Gentlemen, we have found ourselves in a society of unsatisfied women who think that men are generally clueless about how to (and how not to) date. There are a lot of examples they can give to call out many of our male counterparts – everything from disappearing after they decline an invite to “come over,” to being generally apathetic throughout a relationship.
So, here are a few quick tips for those of you out in the dating world to help you set yourself apart from the crowd.
Learning about her > Talking about yourself.
In a dating environment we all have the tendency to try to “sell ourselves” to our new prospective teammate. I’m sure she would love to hear about that time you rescued 17 puppies that were careening towards a waterfall during your most recent white water rafting excursion, but conversations are a two way street.
Don’t get so caught up in trying to prove how cool you are that you lose track of learning about her as well. Remember, you are trying to determine if she is a good match for you also – don’t run the conversation too much.
Be up front with her.
Yes, this does need to be said, believe it or not. There are too many stories circulating about broken hearts stemming from misrepresenting one’s intentions.
If you love her, tell her. If you don’t love her, tell her. A true gentleman will never make a woman fall if he doesn’t intend on catching her.
Be more chivalrous.
Ah, yes. The general theme of this website – chivalry, romance, and respect. So many men have lost sight of courtship these days that anyone who puts in a respectable amount of effort will automatically stand above the rest.
Need some suggestions? Here are 8 acts of chivalry to bring back.
Toss out the “3 day rule.”
Call when you want to call, text when you want to text – there should be no games or manipulations when building a solid, healthy relationship with someone.
Stay cool, man.
The first point on learning about her does not mean to interrogate her. A date should be a naturally flowing conversation, not a game of 20 questions. I know it can be nerve-wracking, but understand that if a woman accepted your invitation, she wants to spend time with you, too.
So take a deep breath and do your best to go with it.
Actually put effort into the date.
Sure, dinner and a movie is classic, but it doesn’t show much creativity on your part. Furthermore, a movie doesn’t really allow any time to talk and interact, which could make it awkward if you don’t know each other that well yet.
Taking time to plan a date shows her that you are willing to put in effort for her and give thought to what you’ll do together based on her personality. This speaks volumes.
Keep the past in the past.
We are all adults and understand that we’ve all got a past – but that doesn’t mean you need to talk about it early on. It can get awkward fast when exes enter the conversation. Remember you are there to learn about and experience someone new, not to re-hash your experiences with someone old.
Some of these are simple, but if we don’t pay attention to the simple things we will much more easily lose track of the more involved things. If a woman doesn’t see you paying attention to detail, how is she supposed to picture you as a potential partner who she can trust with larger life issues when they arise?
When you build a house, you don’t start with the finishing touches, you start with the basics to build the foundation with. The same goes for dating.
Food for thought, gentlemen.
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