Whether it is through direct work with clients, or through discussions on social media, I always find that one topic is a universal standard when it comes to talking about dating: Online dating.
Online dating has really shifted the standards of dating – but it doesn’t have to be all bad. A lot of people think that online dating has taken away from the real life interactions we have with other people, but I think there are a few notable benefits that shouldn’t be ignored:
- It allows you to speak with far more people than you would in real life. Let’s say you get 20 matches on your EliteSingles profile – if that’s the site you use. How long would it take you to make 20 connections with 20 new people during your daily routine? Likely a whole lot longer…
- It allows for you to ‘filter’ people more easily. No – not like an Instagram filter, but the kind that prevents you from spending time getting to know someone who doesn’t have similar interests or views as you do.
- It allows you to present yourself in your best light. This DOES NOT mean to alter your appearance or lie in your bio – it means that you may not be super confident approaching that man/woman in a grocery store if you’re sweating bullets from the gym and your makeup is melting off of your face like wax from a candle. But, online? You always look great.
That being said, though, I think a lot of people get frustrated because they don’t quite know how to best utilize these platforms. One of the most common things I hear is “I just don’t know what to say.”
Online dating is more strategic than people think. You don’t just toss up a few cell phone photos and say “hey, sup?” in your bio and call it a day. So, for that reason, I’ve partnered with the experts at EliteSingles to help bring you some tips and tricks.
First: Look how you would on a first date.
EliteSingles spoke with Hey Saturday, which is a company that professionally produces online dating photos. This is actually not something that I’d thought of before, but it makes perfect sense.
I think when most people set up their online dating profile, they scour their Facebook or Instagram photos to find a good variety – of course the obligatory hiking and dog-hugging photos need to make the cut, but how many of us really think to ourselves: Is this how I’d look showing up on a date?
Put your makeup on (if you wear makeup), rock your favorite heels (if you wear heels), and flash your smile – the point is, present yourself in a way that makes you the most comfortable; that will help you best project your natural self in your profile.
Second: Remember a picture is worth a thousand words.
Your online dating profile isn’t just a place to plaster up your sexiest photos and hope to catch someone’s attention: It’s a piece of internet real estate where you get to tell single men and women who you are, and what you’re all about.
Your photos play a massive role in doing that. We talked about how you present yourself in the photos, but what about location? What types of things do you like to do? Are you an avid runner? Do you like to cook? Is art a big part of your life?
No matter what your interests are, you will look your happiest and most genuine when you are taking part in them. Use this as an opportunity to get photos of you in your natural element and tell your story to those who are looking.
Third: Stand out from the crowd.
This is essentially my philosophy in any part of life, if you couldn’t already tell. But when it comes to online dating, think about just how many endless photos we are scrolling through on a daily basis. It can be overwhelming and even tempting to just put your phone or computer down and walk away for a bit.
This is why it’s so important to use bright, vibrant colors, and have (at least a featured photo) that will grab someone’s attention as they’re scrolling. Online dating (or…any kind of dating) is very visual, so if you can position yourself in a way to make an impact, you’ll be at an advantage.
Not sure how to go about it? Science suggests that red is the best color to use.
Fourth: Avoid group photos.
Sure, maybe one or two is fine, but group photos are a difficult sell (especially to lead with) because…well…nobody knows which one you are! I know you want to show that you’re social and be out in group situations, but if I see too many group photos on a profile and just can’t tell who the person is, I simply move on to the next.
If anything, at least have a couple of really solid photos of yourself beforehand so the men/women looking know which beautiful/handsome face is yours, and then transition to a group or two. But as a rule of thumb, YOU are the focus.
Fifth: Don’t have someone of the opposite sex in your photos.
According to EliteSingles, if you’ve got someone of the opposite sex in your photos, about 60% of people will ask you who it is. This can be a barrier because that other 40% may just scroll past you on their own assumptions. Is it your brother? Cousin? Ex-boyfriend? CURRENT boyfriend? Who knows…
However, another interesting statistic is that if you have children, you are actually 4 times MORE likely to get a date if you have them in your photos. So, there’s an exception to the opposite sex rule.
So, tell me in the comments below – what challenges do you face with online dating? What online dating websites or apps do you use? Thanks for reading!