This is What REALLY Makes a Woman Sexy


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Airbrushed models everywhere you turn. Magazines. Social media. Billboards.

We are living in an increasingly visual society pushing the image of what’s “sexy” on to us.

But, what is it that REALLY makes a woman sexy? Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


  1. on July 21, 2016 at 11:34 am

    Please stop sending me this quotes
    Sent from my BlackBerry® wireless device

  2. Tom Sampson on July 21, 2016 at 11:45 am

    What really makes a woman sexy? Seeing her confident, engaged, moving towards her goals, empathetic and in good humor, all the while knowing that she is loved and valued.

    • James Michael Sama on July 21, 2016 at 11:54 am

      Good answer, Tom! Agree 100%, you echo some of the things I mentioned in the video. Thanks for commenting!

      • Gina Bermejo on October 30, 2017 at 11:23 am

        I cant love this enough!! I have struggled with self acceptance and feel insecure about my looks because I am the black sheep of my family, the shortest, a brown eye child born to two green eyed parents, darkest features, my sister is the head of corporate law at a huge firm, meanwhile I am a substitute teacher at a Middle School.
        I have been single of 11 years, I am 31, ..but unfortunately I don’t think I have used that time wisely to develop my self love and build a life I am happy to live with to without a partner. A lot of it has been outside of my control..I have been caring for my mother in a vegetative state for the last 4 years. I left my career and took a part time job at a school. I moved home and I thought it was all very temporary because most people in that state don’t live long but it has been 4 years… I have been deeply heart broken by someone I hoped would bring a little joy into my life in a sea of darkness, and instead it just became much more darkness…
        Anyways, in the darkness I found your blog, your podcast and have ordered your book (waiting for it come in the mail) and I feel hopeful and I owe you that…thank you for giving me hope in the future, in the possibilities, in my own worth and ability to build a live I am happy to call my own! So thanks a million for the work that you do and for leading that work with such compassion, kindness and enthusiasm. I have decided to take 6 months to work on setting goals and finally looking forward to a future that I question is, how do you know when you are ready? When you have taken tome to worm on yourself, how do you know when you are ready to proactively find love again? I always lead with an open heart, to everyone I meet, and I trust easily, so I am scared I will misread everything again and let myself hope for something that isn’t there.

  3. theprivateman on July 21, 2016 at 11:58 am

    Pleasant, happy, feminine (looks and actions), passionate, affectionate… and not competitive with men.

    • Wizard Prang on July 25, 2016 at 8:53 am

      ^^ This.

      We live in a world where single women are reading Cosmo and married women are reading “Good housekeeping”, when it should be the opposite.

      We want women who are cooperative, not competitive. Women would do well to realize this.

  4. Karina on July 21, 2016 at 11:58 am

    Kinda miss the written articles. I can’t always load your videos, would love it if you could include transcript after the video. For those of us with tiny data packages 😉

    • louisebowley on July 22, 2016 at 12:09 am

      I also miss the articles and would appreciate a transcript of the video as well. Some of us are more inclined to reading and can’t load videos so much. Also easier to send in the written form as well. Please have a transcript made too.

      • Flo on July 22, 2016 at 1:27 am

        I agree. I prefer written articles due to limited network data

  5. Dana on July 21, 2016 at 12:27 pm

    Great points there James.

    I’d like to second the request for a transcript. I like to read your articles during my breaks at work. I work in cubicle-land so it’s really hard to watch the videos. A transcript would be fantastic

  6. nthaigh7 on July 21, 2016 at 12:45 pm

    Women are unique and differentiated

  7. lithinks on July 21, 2016 at 1:57 pm

    So true,pity there aren’t enough real men looking beyond the superficial…

    • theprivateman on July 21, 2016 at 2:29 pm

      Or real women doing the same. To be polite, ladies first.

  8. Renea Gooch on July 21, 2016 at 2:32 pm

    Ughhh, another video. Please bring back the written articles, or at least a transcript for those of us who don’t have the time, ability or desire to watch videos. I enjoy your posts but I’d rather not waste my time with a video when I could read through an article much faster. I’m done with following the site without written posts, sorry.

    • James Michael Sama on July 21, 2016 at 2:37 pm

      Renea, the articles before and after this video are both written. Are you not getting notifications for all posts? I’m not quite sure what you mean by “without written posts” when there are nearly 700 of them and about 5 videos.

      Apologies for any inconvenience.

      – James

      • louisebowley on July 22, 2016 at 12:14 am

        What we mean is that your video’s and what you say in them is not written. So I would rather have what you say on the video written also, and not just a video of this subject.
        In other words if you do do a video please also publish the transcript of that SAME video under the video. Some other blogs do the same as many people are not allowed to watch videos from work and it makes it easier to access the same information if its in two forms.
        some other blogs that have videos also put the transcript of the video right under the video so those who can’t access or who aren’t allowed to can still access the same information as was on the video.
        I think that is what we are getting at.
        For example I would still like to know the information on the video but I cannot watch a video at work and it takes more bandwidth, but I would still like to know what you say in the video so a transcript would be nice to read what you say in the video.

  9. Denise on July 21, 2016 at 9:11 pm


    I love all your articles & videos.
    You are a wonderful man and a great catch for some very lucky woman!
    Wish it were me. 😉

  10. The Re-Invention of Me on July 23, 2016 at 3:16 pm

    Those are really good points. As I continue to grow as a person, the more I look at someone from the inside out. I think sexy is confidence without arrogance. Sexy is kindness without expecting anything in return. I think respect for others is sexy too.

  11. ADetailedHouse on August 5, 2016 at 3:45 am

    I find men that are intelligent, funny, demonstrative, chivalrous, passionate, and honest (not necessarily in that order) sexy, and would think a few of the same attributes would make a woman sexy.

  12. dana on September 21, 2016 at 10:35 am

    Someone, please please say boobs and something less pretentious and artificial.
    You are not sexy, you are SEEN as being sexy, which is another thing.

  13. Paul l on October 5, 2016 at 7:45 pm

    Ok Dana, Boobs…. Sexy means sexually attractive or appealing so depends on the criteria lass for each person and what they define it as. Big boobs means you should be able to feed babies…. If you pop one out. Evolution sorta influenced what blokes and ladies find sexy for a reason. If we remove the PC ness that seems to prevail to complicate our life’s when something simple needs to be said in perhaps a attention grabbing way your correct. Me a spade is a spade don’t use floury language open to interpretation unless your a politician or you don’t want to answer the Question. The purpose is so humans do have sex and procreate. But humans have evolved and the majority now live beyond year 20 in the first and second world. Some people still want to be like rabbits and don’t care about their offspring, some animals and people do and it means the offspring have a better chance of survival… However with that evolution comes feelings , relationships etc, all that brew ha ha. What do humans have after procreation, relationships, friendships, the feelings and complicated thought etc but I digress … So shake your tail feather if you’ve got one

  14. David on October 16, 2016 at 5:50 am

    Boobs are important. But not as important as attitude, authenticity and a quiet self-confidence.

  15. Matilda on January 23, 2017 at 11:23 pm

    Way to use the internet to help people solve prombels!

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