The Best Dating App is Called “Life”

Odds are, if you’re reading this, you have Tinder’d or Bumble’d Coffee-Meets-Bagle’d or Luxy’d or Raya’d until you’ve been numb in the thumbs. I know I have.

If you can relate, that also means you might be falling into the same trap that a lot of different people seem to be caught in these days: You’re starting to see people as products.

Oh, this one is pretty! Look at the muscles on that one. Ohhhh, he’s kissing his dog. Only 6 miles away? Swipe right.

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Then the photo slides across your screen and reveals the next product, and the next, and the next. Before you know it, you’ve extended your search radius to the entire United States, but you still can’t seem to meet anyone.

Do you know why? Because we are relying solely on this method of ‘dating’ and we’ve stopped considering that, in some cases, the old ways might be the best ways.

Before I get myself in trouble, let me just say that I do think online dating is a great way to supplement your efforts. Meaning, adding to the efforts you’re already putting in during your daily life. But as your only, single, one method of dating – apps and websites can leave a few things to be desired.

Human interaction, for one.

If you’re anything like me, you crave the visceral experience that accompanies meeting a person you’re attracted to. The lingering eye-contact that could either be sexy or creepy. The scent of someone’s cologne or perfume as you cross paths briefly while navigating a crowd. The way you catch a smile in your direction across the room and your heart skips a beat or two.

These are the things that help to form attraction. These are the 3-dimensional pieces of a human that make the experience so much deeper than anything we can see on a screen.

Sure, it’s true that our parents and grandparents probably built stronger relationships because they didn’t have as many distractions or options being shoved in their face every second of their existence – but it is probably also true that their relationships lasted longer because they were built on stronger, more secure foundations.

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3-dimensional foundations.

Since I spend most of my life thinking in analogies, picture this. What if you took each of those little online dating profiles out of your phone – what would they look like? My guess is, they’d look like playing cards. Our own individual baseball card, but for an online dating profile (I might be on to something here).

Cute idea, sure, but as they say – houses made of cards fall easily. So, building a foundation for a relationship with these cards probably isn’t the best idea. We need more substance. More depth. More solid blocks to build on. We need that eye-contact, the scent, the feel, the hug, the hand lightly placed on your arm. Those are the things that are going to actually give us a perspective on who this person is that we are attracted to, and how we interact with them in a variety of ways.

Think about how heavy and solid older cars were, as opposed to the plastic people-movers we shuttle ourselves around in today. Think about hand-made tailored clothing the older generations lived in, rather than the buy 1, get 19 free suits that would probably be put to better use as flimsy paper towels.

My point? Older generations took pride in what they created. They put time and effort into something rather than just mass-producing it for the sake of volume (like we seem to do with our relationships).

Sure, it took longer to create, but look at how long it lasted. Look at the quality. Look at the pride taken in the final product.

Technology and innovation move our society forward – but we must remember that we are still human beings who crave emotional connection with each other, and nothing artificial will replace that.

Sometimes, the older ways were the best ways.

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Related Video: 5 Easy Ways to Bring Back Romance

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5 thoughts on “The Best Dating App is Called “Life”

  1. Time seems to be moving faster. We have less desposible time for relaxing, our own personal growth and dating too at the same time. Totally agree with the foundation and connections that spark from personal contact rather then viewing through dating cards. Very well put as always. Thanks so much.

  2. This is great insight! My guy friend talked me into trying online dating and convinced me this way: if he were a total stranger and approached me, it could seem creepy. However if we had some online interaction first, and then would meet, there would be a sense of familiarity. It’s definitely not a one size fits all game. After spending countless hours beginning conversations online, with the actual dates being few and far between, I removed my profiles. It’s frankly exhausting and perhaps the “old ways” are better after all!

  3. You, sir, are an old soul. I hope you’ll take that as a compliment. People tell me the same all the time & I’ve learned to take it as a great compliment.

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