Harvey Weinstein Should Be a Wake-Up Call to Men Everywhere
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Harvey Weinstein, the Hollywood mogul who has recently been outed as a chronic sexual predator and all-around dirtbag, is, unfortunately, not at all a surprise.
That is, if you’ve been paying attention.
Unfortunately, he is not just a Hollywood problem. He is not a 2017 problem. He is the new face of a rampant virus that has lived within humanity since…the beginning of humanity: The entitlement of men to the bodies of women.
The pervasive assumption that simply because you have money, or success, or power, or even a larger physical stature (in his case, much larger…), that you can do whatever you want with women. It’s the same mindset that makes you think you can just… ‘grab them by the pussy.’
For far too long, men have been silent on these issues. Perhaps they don’t think it is their problem. Perhaps they are in denial that it’s such a rampant issue. Perhaps they don’t want to lose their ‘man-card’ by telling another man that his actions are unacceptable.
No more, gentlemen.
For years, I have been saying that more men need to stand with women, and it is more glaring now than ever before. These tragedies are finally coming to light and hopefully slapping men in the face in a way they are unable to ignore.
These are your girlfriends, sisters, mothers, wives, daughters – FRIENDS. These are women you love. Women you are in relationships with. Women you raise. Women you chat up at the coffee shop. Women that walk around as if nothing is wrong. This affects nearly everyone – though many have remained silent about their experiences.
And if that doesn’t make you fucking furious, I don’t know what will.
Almost nothing else enrages me to my very core like the thought of a woman I care about being violated or abused, whether it be emotionally or physically. There is absolutely no excuse for taking advantage of another human being for your own personal gain or desire. There is zero justification whatsoever for dehumanizing someone to the point where they simply serve as an object to fulfill a fantasy.
Here’s the part that’s going to piss people off: Women can’t stop it.
On a mass scale, as an epidemic, women themselves cannot stop the tidal wave of men who operate this way on a daily basis. If they could have, they already would have.
It is men who need to stand up and stop the ‘locker room talk,’ because when we can joke about sexual harassment, it’s a way of allowing it. It’s a way of giving our fellow men permission to ‘go ahead, because she won’t really mind.’
We need to hold each other accountable. It makes me sad and exhausted to have to write this statement yet again, and as I keep reading about more stories arising, I start to throw my hands up and wonder if this fight can ever be won.
But, then, I realize that if those on the good side stop fighting, those on the bad side will have free reign to do whatever they want. If the Hero quits, the Villain wins.
And, we just can’t have that.
What can you do to help? Stop laughing at jokes about sexual harassment. Tell people it’s not cool. Give the women in your life the freedom to speak to you about whatever they need to, free of judgment. Stand behind them as you support their fight.
Do not take over the fight for them, because they don’t need (nor want) you to – but be their ally. Be a force in the world that stands against injustice. Injustice is not something only to be felt when it affects you directly, if you call yourself a good human being, then you feel it when it’s aimed in someone else’s direction.
It’s time for more men to stand up, not only for women, but for what’s right.
Harvey Weinstein may be the newest face of this problem, but the truth is that he is a single tree in and endless forest.
Time to burn that shit down, gentlemen.
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What a one-sided story. Women can stop it by ceasing to dress and act as whores.
Andre, are you suggesting that men are unable to control their primitive urges if women dress “like whores”? Who defines what that means? Does this mean that if you’re around a woman in a short skirt you’re going to just jump on her?
Sounds like we should keep the women in our lives a little further away from you…
Your simplistic comments are laughable. You imply that women are helpless angels. Apart from your site being an easy, if lowbrow, money making-scheme (you makes your bread where you can), I wonder: Does a computer program do the actual writing of your articles using the trendy vocabulary “du jour” such a “good guy”, “hero”, “dirtbag”…? By the way, I have tried to unsubscribe twice now from your site…
Andre, I do nothing of the sort – we have ALL been burned in this life, I just choose to see the good in people while you troll people’s personal blogs and leave your trail of nonsense.
How, exactly, do you surmise that I make money from this free, templated blog? Do you have any clue of what type of traffic volume I’d have to do to make any sort of cash from the little ads you see populated here? Literally millions of unique visitors…
This is a personal blog where I write my thoughts and opinions, just like any other blog on wordpress. Not quite sure where you get “money making scheme” from. lol.
Here ya go, boss, you inspired me to start a conversation: https://www.facebook.com/JamesMSama/posts/1712505445435496
You can’t blame the victim for the actions of the perpetrator, that’s just not the right attitude to have here. That being said, women are not powerless either.
Don’t disagree with James, or you will be labeled a troll!
This just makes me wonder about men who do stuff like this….
Right on James – right on!! Good for you! Great article.
This is not only a man problem, it’s a human problem called bullying. I’ve been bullied most of my life and now can stand up to it. But I’ve seen men bullied too. It IS a human problem because no one really knows what to do with these power plays. We have to be ready to accept the consequences.
When a parent or relative bullies a child, that child will have a lot to overcome to ever feel secure. I stood up to a relative to protect his daughter. The daughter hated me. All I could think is “ how often has this happened for her to feel she deserves this?”
Then getting bullied at work. Some of Weinstein’s targets were never able to work in Hollywood again! They needed a completely different career. I’ve been there too.
Abusive marriages remain together because of the consequences of abuse and/or prenup agreements. It’s everywhere.
I feel your stance, James, is a wise one. I will continue to stand up to those I feel I can. I hope to not put myself physically in jeopardy, I have to weigh if it’s worth it. Maybe I’ll just walk away. But there are SO many people affected. It’s daunting!!
Well, feel safe to blame men for all the bad in the world; after all, it’s trendy in many feminist circles. “The gentleman is the new bad boy… nice slogan.”
James, I’ve been following your blog for a while and always enjoy reading. This specific hit home pretty hard, as well as the news about Weinstein. A few months ago I was sexually assaulted by a good friend’s husband. Only 2 people know of this, and neither is my husband. I truly believe he would blame me. Unfortunately my friend has been through an astronomical amount of stress and sadness this year, and I refuse to add this news to her problems. Unfortunately I get to see this man often when I visit her. I’ve had to hide my disgust and pretend that there are no issues between us. What the victims of Weinstein have experienced and the psychological pain they must have felt (still feeling) must be numbing. I can relate. Unfortunately, the person replying to your post (Andre)hit a nerve with me and also makes me realize that his screwed up, narrow minded interpretation of women is more common than not and quite disturbing. However, I know that a lot of people, men AND women believe the same. Thanks for writing this. I’ve wanted to write since it happened to me, but I just can’t. Robin
Sent from my iPhone
What do you mean by ” I was sexually assaulted “? The policeonce told me that merely touching (like touching a shoulder) a person can be construed as assault… so of course I’m screwed up.
Women aren’t idiots, An. Sexual assault isn’t on the shoulder. Unless your anatomy is strange.
James, what a great article! We – both men & women – have to treat each other better…🙏🏻
Hollywood is filled with joo sickos like Bryan Singer who rape tween boys or JJ Abrams who get his kicks on the casting couch by having a white female lead like Daisy Riddley suck a black homeless man’s cock. It is all about power and control these people have and can’t get enough of but men and women are exploited by these sick people. I think your point of blaming all men is flawed because only a few men are in positions of authority and Hollywood has an anything goes mentality and many actors will do what it takes to get the roll or part. Hollywood lacks transparency and has been protected since its role is in propaganda and transforming and influencing people especially towards leftist values that burn everything the west stands for.
I can’t even recall how many times and by how many different men I’ve been sexually abused by. I was almost kidnapped at 15 off the side of the highway in the afternoon. I could see my house which was a sprint away. I was wearing tshirt and jeans.
-My father molested me as a baby and then assaulted me again in my late 20’s after I gave this man I didn’t know the benefit of the doubt.
-My step father tortured me for years. I dressed in layers of baggy clothes because of him. I could not be feminine or stylish. So it certainly wasn’t because of the way I dressed.
-I was surrounded by 4 strong young men on a school bus. One kept grabbing my crotch while the others cheered him on. Like a sport. I was dressed per school standard at LEAST.
-I had a man put something in my drink. (I was 15, he about 21)
-I had a boss who would slap myself and coworkers on the behind. We wore tshirts and jeans.
-Had a man fired for sexual harassment at work a couple of years ago for which there was retaliation. We wore uniforms.
-And on the daily I deal with men saying inappropriate things to myself and my coworkers at work for which we have to defend ourselves.
Funny thing about these men is that they are graying and they will target very young ladies. Once you call them on it they pull the “I’m just an old man” card. “Limps away, cough, sad face.” And then you’re a bit afraid they’re going to turn you in because hey, they’re the “million dollar boys club”.
One old married man was standing among a group of our ladies, and him not knowing if any were underage declaring he was a pimp.
These are just examples that I can immediately recall but I can tell you there are more. Like when I was selling girl scout cookies in town at about 12 y/o and a man tried to get me to sit on his lap.
One, just one reason why I have found it hard to ever speak about some things is because it might implicate people we love in the eyes of others. We still have others besides ourselves to protect.
I also suffered the abandonment of both sides of my family. Not every member but when those members lives are twisted with the family members who have shunned you more than with yours, what do you do? They are invited to gatherings and you can’t go.
In my case, father, brother and neighbor. I just stopped going home.
-There was the older man who asked if we could take my truck to pick up watermelons and once off and alone offered $100 to sleep with him. No I did not.
-A large man picked me up with one arm in the cooler at work, IHOP, and assaulted me. Did it to my coworker as well.
-Went out with two men alone at 18 one night. Took me on a back road. The one I knew threw rocks at me and then they left me there. He said it was because his cousin wanted to rape me so he left with him instead.
Few more examples.
Here here. Thank you for being an advocate for the silent sufferers.
Women as victims? Such a tired cliché. A victim goes to the police as soon as she can to file a complaint. As some Hollywood types have attested, Weinstein was known to all, including Hillary (yes, the female-in-chief enabler), to have a casting couch. Shock! Such a thing could exist? For as long as movies have been made, women have been clamoring to climb on such couch to gain fame and fortune. When one woman finally complains publicly, the “victims” come out of the wood work for a second round of benefits. Yes James, there will always be “dirt-bag” men and “dirt-bag” women ready to sell their souls for a shot at Hollywood fame. Sorry, but it just isn’t my problem, as a MAN I feel no need to get upset or wail against the personal choices of other grownups. As the old saying goes: Men use power to get sex, women use sex to get power.