7 Do’s And Don’ts Of The Confident Woman


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There are many things which enhance the power of a woman. A sparking personality, quick wit, developed intellect, impeccable style…

But above all, a woman’s confidence can be one of her most powerful assets.


Her confidence shows through everything. It speaks louder than the shoes she wears, the places she travels, and sometimes even louder than the books she reads. It is reflected by the way she carries herself and the way she treats others. It can open doors for her in life, and lack of it can close them again.

So, what marks the differences between a truly confident woman, and one who is just trying too hard?


– A confident woman will hold high standards for who she allows in her life, both as friends and intimately. She knows her value and will not let anyone into her circles who will drag her down.

– A confident woman will not settle for those who don’t deserve her time or attention. If someone brings drama or negativity to her life, she will realize it’s time to cut them out, or at least lessen her time with them.


– A confident woman will recognize herself and her talents as being unique and valuable. She will utilize her skill set(s) to advance herself in life and accomplish the goals she sets for herself.

– A confident woman will not allow herself to succumb to societal pressures of what she ‘should’ be like or ‘should do’ – she will be her own person and not lose sight of her own worth just because someone else may not see it.



– A confident woman will be self-reliant and strive to learn new things. She will grab life by the horns every chance she gets. Go out to dinner alone, fix something that breaks in the house, take a new class or read a new book. A renaissance woman has no need to rely on anyone.

– A confident woman will not continue putting herself in positions where she must be taken care of. She will appreciate those who do things for her out of love because she knows it’s a sign they care for her, but she won’t need them to.


– A confident woman will have her own identity in a relationship. She will be a man’s partner and teammate. She will be the other half of the power couple.

– A confident woman will not let a man, or anyone, define her. This is incredibly detrimental to self-esteem and she will begin to feel like less of a person if she’s single. A woman who relies on having a man in her life to define her self-worth will always be chasing after people, instead of realizing her value and letting them come to her.


– A confident woman will continue to be her loving, caring self, regardless of who appreciates it or who doesn’t. She is who she is because of her, not anyone else. If someone doesn’t value her, she understands it has more to do with them, and less to do with her. She will not let someone change her in this way.

– A confident woman will not allow herself to be changed by the actions of others. She will not become harsh or cruel if she is genuinely kind-hearted. She will take pride in her loving nature. She will be nice to others because of who she is, not because of who they are.



– A confident woman will be content with her own self-worth and the adoration of those who love her. She will present herself with cool, calm, and collected class.

– A confident woman will not feel the need to publicly compliment herself or chase after attention. She doesn’t need to seek validation from others in order to make her feel good about herself, and she understands the only true lasting confidence comes from within.


And perhaps most of all, a confident woman will never stay in a situation or a relationship where she is not valued, celebrated, or appreciated.


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  1. Yasha on August 31, 2014 at 2:29 pm

    Reblogged this on Dil Chahta Hai and commented:
    Wonderfully put up.

  2. Susan on August 31, 2014 at 3:22 pm

    Very true! The problem with being a confident woman is that seemingly, men seem to be scared of us! Ughhh, where are all the good, confident men? 😮

    • Bugged on August 31, 2014 at 3:56 pm

      Agreed Susan! I guess we just have to search a little harder, after all we are looking for the exceptional 🙂

  3. Antoine Borg on August 31, 2014 at 3:44 pm

    Confidence is a very attractive and sexy quality in a woman, that’s true. Sometimes, I find that women can be too confident though. Like this one: http://yinology.org/confident/

  4. sb on August 31, 2014 at 3:55 pm

    James, while I agree with most everything you have written, you may have over-stepped a bit on that last comment. It is difficult to describe what it is like being in an abusive relationship. You can have all the confidence in the world going in, but the manipulation is what breaks you down. This may happen at a very slow rate until, yes, someday your eyes open and you realize what this has done to you. And, depending on the situation, sometimes strength supersedes confidence so eventually, whenever it may be, you can become whole again. Remember, we can’t always walk in another person’s shoes. Often times the confidence has always been there but someone has taken advantage of the situation and pushed it way, way, back in a corner.

    • Belén on August 31, 2014 at 4:42 pm

      sb – I couldn’t agree with you more. Well said.

      • James Michael Sama on August 31, 2014 at 4:46 pm

        I wasn’t talking about abuse. In fact I have multiple articles by more qualified people than myself on that topic. I understand its nuances and difficulties. The final point in this article was about being unappreciated, in the sense of an othetwise healthy relationship simply not being up to par in going both directions. Not about one that is abusive.

    • sb on August 31, 2014 at 8:07 pm

      James, I appreciate your response but I feel the need to make myself clear. I understand that you may not have been specifically talking about an abusive situation, but abusive relationships include all three of the dynamics you stated in your last comment. I am simply saying, that your last comment may not always be true. A woman who is in an abusive relationship is not always allowed the choices that other women may have. Her choice to stay may be for bigger reasons that don’t have anything to do with confidence. Take, for example, the idea that if she leaves, she will have no means to feed her children, or worse yet, she will lose them to the abusive partner. It is not that she lacks confidence; it may be strength beyond confidence. She may be actually choosing between being confident and the well being of another human being. And, yes, unfortunately, to some, she may seem to lack confidence. This seems to be a common misconception and this idea needs to be challenged. But to state that a confident woman NEVER stays in a situation or relationship where she is not valued, celebrated, or appreciated is making assumptions. Sometimes, James, those women have more confidence and strength than that which is obvious to the outsider looking in. Hence, the reminder that until we walk in another person’s shoes…

  5. michelleshenhouse on August 31, 2014 at 5:38 pm

    Reblogged this on Michelle's Hen House and commented:

  6. rlcarterrn on August 31, 2014 at 7:03 pm

    As always, great article! I hope I will alway stay true to these principles.

  7. If only every girl and boy had parents who lived by these principles, our world would be a much nicer place to live. When one is confident, stealing what does not belong to you is not necessary nor does everyone have to believe in the same higher power.

  8. dbsanwgaconsumernetwork on September 2, 2014 at 9:04 am

    Reblogged this on DBSA NW Georgia Consumer Network.

  9. Mia on September 3, 2014 at 8:30 am

    Reblogged this on Wanderlust and commented:
    Take notes ladies 🙂

  10. emberangel on September 5, 2014 at 8:42 pm

    Reblogged this on Tyto Books and commented:
    My goal: be happier and more confident!

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  13. […] sure that you show confidence when interacting with men. The good thing about coming across as a confident woman is that it tends to do help do a lot of the screening. Most guys who are jerks don't want to be […]

  14. Cindy Montana on January 23, 2015 at 9:36 am

    Your blog has totally transformed me and my views on relationships and given me the strength to walk away from a very dysfunctional relationship, It has also led me towards a path that saw me meet a man that truly appreciates my worth and loves me for who I am and not for what I am. I look into that man’s eyes and every thing falls into perspective, every thing makes sense..

    • James Michael Sama on January 23, 2015 at 10:09 am

      Cindy – that is such an amazing thing to hear! Thank you for letting me know, making a difference in people’s lives just like the one you’ve described here is the reason why I started this blog in the first place. The ability to recognize your own value and walk away from anyone who doesn’t, is so important when it comes to building happy and healthy relationships.

      Very happy for you, and I am honored that I could be part of your transformation! Wishing you all of the happiness in the world!

      – James

  15. Kate's Bookshelf on January 24, 2015 at 4:16 am

    This is lovely. I’m not the world’s most confident woman, but it’s good to have these reminders around. Thank you, James.

  16. shanv1 on January 29, 2015 at 6:46 am

    Reblogged this on Breakfast Quotes and commented:
    A beautiful thought that every women should know, believe and follow!

  17. Heplep on April 3, 2015 at 8:15 am

    Couldn’t agree more! These are qualities all women should aspire to. Of course, they all apply to men as well. There’s nothing here that applies exclusively to one sex.

  18. Mahima Bhatia on May 20, 2015 at 6:54 pm

    Really needed this today. Trying to rebuild my self worth.
    Thanks James!
    Love from India!

  19. Nik (@sweetchinky88) on May 25, 2015 at 2:55 am

    Loved It

  20. Alaround World with ayesha on May 26, 2015 at 3:18 am

    Reblogged this on Alaround World with Ash.

  21. joannachee66 on June 9, 2015 at 12:35 am

    Reblogged this on joannachee66 and commented:
    Ispiration being a Confident women from my experiences, to live and continuous learning with gratefulness for your read💕

  22. […] 絶大な人気を誇るブロガーのJames Michael Sama氏が書いた自信のある女性の共通点。憧れの対象となる彼女たちの特徴が「すること」「しないこと」に分けて紹介されています。 […]

  23. […] 絶大な人気を誇るブロガーのJames Michael Sama氏が書いた自信のある女性の共通点。憧れの対象となる彼女たちの特徴が「すること」「しないこと」に分けて紹介されています。 […]

  24. […] 絶大な人気を誇るブロガーのJames Michael Sama氏が書いた自信のある女性の共通点。憧れの対象となる彼女たちの特徴が「すること」「しないこと」に分けて紹介されています。 […]

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