateful for you.”

How many relationships end because one partner (or both) feels taken for granted? Probably more than you’d think.

It’s easy to overlook expression of gratitude, especially after you’ve been together for a long time. The “small things” just sort of “happen” regularly and we might forget to say thanks, or reciprocate, or really take the time to let her know how much it means.

Reminder her that you are grateful for her will remind her that she is appreciated and valued — something that all of us want in a relationship.

Subscribe to my newsletter “The Next Level” for honest and uncensored advice normally reserved for private clients.

James Michael Sama is an internationally recognized speaker, author, and personal development coach.

Finding success in creating hundreds of viral articles and videos on building limitless confidence and healthier relationships, James has accumulated over 39 million visitors to his website and a collective social media following of over 400,000.

James speaks at live events and in the media across the U.S. and has become a go-to expert with outlets such as CNN, Bravo, The New York Post, The Huffington Post, The Daily Beast, CNBC, The Boston Globe, CBS, and more.


  1. lonstermash on July 31, 2022 at 5:43 pm

    It’s rare I have found someone worthy of all 11 compliments, lol, but they are good ones. I must argue, though, that every woman I have dated ALSO loves hearing that she looks hot—-it’s probably why I’ve had many ask me, “How do I look?” When I reply, “You look HOT!,” I’m always met with a huge smile.

  2. St.Jon on January 16, 2023 at 7:10 pm

    Very well written

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