8 Signs He’s Not Boyfriend Material

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So, you’ve met this great guy. This like, really great guy. So great that you’ve told your friends about him and how you “really think there’s potential there.” But there is something pulling at your female intuition that you’re just not sure about. Is he really boyfriend material? Will he commit?

Here are some signs that he may be someone to move past if you’re looking for a real relationship.

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You never seem to get his full attention.

Sure, guys can still look (but don’t touch) when they’re in a relationship, and we know that you understand that. But there is a difference between a man that casually glances at an attractive woman, and one who constantly seems to always be “checking out the competition.”

If you feel that he is always on the lookout for the next best thing, trust your instincts, he probably is.

He is always chasing after the chase.

Men who are perpetually single are often drawn to the chase, the exciting phase in the beginning of the relationship where he gets to challenge himself and see if he’s “got it,” which in turn means he can get you. If after a few dates you feel him pulling away a little, try to discover what it is he’s looking for.

Just make sure not to bring it up too soon, that could give some hesitancy to a man even if he is interested in something more.

He has a pattern of short relationships.

I have had discussions with women who have dated men with a clear pattern of short intense “relationships” that never lasted more than couple of months. There is usually one excuse or another for this, but it’s important to keep in mind that there is a common denominator in all of these things that didn’t work out – him.

It is always possible for a man to change when he meets the right woman, but if you are her – you will know. If you are always left wondering about this, then you may be the next point in his pattern, and you’re better than that.

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His standards are way too high.

I, admittedly, used to be this guy. I still kind of am in certain ways because I do believe in holding high standards for yourself, but they also have to be realistic. Through conversations you will start to get a feel for what he is looking for in a woman and in a relationship. Some men purposely set the bar unreasonably high because it gives them an excuse to not commit and a story for why it “didn’t work out,” which in reality just comes down to sabotage on his end.

Don’t take it personally, until he is ready for a relationship, nobody would ever be good enough because his standards have nothing to do with an actual person. They are simply put in place to give him an excuse to stay single.

He is never sincere with you.

Needless to say, relationships are not all fun and games. They encompass real life situations, good and bad. They require a deep, meaningful connection which can never be built with someone who is always joking around or avoiding important topics.

You need to know this man will be there by your side through the ups and downs of life, and someone who doesn’t have the capacity to face issues with maturity will not be him.

He is inconsistent.

If he is great at times but then disappears for days, he is not as great as you think he is. Consistency is important in a partner because it assures you that you know what you are getting. That they are going to be there when you need them. That they won’t try to win your love and then Houdini on you. This type of person will never make you a priority in their life because they only act in accordance to what they need based on their fleeting moods. This is not someone you can trust your heart with.

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He is never at fault.

Even when he is. A man who cannot admit when he is wrong can be harboring some serious self-esteem issues and a lack of depth required to make compromises and sacrifices for his teammate (you). If he is always putting the blame on someone else, it will only be a matter of time before you realize that he will be saying every issue you face is your fault, which never leads to anything good.

This type of man will never be able to self-reflect, recognize his faults (which we all have), and therefore work on them. It will be a never-ending cycle of blame – which is never healthy in any relationship.

He is abusive in any way shape or form.

The instant you experience any sign of abuse, walk away immediately. There is absolutely no excuse for someone to verbally or physically assault you if they “love” you. This is a very serious point to be made and needs to be understood that things do not just get better when you are with a person who mistreats you.

Please, have the courage to remove yourself from any emotionally or physically abusive situation that you even think might develop.

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Next time you find yourself wondering if the person you’re seeing is genuine or if you could have a future together, make sure to be honest with yourself when recognizing these potential warning signs.

A woman’s intuition is a powerful force, don’t ignore it.

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8 Comments

  1. Tom on August 30, 2014 at 1:18 pm

    I am going through this, but as a man in a relationship with a woman. Wouldn’t you say this article could be also titled ‘Signs he or she is not relationship material’?

  2. International Journal of Research on August 30, 2014 at 1:19 pm

    Good thoughts…

  3. Ashley on August 30, 2014 at 2:23 pm

    Great points of advice – definitely agreed.

  4. rickyzg on August 30, 2014 at 5:57 pm

    This is like mini list, agreed with those points.

  5. lovelygirl on August 30, 2014 at 7:13 pm

    Thank you for your post. It does a girl a lot of good when she is able to recognise these signs. I wish I had seen this earlier.

  6. francelag on September 4, 2014 at 9:34 pm

    Reblogged this on Francela Gutiérrez.

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