On the flip side, women who are perpetually jaded and only talk badly about men are making themselves look worse than the guys they are bashing. No man wants to fight an uphill battle with somebody who automatically vilifies him simply because of his gender or age. Men need to work to become better, and women need to know that there still are good men out there.
Though, it does make me wonder, what is the basis for these widespread, consistent accusations? Could it be an exponential worsening of the modern woman’s taste in men, that they are only choosing broke, uninterested, commitment-phobic, unambitious slackers? Or is our generation of “men,” really becoming what they are accused of being?
I refuse to sit back in silent discontent and believe that the devolution of the male race is a plague-like epidemic that we are witnessing first hand. This is the reason why I have created this website and the Facebook community that goes along with it – to stand up and make the statement that we can overcome these stereotypes by working to do more and become more.
But, lots of men are really making my job of defending them (us) increasingly difficult.
Anytime I post an article about what men want or how men act, I am met with dual responses from women. Many women are uplifted and encouraged by my statements, while others show a skepticism justified by their lack of experience actually finding these men.
They tell me while the sentiments are nice to hear, that they are just not realistic. That men really are not looking for mature, well-adjusted, successful women. That men do not want the companionship and equality that I assure them that we do [I am glad to have found it, after all].
And while all of these discussions are going on between myself and these women – the men are nowhere to be found.
There is silence.
I am defending men to the women who are discouraged by them, but I sometimes wonder if these men are deserving of the defense they are getting if they are not willing to speak up for themselves. Where have all the gentlemen gone?
It’s a modern-day version of “what came first, the chicken or the egg?” Do women choose the wrong men, or are there so many wrong men out there that the odds are just making the cards fall that way?
Fellow men of the world — learn from our predecessors who carried themselves with dignity and class. They were providers, protectors and a support system for their women. Even though society has evolved and men no longer have to be the sole breadwinners in a relationship, we should still have the ability to be if it were needed, that hasn’t changed.
Some of us call it having honor. Dignity. Integrity. Qualities which so unfortunately seem to be sorely lacking in our generation.
I understand that some men feel these qualities they do possess are going unappreciated. We can easily see how the cycle begins: Men do not think women appreciate good guys, so fewer guys act in this way, causing women to become convinced there are no good men left. Rinse, repeat.
The fact of the matter is that good men and women are out there – but they feel as though their attributes go overlooked and therefore stop displaying them to the world. We should never allow someone’s lack of appreciation of us alter our nature. Our value and self worth comes from within, not from the approval of others; that’s why it’s called self worth.
Women want to believe you still exist. They want romance, courtship, chivalry, and respect. They want your love and your loyalty. And they want to give you all of these things in return.
Do not allow lesser effort put forth by your counterparts to tarnish your own reputation. Do not fall in with the crowd. Do not blend in with the shadows. Do not take the path of least resistance under the presupposition that striving to be better will get you nowhere.
It is true that good men [and women] are difficult to find in today’s society, but that makes them so much more appreciated when they are. And don’t worry about how few there are in the world:
If you can’t find one, you can still be one.
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