As someone who publishes articles on the topics of romance, chivalry, and gentlemen being the new bad boys, it may come as a surprise to some of you to see an article about men needing to maintain an “edge,” but let me explain.
Much of what I talk about is men being men. Yes, we should see women as equals and never disrespect or mistreat them, but that is a separate issue in itself. We can still be respectful towards women and keep our identity as a man.
If we want to be attractive to the woman in our life, we cannot become pieces of mush that they walk all over. Being chivalrous and romantic is not about being entirely submissive. Cooperation and compromise are not the same as self sacrifice, which I think is a common misconception. Men take things too far, do everything the woman in their life says, and then wonder why they cannot keep her happy in the long run.
Here is the harsh truth – she stopped respecting you. She stopped respecting you because you became a doormat. You became her puppy, almost, dare I say, her servant. Men need to keep our edge because it is the root of our sex appeal. We need to keep our edge because it is what makes us exciting. We need to keep our edge because it is what makes us men.
Gender roles are going further and further out the window. Men are staying home to take care of the kids, helping to cook and clean and do laundry. As we should. We should be pulling our weight in a relationship in different ways than our predecessors. The line down the middle of “men do this, women do that,” is blurred – if not entirely erased.
While this is largely a good thing, it can be dangerous for men. It can be dangerous because we can easily become too malleable and try to fit into this mold of flexibility so much, that we find ourselves losing sight of who we really are. We try so hard to define what the “modern man” looks like, that we lose sight of our roots. We don’t have to erase ourselves and start from scratch, we can take the base we already have and build upon it.
Women don’t want men who drift too far into one direction. They don’t want a man who is emotionally cold and grunts while he chugs beer out of his huge beer stein and chomps on the leg of whatever he beat over the head with a club earlier in the day. This man will never be able to give her what she needs to be emotionally satisfied.
They also don’t want to come home to find you crying at the television during a Hallmark commercial. This man will never take enough of a masculine role in order to make her feel like a woman.
We have to find ourselves in the middle. We have to understand that we can still be men while also having the softness that is required to really relate to the woman in our life. We have to show her that she can rely on us. That we can protect her, even if she doesn’t need it. That we can provide for her, even if she makes more money than us. That we will be her man.
Keep her excited. Keep her attracted to you. Keep her respecting you as you respect her. This is what will keep your relationship fresh. You can do all of this and still be nice – Nice guys do not finish last, boring guys do.
You don’t have to be a bad boy or a nice guy, you can be both. Challenge her, seduce her, empower her. But also love, honor, and value her.
Did you enjoy this article? Please use the buttons below to share it on social media and enter your email here to be notified when new content is published!
Subscribe to Blog via Email
Click here to connect with me on Twitter -> [twitter-follow screen_name=’JamesMSama’]