One Easy Way to Tell if a Guy is Into You


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We can spend all day long talking about ways to know a man is interested in you, but in the long run, there is only ONE thing that actually matters. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!


  1. Maxine on June 29, 2016 at 4:41 pm

    Thank you
    Great advice
    Kind and genuine

    • Cynthia Phillips Horta on June 29, 2016 at 5:19 pm

      Very good advice.. Even for us senior ladies!

  2. Sunny Lanning on June 29, 2016 at 4:49 pm

    I love this. Speaking of texts and emails and other modes of communication, it’s also important to recognize what works for one person may not work for another. I text my man several times a day, but he doesn’t text as often. He likes the mini messages and the pictures to stay connected, but it isn’t his communication style. Instead, he calls me, every night for the past year, to say goodnight, even if he just dropped me off at my door a few moments ago.
    One last thing about making time is how a man focuses his time when you’re together. We were having brunch at DeVere’s and, looking around, saw so many people sitting together looking at their phones–young people, old people lots of people. We don’t have a rule about phones; we don’t have to. We’re together because we want to be, and that means not checking Facebook or Instagram or email or texting other people.
    Time is precious, people. Use it wisely with people who are worthwhile.

    • Lilith on June 29, 2016 at 11:36 pm

      This is so beautiful and true. Thank you for sharing doll!

  3. Joni on June 29, 2016 at 5:09 pm

    My favorite comment: The right people will love about you what the wrong people take for granted. This is so true! Look for someone who loves what you love about yourself and who appreciates what you think your gifts are.

  4. Charlene on June 29, 2016 at 5:33 pm

    James, thank you for the YouTube video. It seems to be more impactful w/the message because we are able to feel your genuinity thru your voice. Your advice & help is greatly needed. Thank you for being YOU!

  5. Phyl on June 29, 2016 at 5:40 pm

    Great post JMS…has me thinking about better ways to improve my communications and intention

  6. joy on June 29, 2016 at 6:25 pm

    Absolutely, focused attention from a man gives us the confidence to be ourselves and that’s when relationships blossom. Also face to face allows for all the biological clues – nature hasn’t yet caught up with social media! Thanks James

  7. lch on June 29, 2016 at 7:50 pm

    mine, who just left after leaving a good bye note, said he married me because he thought it would be easy…he did not want to be joined at the hip and saw me as independent…..should have listened deeper

  8. annelogan17 on June 29, 2016 at 9:11 pm


  9. Claudia on June 29, 2016 at 9:55 pm

    I love your posts and listening to your messages, Thank you they are very helpful and gives us lots to think about and see the reality of things in our relationships

  10. Tess on June 29, 2016 at 11:35 pm

    Thank you so much James for sharing the truth

  11. Lilith on June 29, 2016 at 11:51 pm

    Darling James, thank you for this video. I recieve those “good morning beautiful” texts randomly and it does feel disingenuous.
    There is so much freedom in accepting the truth. So, thank you again!

  12. Mariellen on June 30, 2016 at 12:54 am

    I loved your video James and it was just what I needed to hear. You nailed it!

  13. Martha on June 30, 2016 at 1:07 am

    Thank you for your honesty!

  14. The Re-Invention of Me on June 30, 2016 at 2:52 am

    Amazing! I think a lot of men make little to no effort to pursue a woman and do what it takes to keep her. Unfortunately, too many women allow this behavior. Quality time is my #1 love language so I highly appreciate when a man gives me his time. Also, I appreciate the effort of a phone call versus using text as a primary means of communication when we are not in each other’s presence. Hearing your partner’s voice makes for better communication since text can be misinterpreted, especially when you’re getting to know each other. Anyway, this is my opinion and certainly may not be an issue for everyone.

  15. Edith Ann on June 30, 2016 at 5:22 pm

    These are things I am well aware of because over the years I have had enough relationships…not during my marriage of course, to know who is serious and who just want’s to get laid, feed his ego, has an addiction to excitement and passion and MUST have it in his life constantly and it’s usually with one woman after another.
    It can be difficult to accept that your current relationship is actually a game and he is unavailable you and every other woman he toys with. This is super hard for those younger ladies out there that haven’t yet experienced some of the assho**s (and there are MANY) who only into charming the panties right off off you. Then…………..nothing. They are hard learned lessons in life ladies but trust me it happens all the time. You will grow to know if he’s the real deal. A man who is truly a man will call you faithfully just because the best part of his day is just hearing your voice. Take you on dates that don’t just consist of McDonalds and a drive to the nearest orange grove so he can get you in the back seat of their car, take an interest in your dreams, goals, philosophy on life. Will actually remember your birthday, valentines day, the day you first met and how it went down, etc. Will actually want to meet your family and friends, introduce you proudly to his family and friends…well, you get the idea girls. If he’s just using you he will do the opposite of everything I just mentioned. I know, I know, you really, really like him and want to think you might have some sort of a future with the guy and it’s tough to have the guts to tell him where to go and how to get there…refuse to let him start to turn on the old charm, blah, blah, blah. But you MUST do it to preserve your self respect, be able to open yourself up to a good man who will truly care and sometimes to SAVE YOUR VERY SANITY. Good luck ladies!!!!! There are a ton of assho*es out there. In a big barrell of pebbles, say 1,000 pebbles…you’ll only find 10 actual gems (I might be exaggerating there ha ha ha). Bye!

  16. Beth on June 30, 2016 at 7:17 pm

    Unfortunately it took me 14 months to figure out that my guy was not really into me. I gave him the benefit of the doubt since he was an only child and was divorced with no kids. In the 14 months I dated him I never met his parents and when I asked him what was holding him back from me meeting his parents he said he didn’t think it was a big deal. I told him it’s a red flag to me. He also didn’t let me see his house beyond the first level until I really pushed him and that took six months for me to be able see the upstairs–but he wouldn’t let me see in the bathroom. I finally saw that bathroom about a month ago and I can see why it was beyond disgusting with mold and mildew you everywhere. Things were just too sketchy and it made me very suspicious because it’s common courtesy to show someone around your house and make them feel at home when they first come to your house. I was tolerant of his OCD rituals and I think with him having that he doesn’t know how to maintain a relationship or nurture one. As much as it hurts to no longer be with him, I realized I was alone in this relationship for the last 14 months. I know it’s for the best and that there is someone out there that’s better for me. He said he didn’t like texting in general (and we never talked on the phone) so things weren’t going to work. I gave 120% and it was exhausting.

  17. Rachel on June 30, 2016 at 11:01 pm

    I totally agree! In fact, “interested enough to spend time with me” has been one of my three “initial criteria” for a relationship these days (the other two are: on a good, stable career path, and has no substance addictions). I’ve been amazed, and a little shocked, at how hard its been for me to find a guy who meets just these 3 basic criteria…. in fact, I’m still looking. But I do still believe he’s out there. Thanks for helping me feel like I’m not asking too much 🙂

  18. Rachel on June 30, 2016 at 11:07 pm

    P.S. I like the new format! Although now you’ve opened yourself up to a whole new world of criticisms from the nasty crowd… brave soul 😉

  19. Marie Toni King on July 1, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    James I have to stop watching, my whole world is crumbling before me and you are so hitting the nail on the head. But you know I will keep watching and reading as you have made me face up to reality. With someone that rarely phones, has not taken me out on a date since February. Never slept over at mine or his, never met his Father or friends, he has never asked about me, but says all the right things that I so wanted to hear after 2 years of being single after a nasty break up I wanted someone to want me. He is playing me so well, and I am trying to be strong enough to say no, in my heart I know I have to walk away. He has apparently booked us to go on holiday, I still do not have the holiday details even after asking for them and its only 6 weeks away. I hope it will all sort itself out but I know it will not don’t I. So James even though listening to you made me tearful, it was tears I needed to shred and has given me the strength to try and let go and move on. Thank you

  20. Hajar (@b_Haajar) on July 27, 2016 at 10:45 am

    That’s just absolutely right… keep walking you will find the right person who deserve your heart, your time and your love soon. thank you James

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