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10 Qualities Every Strong Woman Wants In A Man

FREE E-BOOK: 15 WAYS TO KNOW YOU'RE DATING A GENTLEMAN

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There are genuine, caring, loving women in the world who are still strong and live their own lives. They have their own hopes, dreams, and ambitions – but they want a teammate beside them as they accomplish all they set out to. They understand that personal power is not about not needing someone, but about the ability to set standards and only welcome the people into their life who meet the bar.

They want to support you as you support her in return. But, it takes the right type of man to recognize, and be comfortable with this type of woman.

He is secure in himself.

A man who constantly needs reassurance or validation from the woman he is dating will likely not find what he needs if he pursues a woman who is strong and independent. She will be secure and confident in herself and want the man she is with to be the same. While she will likely show him love and affection because she cares for him and wants him to feel loved – she will not constantly be reminding him of how much she needs him in her life. Because she doesn’t.

A strong man will not expect to be needed by a woman of this caliber, but it is important to note that men still want to feel wanted, and we all still need to love and affection to feel valued in a relationship, so this cannot be overlooked.

He communicates effectively.

This doesn’t mean just knowing how to speak and express his feelings, but also knowing how to listen and interpret hers. Not all women are verbally open or affectionate, but they will show you how they feel in their own ways. It is important for a man to be able to hear what the woman in his life is doesn’t say, as well as what she does.

He has a great sense of humor.

Despite the hard outer shell some strong women display, they are still human beings who experience every emotion. Nobody wants to be stern or serious all the time, particularly those with high pressure jobs or a stressful lifestyle. A man who can lighten the mood at just the right times will not only be a great lover, but a great best friend.

Finding a balance that allows a relationship to flourish when two strong independent people come together is tricky. Men need to understand that they can be with a woman who lives her own life and not sacrifice any of his own masculinity. And women need to understand that being strong and independent does not have to mean being overbearing or abrasive. Men and women are both equally worthy of respect without needing to prove their dominance over each other.

He is equally as ambitious as she is.

If a couple is going to have one teammate who has big plans for their own future, it’s going to need two teammates who have big plans. For both men and women, being with someone who is much less motivated in life than you are is going to cause tension in the relationship. One will not understand why the other works so hard. He or she will not understand why their partner is up at 5:00 in the morning to go to the gym. He or she will get aggravated when you have to put in extra hours on that Friday night.

A man who will be comfortable with a woman who is driven and ambitious will need to be on a similar path for himself in order to understand and appreciate her hustle.

He knows how to maintain privacy.

Women who are focused on their own mission and path in life are not taking time out of their day to look for validation from others. They are living in the moment and are too busy to bother caring what other people are thinking.

A man who is going to date this type of woman has to work with her on what is kept between the two of them and what is exposed to the public. In the social media generation, privacy is hard to come by – but for a relationship with a mature, independent woman to work in the long run, it still has to be made a priority.

He knows when to lead, and when to follow.

Just because a woman may be in charge from 9-5 on Monday through Friday, doesn’t mean she wants the same responsibilities in a relationship. At the end of the day, many women still appreciate a man who is the man, and will make plans for them on date night. A man who still romances her. A man who is chivalrous and respectful. A man who understands that a woman can be independent and should still be treated as a lady.

He will never talk down to her.

When he compliments how great you are at something, the right kind of man for a strong woman will never end the sentence with “you know, for a girl.” A man who can effectively build a relationship with an independent woman will see her exactly as she should be seen – as an equal.

This means respecting and valuing her opinions as well as openly telling her his own. It means being able to have deep, meaningful conversations and really listening to her viewpoints. It means never assuming she can’t teach you something new or show you new experiences – in fact, some of life’s most important lessons will come from her.

He will support her no matter what.

As Mark Twain once said – “Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” This same concept applies to relationships as well. Men and women who are strong and secure in themselves will have no problem standing behind their partner when support is required. They will not betray your trust or discourage you from living the life you want to live.

The right type of man for a strong woman will know when to stand in front of her when she needs protection, behind her when she needs support, and beside her when she wants a teammate.

He thinks logically and has a reason for his opinions.

If he doesn’t have an answer to why he feels a certain way about a certain issue, he can be expected to be questioned until he does. I’m certainly not suggesting that a man in a relationship with a strong woman should assume he is going to be interrogated, but she doesn’t adopt any strong opinions or beliefs without a good reason for doing so – and the man she chooses to be with will need to do so as well.

He is chivalrous but not condescending.

One of the most frequent comments I get from readers regarding chivalry in the modern era is that it can come across as being condescending or that men are suggesting women are incapable of doing the action at hand by themselves (ie., opening a door or pulling out a chair) by doing it for her.

Obviously, the entire point of being chivalrous is to show someone respect or that you value them. This is the exact opposite of the aforementioned presupposition. For this reason, a woman who appreciates the kindness of a goodhearted man will need to feel as though he is giving it to her genuinely, and not because he feels he is above her or because he is trying to get something from her.

Finding a balance that allows a relationship to flourish when two strong independent people come together is tricky. Men need to understand that they can be with a woman who lives her own life and not sacrifice any of his own masculinity. And women need to understand that being strong and independent does not have to mean being overbearing or abrasive. Men and women are both equally worthy of respect without needing to prove their dominance over each other.

The best teams are made up of people who fill the puzzle pieces of the other. Who work well together and respect each others strengths while balancing out their weaknesses. Love is a team sport, and with the right person by your side, you will always win the game.

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15 Comments

  1. Kathryn Crawford Wheat on July 27, 2015 at 1:02 pm

    Reblogged this on Woman’s InSite and commented:
    Great advice!

  2. nessieglymps on July 27, 2015 at 2:07 pm

    Reblogged this on nessieglymps.

  3. 10 Things Strong Women Love About Men - on July 30, 2015 at 12:05 pm

    […] Originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s blog. […]

  4. There is ALWAYS time for coffee on July 30, 2015 at 1:09 pm

    If only more people understood this.

  5. Ashley on August 1, 2015 at 8:59 pm

    On point, James.

  6. fjmatthews on August 3, 2015 at 2:56 pm

    I LOVE this.

  7. Maria on August 8, 2015 at 2:00 pm

    This sums it up the best! “Finding a balance that allows a relationship to flourish when two strong independent people come together is tricky. Men need to understand that they can be with a woman who lives her own life and not sacrifice any of his own masculinity. And women need to understand that being strong and independent does not have to mean being overbearing or abrasive. Men and women are both equally worthy of respect without needing to prove their dominance over each other.”

  8. S on August 13, 2015 at 2:11 am

    Hi- have you used the top image with permission? I don’t see any credit to the photographer.

  9. Ariel Ginko on September 9, 2015 at 2:37 pm

    Very good material

  10. Ryan on September 26, 2015 at 10:09 pm

    James,

    My ex broke up with me a couple months ago after a three-year relationship. She broke up with me because I had a lot going on and I lost track of who I was. Due to all of that I stopped providing her with security and somebody she could count on, I also started to rely on her to provide me with happiness.

    We still live together and I’ve been trying very hard to get her back with no luck so far. She does whatever she wants with little to no concern of my feelings, I feel like a doormat. When we spoke earlier today about us, I know I came across as needy and unconfident and her response to me was “I want a Man”.

    So my questions are:

    What does she mean by that statement? And what steps can I take to be “the man” she’s looking for?

  11. Mickey on September 27, 2015 at 11:04 am

    Chivalry IS dead!!! I was at the funeral.

  12. LaShawnda Jones on September 30, 2015 at 7:13 pm

    Very much on point! Thank you!

  13. Pickup Change (@thepickupchange) on December 2, 2015 at 5:38 pm

    In this podcast Kezia Noble explains precisely what a woman look in a man! Just the part about “how much beauty is important in a man?” is worth the entire podcast! 🙂
    http://www.pickupchange.com/seduction-explained-by-a-woman-interview-with-kezia-noble/

  14. 10 Things Strong Women Love About Men on April 3, 2016 at 9:06 pm

    […] Originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s blog. […]

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