I have had the privilege of growing up in a very interesting household. My dad is hugely chivalrous (now you know where I get it from), but my mother is very strong and independent. This is one of the reasons why I believe that a man can be chivalrous without minimizing or insulting a woman’s independence.
Though, there are plenty of other things to be observed within this, and other modern relationships.
Primarily, gender roles are stupid.
Women are supposed to cook and clean and “stay in the kitchen” while men are supposed to go cut down trees in the backyard for firewood and grunt and chug beer and demand his woman bring him a sandwich.
What a load of crap.
In modern day, successful relationships, this line has been more than blurred – it has been completely erased.
Of course there are things that, naturally, men and women separate in relationships. There are understood “responsibilities” that fall on each person due to natural abilities or talents – but when one needs help with something, it’s time for the other to step up.
We need to be willing to pick up the slack. Times are not like they used to be – our women are out in the work force hustling and building their own lives.
They are strong, independent, and might even make more money than we do. This means if you’ve got a home, she has more responsibilities than just taking care of it.
Is the laundry strewn across the bed, but she is too busy or stressed out to worry about it? Pick it up and fold it – why wouldn’t you?
Does she work late or run her own business? Get into the kitchen and cook for her. Pour her a glass of wine for when she’s ready, and help her unwind after a long day. These are great ways to show your woman that you respect and appreciate what she does on a daily basis.
These things aren’t a “woman’s job,” they are a person’s job – and when you are in a relationship, you are one half of a team, and teams can’t function if the members don’t work together. Teamwork makes the dreamwork.
This goes both ways. A good man will do anything to help and support his woman, but that doesn’t mean a woman’s job is to sit and be pampered by her man. If you have a good man who is willing to step up and help out, showing him your appreciation by reciprocation is key.
No matter how great someone is, feeling unappreciated for their actions will eventually cause them to slow down and stop.
Does your man need help with the landscaping? Is he busting his ass shoveling after a snowstorm? How about helping him cleaning his car?
You certainly don’t have to take over and do the heavy lifting for him (and he shouldn’t let you anyway), but stepping in to offer a hand in assistance will be appreciated and give you both a sense of accomplishment after completing something together.
The point here is, there is no honor in sitting around and waiting for your significant other to do what they’re “supposed to do.” It will be less productive, efficient, and probably breed resentment that you don’t pull your weight. Times have changed, and so have relationships and what makes them successful.
Perhaps in the 50’s, when men had to work and women could only stay home and take care of the kids, certain things were expected from each gender.
But, it’s not the 50’s anymore – and we shouldn’t act like it, either.
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- Can Chivalry And Equality Co-Exist? (jamesmsama.wordpress.com)