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11 Reasons Good Men Won’t Cheat

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Cheating in a relationship is, of course, not monopolized by either gender. Men cheat, women cheat, and according to studies, they have different reasons for doing so.

I don’t think we can necessarily just say “men cheat for this reason, and women cheat for this reason,” though. Each individual person and scenario brings about a reason or reasons of its own. That being said though, I think we need to be careful of blanket statements like all men cheat or all women cheat.

As a man, I can only speak on behalf of my own gender. I have never cheated and would never cheat – but when I say this to people they always ask how I can say I would never cheat? There are plenty of reasons why a good man would never even have the thought cross his mind…

A good man appreciates what he has.

Obviously, this is a big reason. The more you appreciate your partner, the more valuable they are to you, and the less you are willing risk losing them or hurting them. When a good man truly loves and appreciates the woman in his life, he would never act in ways that put his relationship with her in jeopardy.

A good man has evolved beyond his primal urges.

We all have biological urges instilled in us by billions of years of evolution. The desire to reproduce, sexual attraction, so on and so forth. This is often used as an excuse for cheating because “we are not built for monogamy.”

While monogamy isn’t necessarily natural to humans, a good man understands that being natural is not the point. Monogamy is a choice. It is a pledge to the person you love to commit yourself to them, and only them. A good man has the ability to resist his basic urges for the sake of a more important choice he has made for himself.

A good man values love over a fleeting experience.

When you are in a loving, committed relationship with someone, there are far more layers of fulfillment than just sex. A relationship based solely on sexual attraction is a flimsy one that could fall apart at the first challenge; but when two people genuinely love and respect each other, they can weather any storm.

Some people spend their lives searching for that kind of connection. Some find it quickly, some take longer, but when a good man does find it – the thought of throwing it all away for a few minutes of sexual satisfaction (that he could get at home anyway) just makes no sense.

A good man has a conscience.

A simple reason, yes – but a strong one nonetheless. The constant guilt associated with cheating on a woman you love and then having to pretend everything is great when you are around her; I would imagine, is impossibly difficult.

A good man respects the woman in his life.

Cheating is disrespect. It is casting someone else’s feelings aside because of something temporary you want. But not just something you want; something you want at the expense of your girlfriend/wife, and your relationship. Cheating is lying to someone, it is breaking their trust, and those are not things you do to someone you respect.

A good man has grown past adding notches to his bedpost.

A man who is secure and confident in himself no longer has a need to validate his manhood or self-worth by proving he can ‘get the girl.’ Men who are insecure often times need to continue achieving conquests in order to feel like men. Anyone in this position would be better served to simply stay single and sew their wild oats before they choose to commit to someone exclusively.

A good man respects himself.

C. S. Lewis once said: Integrity is doing the right thing, even when no one is watching. I think some men stop themselves from cheating simply because they are afraid of getting caught – but good men would stay faithful even if it were guaranteed that nobody would find out if they weren’t.

Why? Because he respects himself. He holds a certain standard for the way he lives his life and the character he has worked so hard to build and maintain. Entering into a committed relationship is not just a pledge to your partner, it is also a pledge that your future self will uphold the promises your present self has made.

A good man doesn’t take the easy way out.

Cheating is the easy way out. It’s the easy way out of a bad relationship. It’s the easy way to escape. It’s the easy way to avoid responsibility for a breakup by doing something stupid and having her end it instead. It is a way to avoid facing your problems rather than standing up and dealing with them like a grown adult.

Not all relationships are meant to last. Breakups happen every day and for all different reasons – but a good man will understand that and take it in stride. If he is in a relationship he knows isn’t going to work, or if the time comes he has fallen out of love and knows he shouldn’t be stringing his girlfriend on any longer, he will sit her down and have an adult conversation with her about his feelings. He will not start acting single while he is still in a relationship.

A good man values his reputation.

In an earlier point we discussed the concept of integrity and how a good man still wouldn’t cheat even if he was guaranteed to get away with it. The reality of it is though, that he is not guaranteed to get away with it. Some do, and some don’t – but the ones who don’t find themselves with a ruined reputation and behind the 8-ball when it comes to trustworthiness.

Being labeled as a cheater is not just about your romantic life, it permeates your entire character and makes people look at you differently. If you would turn your back and betray the person you ‘love,’ how are people with lesser connections with you supposed to take your word for anything?

A good man will never turn his back on a friend.

In a happy, healthy relationship – you are not only lovers, but friends. Best friends. You are each others support systems, teammates, and confidants. A good man will never betray a friend, let alone a best friend.

A good man doesn’t even have time to cheat.

You might be thinking to yourself – that’s not a very good reason…am I saying that if he was less busy or had more time he would be hanging out at the bar trying to pick up women?

Absolutely not – if he was less busy or had more time he would be using that time to find new ways to love the woman he already has. That’s why a good man doesn’t have the time to cheat, because the time he does have is dedicated to the woman he loves. The woman he has committed himself to. The woman who he spends his life trying to make happy.

The woman he sees as an extension of himself. The woman he has tied his emotions to. Hurting her would be hurting himself – and that is something no good man would choose to do.

Cheating is not an accident. It is not something you slip and fall into. It is not an immediate event that nobody saw coming. It requires the same process that any seduction would – an initial meeting, flirting, maybe some exchanging of information, an invitation, an acceptance of said invitation, and then finally the act itself. There are countless chances for a man to say “sorry, I’m in a relationship,” which is exactly what a man who is truly committed to you will do. Every time.

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85 Comments

  1. marcius1213 on January 26, 2015 at 4:42 pm

    James thank you for showing me your true colors.
    I have studied people from all over the world and can first hand if they’re fake, phony, superficial, materialistic. You are no better then I am. You just think you can hide it when you can’t. I can’t change the way that you are. All I can do is pray for you. Remember you reap what you sow.
    Thanks again for coming out and showing yourself.

    • TS on January 26, 2015 at 5:05 pm

      What are you talking about????

      • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 5:08 pm

        I have repeatedly needed to ask Marcius to cease commenting on every single one of my Facebook pages to the point of having to block him from every outlet I have on social media. He then reverts to my website and leaves equally nonsensical comments as he was on Facebook. Very frustrating.



      • marcius1213 on January 26, 2015 at 9:01 pm

        TS, James gets paid for everyone that likes his Facebook, Twitter pages ect. Don’t believe anything that he says. He’s a fake, phony, superficial, materialistic, sarcastic immature wannabe man that uses other people’s websites, pictures. And passes them off as his own.
        You yourself a favor and don’t vote for him either.



      • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 9:03 pm

        LOL…what? Can you back up any single thing you said there with proof? How does someone get paid for Facebook likes and Twitter followers? If I could figure that out I’d be a happy man.

        And what ‘websites or pictures’ do I pass off as my own? A single example of this would be fantastic. Until then, you are simply spewing nonsense because you are mad that I block your absurd comments.



    • Ap on June 18, 2015 at 10:55 pm

      Keep inspiring james! Evil marcius wil bring u dwn no matter wat ! Let him go back to where he came from in hell. Btw love ur post.

    • Qurius on October 30, 2015 at 11:27 am

      Do you two know each other, in real life?

    • Karen Arel on January 27, 2016 at 1:05 pm

      James, don’t engage. He obviously has some real insecurities and needs to be seen/heard/read for some sad reason.

    • Ellis on July 21, 2016 at 1:56 am

      Are the voices talking to you?

  2. Dave on January 26, 2015 at 8:55 pm

    Pretty sure the thats Anjelica Ebbi the Pornstar in the photo used for this article of the man and women lying bed together. Kinda funny that it’s used for this article!

    • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 8:57 pm

      LOL really?! I had no idea…just came across the photo. Thanks for letting me know! Maybe I’ll switch it out…

      • Dave on January 26, 2015 at 9:18 pm

        I’d leave the photo… Probably attract more readers (like I was) with a hot porn star pic 😉

        And this Marcius guy commenting on here is pretty annoying.



      • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 9:19 pm

        Good point – I’ll call it a happy accident since I had no idea who she was, lol.

        And yeah, that’s why I had to block him from every other page I have on social media. Trying to see if I can mark him as spam now to keep him off the website too. 🙂



      • Lisa on February 7, 2015 at 10:25 pm

        meh.. leave it. It’s a tasteful photo.
        Also a photo of someone who is an adult film personality doesn’t discredit your thoughts shared in this article.. at least I don’t think so.



    • Drew on March 19, 2015 at 10:06 am

      Yeah, and he’s actually fondling her

      • James Michael Sama on March 19, 2015 at 10:07 am

        LOL, didn’t even notice. Maybe I’ll switch out the pic.



  3. marcius1213 on January 26, 2015 at 9:12 pm

    Yes I can. You cut and paste from other websites, pictures to use as your own. And everyone that likes your Facebook, Twitter account you get a fee. Its all over the Internet. You think people are stupid James.
    I’m not mad at you for blocking me. You blocked me because I’m telling the trust. I’m not the one that’s fake, phony, superficial, materialistic, sarcastic, immature. Enjoy it while you can. Your about to get shut down my friend.
    Remember you reap what you sow.

    • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 9:15 pm

      Can you show me a link to where I can collect this fee from Facebook likes? Because I’ve never heard of such a thing. People with millions of likes on their pages must be incredibly rich…

      I use pictures in my articles like every other blog and website on the planet. If you could show me a single time where I claimed ownership of any of them or claimed that I took the photos myself, that would be great.

      Unfortunately, none of this will happen because nothing you are saying makes any sense.

      Have a great night!

      – James

      • marcius1213 on January 26, 2015 at 11:39 pm

        I’m not going to waste my time with you anymore because like I said before. You have shown your
        “TRUE” ” COLORS”.
        People like you try to hide but can’t because your feet isn’t planted on solid ground.
        Have a goodnight also!



      • James Michael Sama on January 26, 2015 at 11:39 pm

        Thanks!



      • Tracy on February 4, 2015 at 8:57 am

        Marcius 1213 you wont waste your time? Why are you following him everywhere? @james, I think you have a gay stalker here. @marcius GET A LIFE!!!



      • Heba on March 4, 2015 at 3:52 pm

        Sorry but no reason if u want to cheat don’t maried..! Simpl ??



    • Tracy on February 4, 2015 at 8:53 am

      Marcus 1213 You are the Immature here, the fake!!! you cant even show your face!!
      Why are you jealous?? So what if he strip the whole damn world wide web and use it
      for his Blog? Instead of you destroying this man’s reputation which don’t give a damn about)try to make a blog. We’ll see who is better, We’ll see who reaps and who sows.

      Get a LIFE nigga!!! Don’t be a stalker… Geeezzz…..

  4. Sav on January 27, 2015 at 12:49 am

    Nice to read 🙂
    Unfortunately, it reminds me of my ex who is “not a good man”. Every detail you explain above is true and it made me realized maybe he doesn’t love me enough to be the man I deserved.

  5. Treece on January 27, 2015 at 7:57 am

    James, I’d watch out, it looks like you have a jealous stalker on your hands. Hopefully one day he can extend his vocabulary beyond “fake, phony, superficial, materialistic, sarcastic, immature.” In the mean time, I enjoy reading your blog and I hope you don’t let the anonymous internet trolls keep you down.

  6. Bhushu on January 27, 2015 at 8:30 am

    Totally enjoy reading your take on men ( are from mars) from a male perspective ..,and women ( from Venus).

    Would love your ideas about 25 plus year relationships and not taking your partner for granted. The best ways to communicate when things are volatile or the love is waining yet the partner says they don’t want out declaring they love you?!!

    Btw, the Stalker does not even seem to be using their real name (talk about lying). they are obnoxious. Hope you can block them.

  7. MeAndDating on January 27, 2015 at 11:16 am

    Marcius sounds like a woman to me. I had a nutcase stalker too once. They eventually latch onto someone else to vent their bile at. Ignore until then.

  8. MeAndDating on January 27, 2015 at 11:22 am

    Back on topic.

    A good man won’t cheat because he loves the woman in his life.

    Any woman who thinks she’ll get over it, forgive him, is living in a fool’s paradise. He loves himself more than he loves you. Life’s too short, move on.

    Any woman who has an affair with an attached man is also a fool. If he’s the type to cheat with you, given enough time, he’ll cheat on you too.

    I’m in my mid-40s now and in my life I’ve only met 3 men who have cheated. The vast majority of men are NOT cheats, contrary to popular female stereotypes.

    • Mike on July 21, 2016 at 2:03 am

      @meanddating …
      I knew a couple that went through a rough patch when they were younger, due to a variety of issues and lack of communication. During that period, he cheated on her as an effort to end the relationship. (One of the things mentioned in this article.)

      When the affair was discovered, he learned how much his wife REALLY DID love him. She learned how much he valued communication and that they really needed to put more focus on each other. That was 15 or 20 years ago. I still know that couple, and they are the happiest married couple I’ve ever seen. (and I have zero doubt that either of them would ever cheat again). I used to believe as you do .. but after being witness to this mess (they are close friends of mine) I now believe you need to look at the cause of the issue before throwing away the whole marriage. Young people change as they grow up and they (sadly) don’t always handle that change with finesse.

      Now, if a person is a serial cheater, then I agree …. run for the hills !!! 🙂

  9. Trevor on January 27, 2015 at 12:14 pm

    “if he was less busy or had more time he would be using that time to find new ways to love the woman he already has” This is so cheesy and stupid. This only appeals to women and delusional/obsessive men. Love and good relationship is not some perfect fairy-tel were you have some perfect man. I am sure your wife roles her eyes at your articles secretly in her head lol. MeAndDating is right women cheat far far more then men without a doubt.

  10. Kate on January 28, 2015 at 12:02 pm

    These are the same reasons I won’t cheat as a girl…except the too busy one. I think these are character traits of a good person not just a good man. But it should be noted that a man with these traits should get back just as much as he gives in a relationship!

    • James Michael Sama on January 28, 2015 at 2:26 pm

      Of course, but as noted in the article I am a man and write from the male perspective. This article is about men specifically, that doesn’t mean the same things do or don’t go for women, it’s just not the topic at hand.

  11. Angelica on January 29, 2015 at 8:12 pm

    Nice blog post!,
    I have read all the post,comments etc., it doesn’t matter how good or bad was the author of this which is James, readers don’t actually care about that. The main focus here is the content of the post which is a great help for some readers that finds or compares things and ideas on how they can fix,maintain or start their relationship. like me 🙂

  12. Jethro D on January 30, 2015 at 9:55 am

    I cried reading this article. I just can’t take how the world is being fooled by lust. It reminds me of how I used to be, how I acted and how unfaithful I was. I wish I could turn back time…
    I just can’t bare loosing my only one love.

    • lalaine monoy on January 30, 2015 at 11:35 pm

      repentance do always comes at last eh
      . but it’s never too late i guess…

    • beez on July 29, 2015 at 10:39 pm

      I hear you.
      I’m getting a second chance.
      I was unfaithful to the love of my life.
      Thank God he is willing to work on the things that drove us apart in the first place.
      I am a good woman, I did something I would take back if there was ANY WAY THAT I COULD. I well live the test of my life with this regret.
      I am grateful for MY GOOD MAN, because a good Man recognizes sincerity, and understand forgiveness.
      God Bless.

  13. Ginger on January 30, 2015 at 11:48 am

    Funny that THIS link came up right after yours: http://lmfao-news.com/top-reasons-guys-cheat (the sex isn’t good enough, she nags, boredom, she “let’s herself go”, need more “stimulation”, chase and conquest…). All so shallow.

    It doesn’t matter how bored you are in a relationship, how many women or men come on to you at work or bars…. if you’ve made a commitment to be faithful to someone you should be faithful. If some girl at work is throwing herself at you and you’re interested, you owe it to the one you’ve committed to to at least break off with them before pursuing another relationship. If you don’t want to be with just one person, don’t commit to one person. Problem solved.

    Never an excuse for cheating.

  14. scarlett on January 30, 2015 at 4:36 pm

    James, what is your take on swinging and open relationships?

  15. Bianca Victor on January 31, 2015 at 7:50 am

    Its a real good post you’ve got here. Wish most men share this insight as these and many more keep me going as a female especially d integrity aspect.

    I’m lucky to have a man who’s just for me as I am for him too. Contrary to popular belief that “ALL MEN CHEAT”, I’m holding on to God as our strength & not giving in to distractions and discouragements.

    However, I’m also praying it remains so as I ain’t sure where to start nor what to do if “it” happens; question I’m being constantly asked. All I know’s that it’ll be the beginning of the end. We’ve being good friends for about 5yrs, dating for 2yrs+ & currently engaged to be married soonest.

    God bless me n God bless you too. I pray testimonies on the lips of everyone who dreams of this too.

  16. Vashti Quiroz-Vega on February 1, 2015 at 11:07 am

    Hello James! This is a wonderful post. There are many women that need to regain their faith in men and I believe reading this post is a good step toward that. Eleven great reasons. Thank you! 😀

  17. 11 Reasons Good Men Won’t Cheat - on February 2, 2015 at 8:21 pm

    […] article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. Follow him on Twitter and […]

  18. John on February 5, 2015 at 8:33 am

    James,

    Nice article. Solid points. My ex who, I cheated on, sent this to me. Didn’t respond to any other of my comments or questions… Just sent me this article. I was already going down a path to try to repair the mistakes I made. Not just to try to get her back but to better myself and surround myself with better energy, but this helped a little bit more. Printed these points out on and put it on my refrigerator so I can see it every morning. Thanks for the advice.

    John

  19. […] article originally appeared on James M. Sama’s blog, and is reprinted in partnership with The Good Men […]

  20. Kimi on February 8, 2015 at 11:50 am

    I love your post and I know several men who are still on the cheating stage despite commitments and all.

    James, by the way, I wish you can trace your stalker tho. It’s dangerous, looks like you have a mad and jealous person lurking around.

  21. […] article originally appeared on James M. Sama’s blog, and is reprinted in partnership with The Good Men […]

  22. […] This article originally appeared on James M. Sama’s blog. […]

  23. Danny on February 14, 2015 at 12:22 am

    Hello James, those are all great reasons. You forgot the most important one. A good man is a God fearing man. Who will do what is right, and just. for the glory of God. Above all things. Then all the things you listed, will just happen automatically.

    • Marie on March 26, 2015 at 9:25 am

      Well said….that should be the first point reason.

      • James Michael Sama on March 26, 2015 at 9:29 am

        That’s a matter of opinion. As an atheist, that reasoning doesn’t apply to me. I am a good person because I choose to be and because I love my girlfriend, not because I fear any god. So, to each their own.

        It is not missing from the list, it is just not necessary for some people in order to be good.



    • Alexis B on August 19, 2015 at 10:28 am

      I’m glad James got on here and said what I was going to, but I figured he could use some back-up. Being religious, or ‘god-fearing’, is not an automatic quality of a good person. In fact, I’ve been so mistreated by ‘god-fearing’ people in the past, that when I was dating, having a guy tell me he believed in God was actually a deal-breaker. I want someone who is good because they WANT to be. I want someone who is moral and just and who has empathy for others because they care about other people and because the world works better with caring and understanding. I don’t want a person who has these qualities because a book written by men thousands of years ago (a book that also does a great job of downplaying women) says they should. I don’t want a man who is faithful because he’s worried about sending his immortal soul to hell for the rest of eternity. I want a man who is faithful because he loves me too much to think about being with other women. So no, being a Christian is not the mark of a ” good man.” Just like how all poodles are dogs, but not all dogs are poodles.

  24. Good Read. | Insights. on February 15, 2015 at 11:53 pm

    […] Why GOOD men don’t cheat. […]

  25. Danver on February 27, 2015 at 5:25 am

    Hi Mr. Sama,

    Thank you for your article. I’d like to know more about happiness though, like how to become happier, even though you have financial insecurities.

  26. […] A good man will never cheat on you. […]

  27. mr. grey on March 19, 2015 at 1:36 am

    its funny how this “Good Men” post, comes with a porn video screenshot.

    • James Michael Sama on March 19, 2015 at 9:13 am

      It’s just a photo from tumblr. But if that’s where it’s from, it is kind of funny.

  28. Candy on March 23, 2015 at 11:28 am

    So glad someone is writing about how to be a good man as opposed to all of the garbage set forth by Mens Health magazine about sex without commitment. My husband started hanging with the wrong crowd at work (sleazy, cheating, drinking food salesmen) and off he went and had an affair. What a loser. Can’t wait to clean his dumb ass now with an STD in divorce court. Mrs.George Patouhas,, Lansdowne, PA

  29. modayear on April 19, 2015 at 12:33 am

    I’m not here to critique. Just wanted to say that it’s a refreshing switch to see the post about why a good man wouldn’t cheat, as opposed to the usual “why people cheat” post.

  30. […] truth is…hear me out here…not everybody cheats. There are people out there who possess the self control to understand that a loving, healthy […]

  31. […] truth is — and hear me out here — not everybody cheats. There are people out there who possess the self-control to understand that a loving, healthy […]

  32. Charles Edward Pasley on May 10, 2015 at 12:12 pm

    This is an excellent article. I am a “one-woman” man who has never cheated and never will and I am in agreement with all eleven of James’ points in this article. Although I know many men (and woman) who have cheated, I know even more men (and women) who have not. I don’t think that cheaters have much self-respect. Cheaters (men or women) who have children really cause problems for their children, in my opinion.

    • Tammy Sergent McMasters on June 17, 2015 at 4:26 pm

      When I first started dating my boyfriend he told me he was a one woman man and I believed him. After 27 years of marriage he was attracted to a girl 30 years younger then him and she was very accessible because he played volleyball on a rec. league with her. He invited me to play in the same league and told me about the 2 month fling he had with this girl. Said they were just friends.. So I thought he was honest by telling me that. Fast forward two years and he’s been in contact with her for two years even after I moved in with him. Even though I suspected he wasn’t telling me the complete truth he reassured me they were friends until I discovered thousands of text messages to her. After confronting him and digging deeper found out that he slept with her for the first 6 months we dated. He stopped all contact with her, admitted his mistake, wants to rebuild our relationship. I’m deeply hurt by the betrayal and having trouble getting beyond this. We’ve talked about this in great length but I can’t stop thinking that our relationship was build on dishonesty. I committed to the relationship believing he was committed to only me.
      James can you publish articles on healing from betrayal and lies after cheating.

  33. […] truth is…hear me out here…not everybody cheats. There are people out there who possess the self control to understand that a loving, healthy […]

  34. […] Mmmmmm…no they don’t. Plus, we all know the old question about whether or not you’d jump off of a bridge if everyone else was doing it. […]

  35. […] Mmmmmm…no they don’t. Plus, we all know the old question about whether or not you’d jump off of a bridge if everyone else was doing it. […]

  36. […] Mmmmmm…no they don’t. Plus, we all know the old question about whether or not you’d jump off of a bridge if everyone else was doing it. […]

  37. Jaketanakkarakter on July 4, 2015 at 1:53 am

    Reblogged this on jaketanakanak.

  38. Amanda on July 16, 2015 at 8:02 am

    Hi, I would like to throw in my two cents worth on cheating – I completely agree that it is wrong and no decent person will willingly do that to another. But there are circumstances where a situation can get out of hand and lead to cheating without it being the original intention. Let me explain.

    I was in a situation a couple of years ago where I was single for about 5 years. During those 5 years I was in love with a good friend of mine. He never showed any interest in me. He took me on one date and decided to pursue a relationship with someone else. They were engaged, but broke up eventually. After that he pursued another woman again. There were a number of occasions in the 5 years where he would flirt with me, but then turn around and pursue someone else. I eventually got tired of hoping and waiting and always being second best and tried to move on with my life. Eventually I met someone else through a mutual friend. Great guy. Marriage material. He loved me to bits from the very first date and made his intentions towards me very clear. He was an honorable guy. We spent some time together to get to know each other. After about two months of spending time with him this friend of mine, who I met for coffee to discuss some accounting work that he wanted me to do for his business, told me that he liked me and that he wanted a give a relationship between us a go before I get married to someone else. This stirred up all the old feelings that I had for him before. I was a mess – halfway involved with someone new (it was still early days i.t.o a solid relationship) when past came knocking. I took some time to think things over and then decided to continue with the new relationship for various reasons which I won’t go into, but the friend did not take that well at all. He tried to convince me to leave the new guy for him on more than one occasion. He knew I was seeing him, but he would persist in spite of that. I tried my hardest to say no to him and to stand up to him more than once over an 18 month period. We had very intense fights and he gave me ultimatums on more than one occasion – saying that I need to break with this guy and commit to him or else we are done forever. As I mentioned, I said no, but he wouldn’t let up. He would stop for a month or two and then he would try his luck again. It caused a lot of stress and drama for myself and my family. I agreed to meet him for coffee the one day so that I can explain myself to him, thinking that I can’t run away from him forever and hopefully that it would bring him some closure and peace. That day we disagreed and fought for about an hour. I tried my hardest to stand up to him. I was as cold as ice. And he tried his hardest to break through all my walls and get to my heart. He is a very strong man. I’ve never had to make myself so strong to stand up to a man and I have never felt a man use his strength to win me over like I did that day. Eventually I broke down and started crying. I told him I can’t do this anymore and that I don’t know if I am making a mistake, but this is the choice that I made and that I am trying my best to honor it for the sake of my relationship. He came to sit next to me. He hugged me and then we kissed. It was a mistake. Emotionally I was screwed after that and it had a very negative impact on me and on my relationship! I did not go see my friend that day with the intention to cheat at all. But that is where I ended up.

    Was that cheating? Technically yes! Was it planned or intentional? No, definitely not! I felt horrible after that and I never want to be in a situation like that ever again. To this day I cannot forget what happened and I feel guilty and ashamed about it.

    The end of the story was that I decided to get myself out of that situation, so that I can have some peace. It started to affect my concentration at work. I ended the relationship with the new guy and I moved to a different town. I have not spoken to the friend of mine since. Both of them got married to someone else.

    Overall it was an extremely sad, traumatic and unpleasant experience. One I do not want to relive ever again. My integrity and reputation is something I value and I did great damage that day to myself, my relationship, my friendship and my family because of my own stupid actions.

  39. 11 Reasons Good Men Won’t Cheat. on August 17, 2015 at 5:46 pm

    […] article originally appeared on James Michael Sama’s Blog. You can Follow him on Twitter and […]

  40. […] can’t say I feel bad for those whose information has been released, as I am adamantly anti-cheating, though I am undecided on the severity of the punishment. Perhaps names would have been enough, but […]

  41. Nina on October 10, 2015 at 8:32 am

    I really enjoyed reading your post, James. We can’t read something like this very often. It seems to me, the other side is more popular. Louder, let’s say.

    I especially like the second reason – a good man has evolved beyond his primal urges. Monogamy IS a choice and we are NOT puppets of our own sexual drive.

    I know mature men exist and there is abundance of them. They just don’t brag about it. They should speak out more often, though. To read/hear an article like this one feels reassuring and gives young men a great example.

    James, thank you for the post.

  42. […] A good man will never cheat in a relationship because cheating means going back on his word or breaking a promise he has made to someone he loves. […]

  43. 11 Reasons A Good Guy Won’t Cheat On You on March 31, 2016 at 10:59 am

    […] This article originally appeared on James M. Sama’s blog, […]

  44. Ellen B. on July 20, 2016 at 10:05 pm

    I did not have a clue at the time in 1988, who I was actually marrying. Seriously, I only married him because he was fun, kind but most importantly, he made me laugh. Girls love their Dad, didn’t even think that either, at the time. I married a well read, kind, gentle and very accepting man that my Dad taught me to love. I lucked out! Wish everyone the same!

  45. […] This article originally appeared on James M. Sama’s blog, […]

  46. Elena Novak on September 10, 2016 at 11:01 am

    Thank your for your thoughts, James. Keep sharing your light. It is good to know that there are men out there who won’t cheat and have solid, conscious reasons for it. I appreciate you.

  47. 11 Reasons Good Men Won’t Cheat on December 30, 2016 at 12:41 am

    […] This post was republished from: jamesmsama.com. You can find the original post here. […]

  48. Lacey on January 24, 2017 at 12:34 am

    Pin my tail and call me a doeynk, that really helped.

  49. patrick more on March 14, 2017 at 2:50 am

    My husband use to be a big time cheat and i was curious of getting proofs about it for real then i saw recommendations about ELECTRONICSOLUTIONS44 GMAIL COM online and never hesitated to contact him, his a very good hacker and can help hack into any device, social networks including – Facebook, Twitter accounts, Snap chat messages and also any other social media sites. He asked me for some few information about my husband mobile device no personal info was asked for also, i provided it all to him and in less than 24 hours i was getting too see my husband text messages, call logs and as well as whats app messages as they come into his phone, i was able to get good and solid proof for my Antony to file a divorce, if you are having similar issues i would advice you contact ELECTRONICSOLUTIONS44 GMAIL COM tell him Leliah Bills referred you.

  50. http://www.readysetgrow.org/ on March 22, 2017 at 5:29 am

    klast du borde lägg ut textin. det finns ju dom som lägger sina barn i skönhetstävlingar. Kanske inte det bästa föräldraskapet, men vilka är vi att döma? Och är det här en metafor? Nu har jag glömt vad vi pratade om…

  51. […] I have long since held the position that someone who truly loves and cares for you, will never cheat on you. […]

  52. Amy on October 4, 2017 at 12:10 am

    I’m so glad to hear you say you have never and would never cheat! I’ve been told by multiple people that me saying that I can promise and guarantee that I will never cheat is me just being naive and have not had hard times to put me in that place where I would make that decision. But they are so wrong! I have been in that place my soon to be ex husband of 24 years had been cheating for the last 9 of those years so I had the opportunity to feel like I would be justified to do so but it’s just not in me….not something I believe in . So I can honestly say I can promise a boy friend or spouse I would never!! I’ve been told that no one can make that promise…and all guys cheat but I refuse to believe that….and then I can across your article. Loved it. I’m still fairly young at 42 and believe I still have many many years to spend with someone who believes the Same as I do. So thank you!

  53. […] I have long since held the position that someone who truly loves and cares for you, will never cheat on you. […]

  54. […] I have long since held the position that someone who truly loves and cares for you, will never cheat on you. […]

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