We’ve had a lengthy discussion in the past about things that are making the modern woman less “ladylike,” but men are certainly not perfect either.
You might think some of these are a good idea, but odds are you’re just making the woman in your life uncomfortable. Catch yourself and tone it down whenever you find yourself doing any of these five things.
The social media flood.
Great! You’ve made a new connection with a woman and want to find ways to keep in touch with her. Maybe instead of getting her number she suggested you add her on Facebook (probably to avoid giving you her number…), so you did. Then, you followed her on Twitter. Then, you followed her on Instagram. Then, you add…wait, stop. Just stop it right now.
Too much all at once will be like if you called her, left a voicemail, then texted her immediately after to let her know you’d left her a voicemail and are actually on your way to her address (which you googled) to make sure she’s okay because she hasn’t answered.
Slow it down and keep the social-stalking to a minimum. Just because it’s online doesn’t mean it’s not real life. If you wouldn’t do it in person, don’t do it on the interwebs.
Already having your kids named before dessert comes.
I understand that men can be a little over-zealous too. It’s difficult to find a good woman these days, but when you do find one, try not to smother her like a puppy with a new stuffed animal.
You may be thinking in your head that you want her to have your future babies, but the second you start coming on too strong, you’ll go from charming to borderline creepy.
The easiest way to lose someone is to want them too badly. Play it cool.
Yes, you should make the woman in your life feel beautiful. Yes, you should let her know that you’re attracted to her and that you think she is sexy…but too much of this too early on will make it seem like her looks are the only reason why you want to spend time with her.
Dwelling on her appearance and making weird faces across the table is a great way to make sure she never answers your texts again.
Try to save most of these compliments for after you’ve developed a rapport and began your relationship. In the beginning, compliment her on things that she puts effort into and controls, not just her winnings from the genetic lottery – it will make her feel more valued and that you actually pay attention to her, not her…*ehem*…assets.
Numbers of dollars, that is. Discussing your income or trust fund is not only tacky, but it will send her the wrong message. No woman wants to feel like you’re buying her (I mean, there is one obvious professional exception…), and talking up your savings account will do just that.
Not to mention, talking about your money is just an extension of talking about yourself, which essentially tells her that you’re not really interested in getting to know her – you’re more interested in selling her on what you can do for her, which is no foundation for a relationship at all.
If you are motivated and ambitious, she will read that from your character. Some obvious things will speak for themselves like your car or your condo, but we’re back to playing it cool here, man. Bragging will push her away.
Or whatever non-existent name you want to assign to trying too hard. Some people swear by “peacocking” to get women’s attention, but does it really work? A new fashion study shows: Not in a good way.
When you go overboard or really try to be sexy, a lot of times it can just seem cheesy or creepy. Of course we should all do whatever we can to accentuate our positive attributes and make ourselves feel as confident as possible, but there is a line between doing that and starting to create a whole other persona for yourself.
It’s better to follow the cliche advice of “be yourself” and have a woman turn you down so you can move on with your life, than it is to try to create a fake character that she might actually like, and find out that it was an act all along.
If I’ve just ruined your entire strategy for meeting and attracting women, it might be time for a revamp. There are a lot of dating advice articles out there that suggest things that may get you to a certain point with a certain type of woman, but if you’re looking for a real, genuine connection with someone who values herself and her relationships, you’ve got to let your logical mind be the sand-bag to your emotional hot air balloon.
Keep these points in mind, keep yourself in check, and you’ll be just fine my friend.
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